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Two bereavements in a short time and now more bad news

(16 Posts)
Lizzies Thu 07-May-20 22:34:20

I lost my husband to cancer after two years of illness in January and my lovely dad to this virus complicated by his underlying conditions last month. Then today I was told that a lovely friend has been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and there is nothing they can do. I don’t know if I can cope. I am furloughed and all my family lives away. Friends ring me and I face time my daughter and grandchildren, but it’s not the same as physical contact. I thought I was doing ok, but it’s getting to me tonight. Sorry for the rambling.

Lucca Thu 07-May-20 22:36:59

Lizzie you have had such a hard time. I really hope that soon you will find something to brighten your life.

Lizzies Thu 07-May-20 23:26:24

Thank you Lucca I am generally quite positive, but this news has been a shock today.

merlotgran Thu 07-May-20 23:27:06

I'm not surprised the sadness in your life is getting to you, Lizzies.

Try and focus on the positives if you can - the phone calls from friends and facetime with your DD and DGSs. Lack of physical contact is hard but being in your loved ones' thoughts and they in yours keeps you close.

Hope you feel better tomorrow.

CanadianGran Thu 07-May-20 23:27:45

I'm so sorry to hear of your losses. Hugs to
I'm glad you are able to come here to this forum for some small comfort.

Maggiemaybe Thu 07-May-20 23:29:32

I’m so sorry, Lizzies, that you are going through so much at the moment. It must seem unbearable right now. Hang on to the thoughts of your daughter and grandchildren and try to look forward to the time when you’ll see them again. Life can hit us hard sometimes, but you will get through this. thanks

Evie64 Thu 07-May-20 23:39:11

Bless you Lizzies. I feel for you having to cope with such a run of awfully sad news. Be kind to yourself, and try not to focus on all the negatives in your life. Stay strong, you can, and will, survive this. sunshine

Hithere Fri 08-May-20 02:18:29

So sorry for your losses

Are you able to attend any online grief group?

lavenderzen Fri 08-May-20 09:05:52

So sorry to hear of your losses Lizzies flowers

Brunette10 Fri 08-May-20 09:39:34

So sorry to hear of your losses Lizzies flowers it must be truly heartbreaking. Take care.

Franbern Fri 08-May-20 09:56:28

I sympathise, during the lockdown time I have been told of four deaths. Three due to the virus and one (the youngest) due to cancer. Two are family members, the other two long-time friends.
Did find it much harder to cope with these at this time, and not being able to go to funerals, or visit to comfort people has made it so much worse.
Having got over the worst few days, I have set my thinking of good times to come, when I can go to see my children and g.children.
2021 is going to be a year full of commemorations and celebrations of life for those that have died this year.
Lizzies, concentrate on good things, do not watch or listen to much news each day - and start to look ahead.
My best wishes to you

Candelle Fri 08-May-20 10:06:49

Many of us know of deaths due to this horrible virus and/or of friends and family who are very ill or who have recently passed away.

Being unable to say goodbyes and give our family and friends a hug or just hold their hands, seems so unnatural but we have to accept that the situation is beyond our control.

Franbern's latter part of her mail has eloquently said what I was going to write: pause where we are now and when life safely resumes once more commemorate and celebrate those we have lost. It seems a little trite but try to think of future good times yet to come.

jaylucy Fri 08-May-20 10:16:16

Oh gosh what horrible news for you after your two bereavements.
Just keep in touch with your friend any way that you can. Howabout writing a letter to her if you can get to the post office for stamps or sending some flowers? There are still quite a few florists that may not have their shops open, but you can order online and they will arrange non contact delivery.
Don't forget that many Gransnetters will have possibly been going through similar bereavements and is Cruse still available for support either online or over the phone?

Luckygirl Fri 08-May-20 10:27:04

Such difficult times Lizzies - take care.

jacq10 Fri 08-May-20 10:52:19

So sorry to hear this from you, Lizzies This is a difficult time for those that have lost friends and family recently. I am at a bit of low just now and although I get a lot of comfort from Gransnet I am always hesitant in posting and last night got a phone call to let me know an old friend had passed away due to Covid so this has taken me down further and so annoyed at myself for feeling like this. As he was in sheltered housing and in poor health he was struggling before. Made friends with him and his late wife many years ago in Spain and he loved to visit us up here in the north of Scotland. I think Franbern's post offers good advice and will try to keep it in mind when feeling low.

Lizzies Fri 08-May-20 11:07:57

Thank you all for your responses. I am going to concentrate on the positive and look forward as advised. I have my little dog to cuddle and she seems to know when I am down. My daughter has also sent me a cushion she has made to look like her with long arms that I can put round me for a virtual hug.