Recently bereaved

Oh sweetheart I’m so sorry. I hope you have a good funeral director to help you through the difficult time. Do you have friends from the area that you moved from who can help you?

I am so sorry

So sorry for your loss 😢 May you gain some comfort in knowing that here, on GN, we do care 💐

I didn’t want to scroll past without acknowledging your loss.

Please accept my condolences 💐

Hi Lizzies
Are only friends are in America,
We used to travel around a lot with my husband work. So totally alone.
MacMillan are calling me tomorrow.
Thanks for your reply
Junie

Thanks to all who replied it helps so much.

Junie x

Lizzies

Oh sweetheart I’m so sorry. I hope you have a good funeral director to help you through the difficult time. Do you have friends from the area that you moved from who can help you?

I was about to say the same Lizzies. My condolences to you Junie (

Oh Junie, I am so sorry . MeowWow is correct people really do care. I am thinking about you . I am sure MacMillan will support you and I am sending you the biggest ((( hug))) .
You must be devasted .💐💐💐

Although it sounds inadequate I just had to say how sorry I am.
How are you with the church?
We are lucky to have a vicar who doesn't push religion at you but is kind and sensible with help and advice. As Lizzies suggests, ask your funeral director for suggestions, its part of his job after all.

Sending you a big (((hug))) thinking of you.x

I am so sorry to read your post, Junie. I hope that you feel able to reach out to other people. They may become friends. Others who have suffered widowhood may have good advice to give, but I can offer only a virtual hug, which I absolutely do.

I am so sorry for your loss and the difficult situation you are finding yourself in.
Your funeral directors and the executor on the will should be your greatest assets at the beginning. If you were named as each other’s executor consider appointing a solicitor if you can afford it. Your GP should also be a source of support and advice. Are there any local bereavement groups you could google? When you come to register the death the registrar is usually very helpful and kind, get several copies for banks etc who will need to see it. They also offer a one contact service so you have to do a bit less, though everything will need to be changed to your name only. Make lists and take any help offered. You dont need to do everything at once.
Concentrate on getting through the funeral, plan something for the next day. When you’re ready you can start slowly to make new connections. Just mind yourself for now, hour by hour 😘

Oh Junie - so sorry for the loss of your dear husband - that is so sad . I am presuming you have re-settled from the USA ? That’s tough. It’s hard relocating to another street, let alone another country.
I think MacMillan will definitely help you.
Lots of love and hugs 🤗

So sorry for your loss.Would you be prepared to give us an indication of which part of the country you are in.I am sure there will be people on here who would like to help.
Barbarax

I now someone who recently was bereaved and has no family and her friends live at the other end of the country , she found Cruse bereavement support very helpful this is their helpline no. it is free 0808 808 1677. I hope they might help you I know they helped her a lot .

I'm really sorry to hear that. My heartfelt condolences to you.

Thanks so much all of you.
We live in north wales.
We did not locate from the USA, that is where are friends moved to. We just had each other, when he got ill I cared for him for 2 years, before that I cared for my mum for 6 years.

You are all wonderful
Thanks so so much
Junie xx

I can only say how sorry I am. It’s very early, take care of yourself, a day at a time, and when you feel up to it contact Cruse.

junie1 you must be devastated. I am so sorry you feel alone at a time when you really need loved ones around.

Others have made suggestions so I will add to take things slowly and be very easy on yourself.

I found the Sue Ryder on-line bereavement site very helpful when someone close to me died.

Please keep posting here if you feel the need- you will get good advice and support from people who know how it feels.

Don't be frightened to contact old friends and colleagues your husband knew too. They may be more supportive than you think.

junie1 please accept my sincere condolences. Please keep in touch, there will be so much support on here. Much love xxx

Junie1. Sending you love and a big hug. So very sorry you are alone at this time. Losing your husband is truly devastating. Please do keep in touch on Gransnet as we will be here for you. Much love xxx

@junie1 so very sorry. Do you have any good friends from before whom you could contact at this time?
But you are not alone, I don't know much about organising everything, the nuts and bolts of it, but hopefully someone on here will have experience to pass on.
Wishing you strength xxxx

juniel you are not alone in feeling as you do . I hope you do have someone to help with all the paperwork. I know how much you hurt and the last thing you want to do with the aftermath of the other half of you dieing . You feel all you want to do is curl up in a ball and shut out the world. But unfortunately until it happens you don't realise how much you have to deal with as soon as your loved one dies.

Even though we knew how much time my husband had to live from his diagnosis and then when he was terminal. He wrote lists of who I had to contact as soon as he died and I didn't want to do any of it but had to.

If you are having problems sleeping cuddle something that smells like your husband. Or in my case because of my husband's eczema all the things he used didn't smell.. But he won a cuddly snowman at our GPs raffle so I cuddled that for 8 months .

Whatever you are feeling is normal there is no right or wrong way to grieve. But I be would encourage you to talk out loud to your husband everyday I promise it helps . I have shouted ,swore at my husband blamed him for dieing and leaving me alone . But then I see him with that stupid grin on his face .

Grief not only hurts mentally but physically. You cry that much your eyes are sore and your chest hurts . I would never want to do what I did . I thought I had to be brave for everyone else and held my grief in until bedtime . I was a fool but what did I know about bone crushing grief at 45. No one expected me to be brave but it took me years before I realised that.

I still remember having to force myself to have a wash and brush my teeth and hair . As I didn't see the point but had to . Maybe you feel that way but it's all part of grief.

When McMillan calls don't try and be brave they expect you to cry . They will help you through everything. And they have a check list of things to do and in what order.

Keep posting how you feel as it's better to write it down than let it fester inside . Nothing I can say will make you feel better just know you are not alone. 💐

junie1

Thanks so much all of you.
We live in north wales.
We did not locate from the USA, that is where are friends moved to. We just had each other, when he got ill I cared for him for 2 years, before that I cared for my mum for 6 years.

You are all wonderful
Thanks so so much
Junie xx

Junie1, Like others, I am so sorry. I was widowed over four years ago and your post reminded me of that desperate feeling when you realise you are all alone.
I am not going to say it gets better, (although it does calm down as time goes by) but you do learn to cope. I thought I never would, but I have. It is sheer hell on earth at first but you need to take a deep breath and focus on staying sane. Don’t worry about all that needs to be done. It will get done, honestly. Do one bit at a time. As each day passes, your head will clear a little.
You have done the right thing coming on here. You can talk, rant, cry and be as upset as you need to be and someone will be there to put a gentle hand out to you. It always amazes me that, no matter what time you post, even at 3am or thereabouts, someone is always awake and on here.
A big hug to you from me.