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No response from GP at all

(36 Posts)
MRGUDER Fri 19-Nov-21 11:40:49

My father died in September after being diagnosed with Terminal Cancer in July. At the time of diagnosis his GP stated Dad was her no. 1 priority but that was literally the last time we ever heard from her. Nothing between July and September and now nothing after his death to ask how my Mum is doing. Is that the experience of other Gransnet contributors suffering a bereavement this year? GP was also my Mum's but she has only been seen/called by other locum GPs since.

Hetty58 Sun 21-Nov-21 10:44:56

harrigran, sometimes people don't make contact - or may even cross the road to avoid you - because they feel awkward, don't know what to say - or don't want to upset you by talking about it (ridiculous, but true).

SusieB50 Thu 25-Nov-21 14:36:31

I do have very good caring GP’s , my DH died at home nearly two years ago . He died within 3 weeks of a terminal diagnosis . Our GP’s visited twice and when he died, all 3,doctors separately phoned to offer their condolences .About a month later a GP phoned to see how I was .

BlueBelle Thu 25-Nov-21 15:44:35

When my grandma died who I was looking after in my home for her last three years of life (so my doctor became her doctor) no one contacted me and this was 35 years ago again when my mum and dad died (dad in my care) no one contacted me and I would have been most surprised if they did
Perhaps in depends on the size of the practice mine is a very big practice with about 8 or more doctors and thousands of patients Perhaps in a village or small town with a practice of a couple of doctors it’s more likely to happen
I didn’t expect it so it didn’t concern me

Ladyleftfieldlover Thu 25-Nov-21 15:58:58

When my father died years ago at the age of 48, his GP was on holiday. He returned on the day of the funeral and came to see mum straight away. My father had been a much loved and very special person. I still have all the condolence cards and letters which were sent to the family over 40 years on.

mumofmadboys Thu 25-Nov-21 17:28:03

When I was first a GP we always did bereavement visits when someone died and maybe a visit a couple of weeks later as well. By the time I retired I was in a much bigger practice and it was much, much busier. I would always phone then and sometimes visit. I went to the very occasional patient's funeral usually someone I got to know well who I looked after for the last few months of a terminal illness.

harrigran Fri 26-Nov-21 00:45:43

I wish our GPS had shown some compassion, I had to beg one to visit my dying husband after he had a fall. She rang me and said she would assess him over a video call, I told her she really must visit the house. My DH was only seen that once face to face in the last two years of his life.

Grammaretto Fri 26-Nov-21 02:03:37

I am sorry to hear of all those who feel abandoned.
DH died a year ago in the Lockdown . His last month was spent at home and community nurses called every day and our GP came several times. She sometimes brought a medical student. She was marvellous. I realise now we are very lucky. I cannot fault our practice.
I wrote to thank them but had no cause to see a doctor until months later when I phoned about a sore throat. The GP phoned me and asked how I was coping since he died.
She also told me to gargle with salty water. It worked.

TopsyIrene06 Fri 26-Nov-21 07:41:04

My late DH who was a GP, always visited his dying patients if they were at home and followed up with phone calls to the loved ones left behind.

That was a few years ago and I know things have changed so much as to be unrecognisable now. So sorry for the lack of support for some on here when going through what is and always will be the worst time of both your lives.

Grammaretto Fri 26-Nov-21 16:42:28

Your experience is really sad Harrigran. flowers

Deedaa Fri 26-Nov-21 16:52:07

When I was told that DH would die I rang our GP because I knew he would want to know. When I visited him a few weeks afterwards he immediately wanted to know how I was and if I was coping. When I commented that the final couple of months had been hard he said "No, you've had a hard couple of years" I hadn't realised anyone had noticed. When I saw him a year later after lockdown his first question was still how was I?

When I went to the surgery to tell them DH had died I got a big hug from the prescriptions clerk who had often had to help me sort out his medication.