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First Christmas as a widow- I got through the day

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BA69 Thu 26-Dec-24 11:23:48

Well, it's all over for another year as my mum used to say. I had what you may call an alternative Christmas this year. I did try to have a lie in but woke up at 6am and that was it, what a long day. I tried my best to have a "normal" day, just a simple meal cooked in the air fryer, and I listened to music on Youtube nearly all day, not Christmas music, I had Meatloaf and Queen and Irish music blaring out (my neighbours were away) It did help but I couldn't help thinking about what I was doing with my husband this time last year and then the tears came. I wanted to be on my own though, to be honest needed that time to reflect, I do feel a sense of relief now it is over. Anyway I am going on my Twixmas Break tomorrow until Monday, bit nervous but I know I need to do it I have to get out of this rut I am in. If it works out I will consider it for Christmas period next year.

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Taichinan Tue 31-Dec-24 22:46:17

I do admire you BA69 for the way you have coped and also for going on your "twixmas break". You're doing amazingly well! I know you are hurting inside but but that brave face is giving you courage. Sorry if that sounds rather condescending - it's not meant to. I really am full of admiration and I hope your break was a success

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Dove75 Sun 26-Jan-25 05:22:28

This was my 1st Christmas without my husband of 52 years. A wonderful couple invited me to have dinner with them and another Widow. God Bless Robin & Jerry for making sure that Etta and I didn't spend Christmas alone.
My church family is staying close by that is a blessing! I never expected to be walking this journey I am taking it 1 day at a time!

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Whiff Sun 26-Jan-25 07:28:29

Dove that's all you can do . Glad you had 52 years with your husband. I can't say the grief will get easier as in my experience it gets worse. But you learn to cope but grief can suddenly overwhelm you at the oddest times. 21 years since my husband died next month we had 29 years as a couple married 22 . I have often said finding the other half of ourselves the one person in the world who makes us a whole such love grief is the heavy price we have to pay. The moment my husband took his last breath half of me died and haven't been whole since. But because of his love and my love still for him I can face each day.

I am glad you had a nice Christmas and have family and friends to support you . But sadly you may have already found out who your real friends are as some people disappear from your life . Happened to me . Plus some people except you to stop grieving after 6 months so I never bothered with them .

I hope you talk out loud to your husband everyday it does help. Plus I have shouted at my husband for dieing ,have swore him,blamed him if things have gone wrong but then I see him with that stupid grin on his face as if to say feeling better .

Grief has no time limit and you hit the stages of grief in your own time. But the rage and anger I feel over my fit healthy husband getting cancer and dieing when I was born disabled gets me through everyday and I can face whatever life throws at me .
💐

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