Golden Wedding

In a similar situation and in lockdown throughout - rizlett's link is helpful. Perhaps try to draw up a schedule the night before with different things to do every hour. It doesn't matter if you don't achieve it, it just gives shape to the day and some things to look forward to. Have a nice breakfast, listen to radio four, pick a bunch of flowers, put partners picture in a prominent place, talk to him, open a poetry book and read the first poem on whatever page falls open, check youtube for some gently comedy or humour, empty one shelf of the larder with any tins near expiry date, conjure up a meal with the tinned food, email us on Gransnet with the recipe [I have two tins of corned beef that I loathe but need to use up], listen to a piece of sad music and cry, check YouTube for some gently comedy or humour. I became v.sad sorting out the necessary paperwork, but listened to one or two clips of Jeanne Robertson [American comedienne] which lessened the despair for a while. It doesn't matter what you do but that you try and diversify the activity you have chosen to do every hour or so. I wish you well and look forward to your recipe on Gransnet for palatable corned beef [ugh]

I'm sorry I can't t say anythong to help you feel better but im sending you a big hug. It will be our 46th wedding anniversary on Monday and I just can't think what life would be without him. Do look back at many happy years you shared then keep busy with a friend or family members. I'll think of you on Wednesday

So sad for you *Luckygirl
We managed to celebrate our Golden wedding , albeit quietly, and even our Diamond, although my H didn’t understand , but an achievement in itself.
Please treat your special day in the same way.
Celebrate your lovely family, and be thankful for the years you had.
Two weeks ago was my 62nd, my lovely GD and I went to a local pub and had a Sunday roast and toasted him and our life together.
We must be so grateful for what we had and not mourn what we didn’t.
We are among the lucky ones

Just sending hugs lucky. I have no words to help.

These posts have been so kind and so moving and I send kind thoughts to all who have or are battling the challenge of bereavement.

I have decided that on Weds I will go to his grave with some yellow roses; then come back home and get on with the clearing of my house for the move. It is a long task and I am trying to take it bit by bit. I will allocate a specific task for Wednesday. I expect that DDs will pop in at some point too. I want to try and have the moment of remembrance and then get back to life again. If I dwell on it too much I will not be able to function at all.

That is the plan - but I also plan to forgive myself if I cannot do any of it. So hard to know what is right; but it feels right to me not to concentrate the whole day on sad memories, but to try and pick myself up.

It is all made so hard by the fact that the happy memories are quite a long way in the past - his long and miserable illness means that all the recent memories are not good ones.

Luckygirl I so know what you mean about the happy memories being subsumed by the last years.
I still struggle to remember the early very happy years and the middle years just full of contentment.
I really feel it helped me to cope with his death that the last years were so troubled.
Only someone who has been through it will fully understand.
The stranger you lived with, the intimate things you had to do and deal with, the sense of release when you are both out of that awful time.
I wish you the best day you can manage on Wednesday, you can and will do it.

I am so sorry for you. I hate to think of anyone who is sad and lonely but you have done so well to get this far. Be with your family, lean on them for support. The support group that rizlett suggested sounds good - I’m a big believer in forums whereby people who are in the same situation can help each other, I think it’s comforting to know you’re not alone. Wishing you luck and sending lots of love and hugs ❤️

My husband died nearly 4 years ago, 3 months after our 53rd anniversary. We couldn`t go out to celebrate our Golden Wedding because he was in hospital. We said we`d celebrate at a later date, but he was never well enough, so it didn`t happen. I don`t do anything special on our anniversary, but as a family we tend to try and do something nice on the anniversary of his death, and on his birthday, usually a family meal out, once we all went on a boat trip along a local river, stopping off at a riverside pub for lunch. It`s been hard, these last few years, and I often wish that I was joining him, but the family tell me in no uncertain terms to "Shut up mother!!"
I`ll be thinking of you on Wednesday Luckygirl x

Love and hugs to you Luckygirl.??

Thinking of you, Luckygirl.(((Hug)))
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Sending (((hugs)))) lucky. Be gentle with yourself today.

???from me, Luckygirl - hope you can manage some ?too.

? have the loveliest day you can Luckygirl

Thinking of you today, Luckygirl ?

Be gentle with yourself Luckygirl, thinking of you today ??

A simple message to say you are in my thoughts today.

Thinking of you today, Luckygirl. Don’t expect too much of yourself today. If you want to have a good cry, then give yourself permission to do so. It could be very cathartic. Hope you have some smiles too - when you think of the happy times with your late DH. Lots of love. ?

Thinking of you, Luckygirl, and hoping that the best memories will come to the surface. Glad you have the move to plan for and some of the family near.

Thinking of you today Luckygirl and hoping your day passes as well as possible.

I wanted to add something following your comment about your happy memories being quite a long way back. This changes over time, the difficult recent memories begin to fade and the happy ones get stronger.

Sending all good thoughts to you ?

Thank you so much everyone - it means a lot to me that all you kind people have remembered and taken the trouble to send a message.

Kindest thoughts are with you today

Thinking of you with your yellow roses.......and hope that this simple act will give you some comfort. Be kind to yourself and take all the time and healing that you need to feel you can carry on with a life for yourself with your family. A very good life. Hugs and flowers from probably everyone on here.

Thinking of you today Luckygirl?

Thinking of you Luckygirl Keep your chin up, honey.

Thinking of you Luckygirl.