“You don’t just lose someone once”

Really lovely poem RosieandherMaw it will resonate with anyone who has faced loss, so that’s a lot of us.Have never come across it before either.

Fartooold

This is so true, grief is wrecking my life, one son died 2020, my lovely husband 2022 and another son in 2023. It is not getting any better and will it ever improve. My thoughts are with you all.

Kind thought to all who struggle.

The 5 stages were never intended to be about grief or loss. They are a theory, an attempt to make sense of something.Her work was about people facing end of life. However, it has been hijacked.
We like certainty. We like to sit in the same place, drink the same coffee or tea.We like 6 weeks of CBT or the grief model or whatever.
Other societies deal better with feelings

Sometimes when I am feeling the aching sadness of losing my father, I remember this little saying and picture. I've used it a lot in my time, and I feel a little connection with it. I hope it brings someone else a little comfort. xx

This is so true, grief is wrecking my life, one son died 2020, my lovely husband 2022 and another son in 2023. It is not getting any better and will it ever improve. My thoughts are with you all.

So real. Lost my DD then DH and every day they are with me still.

These are beautiful and so very true. I find it such a loss that we are not educated on grief and death. There tends to still be a great amount of leftover Victorian views on the subject. However, I find it refreshing and I know it will be incredibly helpful to those who are lucky enough to get to read these posts and have open and compassionate discussions.

We all know that "back in the day" we all mostly lived together. Generations stayed under the same roof. It wasn't until recently, in the grand scheme of time, that we moved away from each other and both birth and death became a more medical event and something that must not be spoken about or reviewed. We say "It's just part of life." I find this a great loss for us.

And grief, grief is never a linear experience, as one would somewhat expect. Instead, it looks more like a cyclone.

Having lost my father in December, even with all the experience I have, given my career/calling, it is so very different when it visits your doorstep. I refer to the great Dr. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross and the 5 stages of grief....

Sending ease and hope to those who are suffering. Always around if you need an ear or shoulder x

I had absolutely no idea what was waiting in the wings for me.

None whatsoever.

So sadly true; my sense of loss increases rather than decreases and I am bereft.

Maw, reading that just now came on the back of reading the lovely “If I be the first of us to die”, by Nicholas Evans this morning, so a double whammy. It’s quite a long poem but it ends:
“ So when you walk the wood where once we walked together
And scan in vain the dappled bank beside you for my shadow,
Or pause where we always did upon the hill to gaze across the land,
And spotting something, reach by habit for my hand,
And finding none, feel sorrow start to steal upon you,
Be still.
Close your eyes.
Breathe.
Listen for my footfall in your heart.
I am not gone but merely walk within you”.
K
Poetry often helps us toil up the steep slope of loss.

Yes, GrannyGravy13, that’s so very true. I’m blessed to still have my DH too, but like you, my parents and grandparents have gone, and also a brother and a sister at too young an age (21 and 3),plus other relatives and friends, so I think these words will resonate with anyone who has lost someone special in their life.

Thank you for sharing them with us, RosieandherMaw, sending you a hug.

This resonated with me.

Thank you💐

I still have my DH but boy this resonates with me regarding my parents and grandparents.