I have never experienced bereavement

Grandma70s - I think the OP probably meant bereavement in the way you describe it. Both my husband and mother died in their 50s after distressing illnesses. It was a relief though I obviously was sad and now feel I missed many years with both of them.
My father was elderly, frail and very disabled from a stroke. I felt he had had a good life and lived to a good age so did not grieve in the same way as with younger people.
My best friend from school days died in her 60s. Though we kept in touch, we were no longer close, but I was devastated. I can't explain why that death upset me more than others, and still does.

TBF to the OP, s/he has said that those whose death s/he has experienced have been elderly with serious health problems so their death was a relief as they were no longer in pain.

Some will experience bereavement in those circumstances (I did), but we're all different aren't we.

It’s a sad fact that it’s probably very unusual to reach say, 60 without at least one person you are close to, who is your own age or younger than you, dying. I’ve had quite a few experiences of expected death, and mourned them all very much, particularly my husband, as I know lots of others on here do too. I agree with Elusivebutterfly, the person whose death really shocked me was my BFF, who died very suddenly of a heart attack in her early fifties. I think being unprepared for a death is very, very hard in terms of the sense of grief you feel, and I wouldn’t wish it on anybody.

That happened to my mum, dad, sister-in-law and father-in-law Casdon. Sudden deaths. No illness. SIL dropped dead at home aged 49. She never got over the loss of her son, which of course no one would. My mum died in her sleep aged 58. She hadn't been ill. FIL died in the street, also 58.

I lost my husband early this year and i am still grieving for him .He had terminal cancer .

There could be underlying reasons why someone doesn't grieve in a "normal way".
It doesn't impact on anyone else's experience of loss and bereavement though.

My mother’s death was a relief as she had cancer, but I loved her dearly and still do. It was almost 25 years ago but I miss her as much today as ever I did. I can’t understand anyone not feeling bereaved even though they are glad a loved one is no longer suffering. I have certainly felt bereaved when I have lost much loved pets as well. I associate being ‘fond of’ someone with a not very close friend or colleague, not a close family member.

Yongy

I have not felt bereaved when anyone I knew died, including family members, even the ones of whom I was fond. The deceased were very elderly and had serious health problems, so it was a big relief when they died and were no longer in pain.

Being fond of people is years away from loving them. By the time my husband died 19 months ago , I’d experienced bereavement when close friends died too young, as well as aunts, uncles and my parents. I’d some understanding of grief / bereavement but nothing prepared me for the impact of losing my lovely husband. There was relief his suffering was over but that didn’t diminish the pain of his absence.

I wish the OP would expand on their post. Is it simply an attempt to get us sharing big emotions for a purpose we know nothing of

lucycat

Maybe some of the responses have put the OP off from posting further Iam.

Perhaps the op has only ever experienced fondness, rather than love.

My father was elderly, frail and very disabled from a stroke. I felt he had had a good life and lived to a good age so did not grieve in the same way as with younger people

This is what I was expecting, what I got was completely different.

M0nica

What do you mean by 'bereaved'? What did you expect to feel?

Relieved that they were no longer in pain.

I was, and continue to be surprised at how sad I feel at the loss of my mum
(Yes, "loss" 🙄)
She drove me mad for the last few months of her life, but I really mourn for her.

Loss is the right word MissA. What with not wanting a funeral, despite having children one of whom is a vicar, the OP comes across as unfeeling and selfish.

It's certainly strange to feel that way, I think.
I wonder why, or how somebody could.

I hope Yongy might tell us more.

MissAdventure

I was, and continue to be surprised at how sad I feel at the loss of my mum
(Yes, "loss" 🙄)
She drove me mad for the last few months of her life, but I really mourn for her.

My parents drove me mad for years. I don't think I'll ever move on from this.

Grandma70s

In some circumstances it can be a relief when someone dies. I was relieved when my husband died, although he was very young. He had cancer and was in great distress. I felt relief when my mother died, too. She was five days off her 90th birthday, had had a stroke which deprived her of sensible speech, and her quality of life was nil. She was very unhappy. My father was 94, and dying at 94 isn’t really a tragedy.

None of this meant I didn’t grieve for them, but it would have been very selfish to have wanted them to live.

I’ve never experienced the death of a young, healthy person - in an accident, say. Now that would be grief on another level.

I admit I have only experienced the death of mostly old and very ill people, so if one of our healthy children/grandchildren died due to an accident, I guess I would feel very upset.

Yongy

M0nica

What do you mean by 'bereaved'? What did you expect to feel?

Relieved that they were no longer in pain.

I am confused. You said in your initial post it was a relief they were no longer in pain. Then MOnica asked what you expected to feel, and you said relieved that they were no longer in pain.
By ‘bereaved’ did you maybe mean distraught by a death which was a tragedy, perhaps because of the circumstances?

I admit I have only experienced the death of mostly old and very ill people, so if one of our healthy grandchildren died due to an accident, I guess I would feel very upset.

Well Yongy this post left me breathless. ‘Very upset’ at the sudden death of a grandchild is imo a very unusual way to describe the way you might feel.

I don’t mean to be offensive but I am beginning to wonder if your posts are genuine

Theres something not quite right about this post possibly?

The passing of old people can leave a mark. They have been in your life for a very long time.

Me too. The OP seems to be devoid of normal human feelings.

Well the OP has 3 threads going now..

But you still haven't explained what you mean by 'bereaved' Generally that word simply means that someone close to you has died, not how you feel at their death. Nor have you explained what emotions you think you should feel.

My parents were in their late 80s and 90s when they died, I was not devastated by their deaths, they were inavitable and natural, but I did grieve the loss of their company. Neither had any mental lack of capacity.

My father, in particular, had a wonderful grasp of language and its possibilities, as has DD and any family meal would always include a time when the two of them would start making puns and trying to outrun the other. With my father's death that ended - and we miss him and the hilarity and groans, he brought to the party.

On the other hand when my sister was killed in a road accident . I was devastated, she was only in her mid 40s, her death was sudden and unexpected and we were very close.

if you do feel nothing, think about how you feel othe emotions, love for a partner or child. It could be that you are a psychopath. I am not talking about a media psychopath, red in tooth and nail and looking for people to kill, but just a common or garden psychopath, of which there are many among us, who simply do not feel the emotions that other people do.

So she has, pascal. The latest doesn’t seem exactly credible.

OP sounds devoid of emotion...I know very old and seriously ill people who have died ...their death a blessing....and yet I still felt very very sad they had gone and felt bereaved