Gransnet forums


Addressing a sympathy card

(15 Posts)
hugshelp Sun 29-Nov-20 13:04:33

I need to send a card to a friend and her son, who have lost their husband and father. I'm happy that I've sorted the personal message in the card but I'm not sure what to put on the envelope.

I would normally put to Jane, John and James Smith (not real names) if I was sending a card, but John is no longer with us. Looks so wrong just putting Jane and James Smith.
DH thinks I should but in sympathy on the actual envelope, but that seems rather public.
I'm probably over-thinking this but is there a best way of doing this?

Woodmouse Sun 29-Nov-20 13:07:55

What about "The Smith Family"? Simple and accurate still.

Bellanonna Sun 29-Nov-20 13:10:23

Mrs Jane & mr James Smith

Don’t put anything else on the envelope

Redhead56 Sun 29-Nov-20 13:14:15

Mrs Jane and Master James Smith.

kittylester Sun 29-Nov-20 13:55:38

Except the Master could be in his 50s!

I'd go with Family.

Sardinia2020 Sun 29-Nov-20 14:05:27

Think I would just put Mrs J Smith. She will share it with her son and you’ve no doubt written the message inside to both mother and son.

lemongrove Sun 29-Nov-20 14:12:42

I agree with Sardinia

dragonfly46 Sun 29-Nov-20 14:17:55

I sent two separate cards and letters when my friend's husband died. She told me afterwards that I was the only person who had sent anything to her daughter alone. She really appreciated it.

Patsy70 Sun 29-Nov-20 15:17:24

I agree with Sardinia and lemongrove.

hollysteers Sun 29-Nov-20 15:40:01

Mrs. J.Smith and family.

hugshelp Sun 29-Nov-20 17:56:21

Thank you, DH made me overthink it, but you've all reassured me.

Nonogran Sun 29-Nov-20 18:01:14

Can Mr Google help? Debretts might be helpful too?
I believe that a widow should be Mrs J Smith (or whatever her forename initial is) and her son Mr J Smith as per the son's forename initial & surname.
I would write:
Mrs J Smith, Mr J Smith
If you use "and family" she may think to herself that they are not the family they used to be anymore & might be upset at that thought?
It's a difficult one but I'm sure Google can help. It's kind that you are taking time to get it right. So many folks wouldn't even send a card these days. One would likely get a text message!

BlueBelle Sun 29-Nov-20 18:28:00

I would do Mrs XSmith and mr Y smith or if you know them very well send a card to each

FannyCornforth Sun 29-Nov-20 18:44:24

Yes, address it to the wife / widow as pps have said.

TrendyNannie6 Sun 06-Dec-20 23:20:04

I would send a card to each of them