Funeral No Show

Butterandjam. The removal was Sunday and the burial was monday

MollyNew you may be right.

Seansean

Sally ...it's different in Ireland than the UK.

I posted my experience of two Irish funerals, validated by my Irish husband, who has been to many more, which you ignored Sean.
I too have reservations about this thread, as I did from the start.

Did all your work colleagues know your mother? Perhaps they would feel they were intruding on a very personal occasion if they didn't. I do not attend a funeral unless I have known the person. I would send a card and perhaps flowers to the person I know who has had the bereavement.

Seansean

I told my wife bits and pieces of what I'm going through but I find it hard to talk about my feelings sometimes.
Isn't that what forums are for,to speak to people that you don't know.?
And you you are questioning my work hours.
I finish work on Friday's an Noon.

Is it usual for employers in Ireland to close the entire office so all colleagues can attend the funeral of one of their parents?

22 colleagues, 44 parents.....

I've never attended the funeral of someone I'd never met.

Ok BlueBelle.
If it was that easy to help a person a therapist would one need a see a person once instead of weeks ,months years.

Seansean I spent a far bit of effort in talking to you, reasoning with you and giving you advice but you are having NONE of it
You say thank you but I can tell from your posts you have NO intention of taking any of it onboard.
I and others have been very patient you’ve had about 60 posts giving you not only kind thoughts but good advice however you always counter it with ‘thank you, but ….’ you are comfortable in your upset about your colleagues maybe you are using that so you don’t have to think about losing your mum.
I think we have genuinely tried to explain and help but you are not prepared in a way to let it go
So this thread is going nowhere
Good luck Seansean you know best

Seansean

I told my wife bits and pieces of what I'm going through but I find it hard to talk about my feelings sometimes.
Isn't that what forums are for,to speak to people that you don't know.?
And you you are questioning my work hours.
I finish work on Friday's an Noon.

Why not ring Samaritans or Cruise. They’d be better placed to guide you.

My brother died recently didn’t expect anyone to turn up at the funeral but did expect a card off my boss or a bunch of flowers as I would have done for them. I’ve worked there 24 years so it would have been nice to of been thought of. So really their colleagues not friends to me.

I told my wife bits and pieces of what I'm going through but I find it hard to talk about my feelings sometimes.
Isn't that what forums are for,to speak to people that you don't know.?
And you you are questioning my work hours.
I finish work on Friday's an Noon.

Hmmm. Your reaction to the non attendance by your work colleagues is extreme I think and yet you’d come on here telling strangers but not your wife. Are you off work? It’s mid Friday afternoon.

It all sounds highly unlikely to me.

Yes.

Ok guys ..if you don't believe my story then that's on you .
I must be a very sick individual to go online and sign up to s bereavement page just to make up a story to look for attention.
I think their is easier ways to get attention than going on a bereavement website.
It's absolute ridiculous that people don't believe me .

Seansean

Sally ...it's different in Ireland than the UK.

So how are we going to be of any help whatsoever, Sean?

Time to build a bridge - perhaps start by looking for another job. Concentrate on your wife and children and stop being self-indulgent.

I’m sorry for your trouble.

It sounds to me like you’re angry , and you’re taking it it on your colleagues by holding a grudge that they didn’t come to your mam’s funeral.

Some people, even in Ireland, don’t go to funerals. They might remember the funeral of a loved one and find it too upsetting. They might not know what to say and find it mortifying.

There are many reasons what someone doesn’t go to a funeral.

Thinking it’s because they suddenly don’t like you isn’t a helpful or true thought at all.

I think you’d be helped by talking about your mam and what her loss means to you would be helpful.

Your colleagues have lives of their own, and you never know what’s going on for them.

Projecting outward all your anger about your mam’s death and isolating yourself from your friends isn’t the way to go.

Talk with your GP about going to bereavement counselling.
Talk with your employer about getting some compassionate leave.

Sooner or later everyone will be going through what you’re going through, you’re not alone, and you need to talk about this before you’re relationships are damaged by your understandable grief and anger.

Your mam wouldn’t want you to shoulder this alone - ask for help. Start with your GP and your employer.

Good luck with it, and again, sorry for your loss.

Sally ...it's different in Ireland than the UK.

Welsh Poppy, I think he’s made his mind up that he won’t, (if he’s for real).
It’s all very odd and, like others, I am doubting it more and more! Might just be someone with time on their hands just trying to get attention. So, I for one, am out of here!

I think you've got to get over it.

Seansean

Olderme ...I didn't tell my wife how I felt about my workmates not turning up

And yet, you are happy telling a bunch of complete strangers! I think that in itself is weird.
Unless you are posting this just to get some attention, I think you are dwelling far too much on your loss and not nearly enough on your immediate family. Workmates are just that. They are not friends, not in the main.
You are a middle-aged man behaving like child who’s whining that nobody loves them! My patience is exhausted now. You have a wife and three children. Concentrate on them instead of you!

Please don't post any personal experiences, Gransnetters.

I’m beginning to think this thread might be a joke at grans expense. It sounds bizarre.

MollyNew you and me both!

When you describe your work colleagues as friends do you see them out of work, go to the pub or a meal with them for example? If not they are just that - work colleagues who you are friendly with at work. There is a difference and however sad you are about your mother's death you shouldn't really expect colleagues to attend her funeral.

The longer this thread goes on, the more I think Seansean could be misleading us by just giving us small pieces of information at various intervals. He initially focused so much on his feelings of isolation but today says that he doesn't have friends and prefers his own company. If so, why would it bother him so much that his colleagues are not behaving like close friends?

Also, he now says he is married with children. Is his wife supportive? What about his children? How have they coped with losing their grandmother?

Many of us have now given advice and I don't want to appear harsh but I am beginning to have doubts about aspects of this situation.

Olderme ...I didn't tell my wife how I felt about my workmates not turning up