Of course I can do it alone ..

Poignant.

How very true,

If only more women believed in themselves.

It's how I feel.

Not sure you get the point

I get the point all right. A widow for many years wondering how I would cope with bringing up my DD alone.
Dealing with everything that comes along mostly alone.
I have built resilience bit by bit and yes I wish I didn't have to.
So yes rosieandhermaw I do get the point. I've been through everything in that little poem.

Sincere apologies. My reply was addressed to McCavity and I had meant to quote.

Similar to being a single parent really.

So true .

I’m widowed and coping very well, but I can’t do everything alone. From a practical point of view, I often need help from friends or family and if I have to pay someone, so be it.
Otherwise I agree with the sentiments expressed.

No problem RosieandherMaw 🙂

Wow I feel that was written for me. Very difficult sometimes, grown up children just don’t think about it, because I’ve always coped. So they imagine I always can.

Replying while I’m sat on a bench in Brixham after coming here alone for few days break from Hertfordshire. If there’s something I want to do I get on and do it. I’ve got more years behind me, than in front of me.

People say, "You're so strong," like it's a gift, not something I built brick by brick when no one showed up.

This!

I know people mean well but I got sick of hearing it when I was crippled with exhaustion and felt like I couldn’t punch my way out of a wet paper bag!

I’m strong NOW. It takes time to recover.

Lovely poem and yes of course do it all alone, however if only he were still with me.

RosieandherMaw Thankyou, the poem echoes my feelings exactly.

After my husband died in 2014, I got so fed up with people saying 'aren't you coping well'. I am an only child, my husband was estranged from his family. I have 3 adult children. 2 lived away, 1 at home. I organised my step dad's funeral the year before. Do people expect us to sit in a corner rocking? We CAN do this because we have to and life has to go on

I think this resounds with most women, and specially with most widows.

We can do most things ourselves, but we do sometimes wish we didn't have to.

Perhaps I can clean gutters too, but I am not going to. I shall pay someone younger, stronger than I, who is not afraid of heights and standing on ladders to do so.

I am not a widow, but DH is in a care home with dementia so it applies to me too. I have to get on with everything.

Recently a friend said she did not know what she would do if anything happened to her DH. I never said a word.

Reassuring!

I am now married a second time and happy (in spite of some worrying health problems) but that poem fits me after my painful divorce - and if you are divorced people do not realise you are probably not happy, even if it was your choice. The end of a relationship hurts anyway, and suddenly you are on your own. I know widowhood is a time of grieving - am just saying that divorce is painful too - you have lost the good relationship you had hoped for and foolishly kept on longing for. Being alone can be happy but it can be very hard too.

That does resonate, I hate it when people say 'you are so strong' when I feel broken and sob in the shower or the car. DH discharged from hospital last week, no movement in right arm or leg, unable to stand without support, needs full help with continence, washing, cooking, clearing up, skin care, getting in and out of bed and commode chair. We have a small amount of savings, so no help with care costs after the first four weeks. No help with equipment or continence costs, I have had to buy everything and sometimes I get it wrong. His speech goes when he is tired and I can't understand what he is asking for, which frustrates us both. Thank you Rosie. I feel for you.

Very true rosiesmaw.

I met my husband when I was 32. We are both first marriage to each other. He provided me with stability , I won't lie. I was surviving on my own but if he goes first, I'll probably need at least a best friend because I haven't got anyone else adult in this country