Just an ordinary day here, took a trip to the tip and popped into B and Q. Just browsing in the paint aisle when an old song came through the speakers...featuring the name of my Cousin who died a year ago. She was a beautiful person.
At first taken aback, then as her name kept being repeatedly sung I could have folded up. I've since been in floods of tears at home as I realise how much I have been holding in as I've had no one to talk to about her and process the loss.
I've been like this before when suddenly hearing a song, and since a painful break up 40+ years ago! I cannot listen to 'Winner Takes It All' Abba to the end without tears!
But I do feel a release and not ashamed to have loved certain people, so surely it's all good.
Gransnet forums
Bereavement
Caught out today.
(45 Posts)nothing to be ashamed of at all, it brings back memories of long ago, and it's good to remember
It’s all good, so don’t worry! If you don’t ‘let it all out’, where does it go?
I was very close to my old boss, many years ago. There was nothing naughty about it - we were both happily married, but he became a good friend and we had great chats driving to work.
We both loved a song called ‘the wind beneath my wings’ which always seemed to be playing during our journey and I can’t listen to it now without a great sense of loss and nostalgia, and often find it brings me to tears.
It's just I've been accused of being 'too sensitive' and 'over emotional' in the past [very unfairly in my opinion], so I keep a lot to myself.
No one here I can truly relate to.
Sometimes a trigger like a song brings all your emotions flooding back. I think a good cry is necessary and always makes me feel better. My dear friend died over 9 years ago and even now I sometimes pick up my phone to text her when something has happened that I know she would have laughed at or emphasised with. Then I remember I can't.
Empathised! Spell check
I became overwhelmed with grief passing the men’s underwear counter in Marks and Spencer, suddenly realising I would never buy anything there again.
It was a long time ago now but the kindness of the staff stays with me. And I can even see a sort of funny side to it………
I can’t listen to ‘you will never walk alone’ my best friend was cremated to that song when she was only 22. Also, it brings to mind the 96 fans who died.
Today's was 'Valerie' Steve Winwood.
The loss is bad enough, now I'm remembering all the things that I saw, the things that we said to each other, our affection for each other before she died...but at least we had a couple of days to say Goodbye.
I'm thankful for that.
I have racked my brains but just can't think of the song now that still upsets me when I hear it on the radio. I'm going back over 40 years now, when my husband brought home a record and played the love song repeatedly with a silly look on his face. I knew then that he was having an affair because I couldn't remember him ever buying a record before. I was proved right and so we divorced and he married her.
I have several that always have my eyes full of tears because they remind me of my sister, who died in a road accident over 30 years ago. The Nimrod variation from the Enigma variations, one particular aria from Mozart's Marriage of Figaro, Mozart's clarinet quintet.
I think it is even harder for men to show emotion without feeling silly. It is such a shame as sensitivity and fine feelings are nothing to be ashamed of in men or women. It is the people who don't have emotions that we need to beware of.
I find that various pieces of music "set me off" often unexpectedly.
Bluebird a song ,noise ,sight of something brings back memories. They hit you out of the blue. You think you are coping with the death of a loved one but suddenly you find yourself in tears and that heavy weight in your chest. Never fight it or you will hurt more. Doesn't matter where you are let the feeling take you . I learnt the hard way thinking I had to be the brave on and hold in my tears until I was alone or in bed. I was a fool and hurt myself more.
You are human we are full of emotions and sometimes they get the better of us . You loved your cousin and miss her . But your life would have been the poorer for not having her in your life . Loving and being loved in return is precious. Some people live their whole lives without being or giving love . For all you miss her you had that tears are a small price yo pay for love . If you had died something would effect her just the same about you.
There is no time limit on grief or love . And grief is the heavy price we pay for love . And in my experience it gets worse as the years go by even after 21.5 years the grief I feel for my husband is worse he has missed so much . But I let the tears follow and hold on to the precious memories.
This might make you smile our song was Send in the clowns by Judy Coventon ( that's not spelt correctly) it's a song from a musical. And our first dance was to Once twice three times a lady by Lionel Richie my husband sang it to me as we danced . Still can hear his off key singing . 😊
Isn’t it funny I knew you were listening to Valerie Bluebird
The one that brings tears to my eyes is Dance with your Daddy Luther Vandross I never did dance with my daddy although I think I ve got a far back memory of ‘walking on his feet’ remember how we used to do that ? But it’s just the whole essence of the song which just reduces me to rubble I loved my mum too but don’t connect her with a song
I lost my cousin just before Christmas. Although she was 90 she was in good health and a fall down the last 3 stairs in her home ended her life. I am now the last remaining member of my Dad's side of the family and I feel her loss so much. I miss going to stay with her for a few days and our phone chats. It's hard to lose someone close but I will be ever grateful she was in my life and still in my heart.
Forever Autumn still makes me cry after many years. DH and I loved autumn and used crunch through the leaves on our walks. It's when it gets to the part "Those fallen leaves lie undisturbed now you're not here" that the tears fall.
You're not alone bluebird in getting upset hearing a song.
I coulld never understand why my Aunt, who loved music and went blind at the end of her life, didn't want to listen to music.
As I get older I find it more and more difficult to listen to certain songs/pieces as they trigger so many memories.
Now I think I know why my Aunt was like this at the end- maybe the music she loved just became too painful, I don't know.
My late brother was a big Beatles fan and sometimes if the family go out together and a Beatles song comes on in a cafe or a pub we just know it was sent to make us know everything's alright with him, and we celebrate his memory!
I think sometimes it is the unpredictability of the shop music that gets to me- but I would rather hear it and remember than not...
Sarnia big hugs from me to you 💐💐
DH always loved a piece of music called Shackleton’s Cross by Howard Goodall. Beautiful, contemplative, but sad. It came on the radio recently while I was driving, and I had to stop the car and reach for a tissue. The last time we had heard it together was in the car.
@Bluebird243 - re The Winner Takes it All. I agree, it's incredibly painful to listen to, especially the line 'But tell me, does she kiss, like I used to kiss you'. I've got tears in my eyes just typing that.
I started weeping in the supermarket after my mother died, when I heard a child calling "Mummy", and I realised I would never see or talk to her again.
If she'd seen me in a sudden emotional heap in the middle of B&Q as her name blared out through the loudspeakers would have amused my cousin.
Reminds me of the day I was at my cousins house and we were talking about our recently passed beloved Grandmother, saying how much we missed her [both of us were her favourites!]...and her kitchen ceiling crashed down!
[Unknown long term leak in bathroom above caused it. But to choose that moment to collapse made us think Granma was probably listening!].
Music is 'the' special art - nothing else really does that. I almost resolved to go to no more funerals after one last year where it was mainly music and every one was a wrencher.
Slipping through my fingers by Abba always brings a tear to my eyes for no particular reason.
Know exactly how you feel. Any time I hear a song played at my daughter's funeral I have to escape from wherever I am. Have ended up in changing rooms, toilets, back seats of a bus. Now I'm off again just thinking about it.
Join the conversation
Registering is free, easy, and means you can join the discussion, watch threads and lots more.
Register now »Already registered? Log in with:
Gransnet »

