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Bereavement

RIP Himself 💙

(239 Posts)
FriedGreenTomatoes2 Sun 22-Feb-26 17:30:02

My darling husband of 52 years died in the hospice yesterday afternoon.

My heart is broken today.

This bravest of men suffered dreadfully with progression of his oesophageal cancer these last 10 months I can’t begin to tell you what he had to endure.

He was admitted to the Christie early in January and thence by ambulance to hospice for his last two weeks of life. I stayed by his side for this past month, sleeping in a recliner chair by his bedside.

My overwhelming emotion at present is relief that he has been released from his struggle. He had 3 oesophageal stents in situ. I am glad that he wasn’t in any pain at the end of his life.

That was always his biggest fear and I’m so grateful he was at least spared that fate.

He once promised me, months ago now, that when he died he was going to “take all this sadness with me and leave you to the joy of living”.

I’m holding you to that promise my most brave and valiant man. My life will never be the same, I will miss you so very much, but I will try my very best to stay strong ~ as you urged me be. 💕

Thank you to all who have kept us in your hearts and prayers during this pilgrimage. I’ve read GN most days and know how blessed I have been to have so much outpouring of friendship and love. I’ve been quite humbled to be honest. Xxx

Gelisajams Mon 23-Feb-26 16:36:44

Sincere condolences FGT .Hold fast to Himself’s words. 💐

friendlygingercat Mon 23-Feb-26 16:33:04

Sorry for your loss

Badgergran Mon 23-Feb-26 16:31:17

Very sorry for your loss. Sending love and hugs to you and your family.

Wheniwasyourage Mon 23-Feb-26 16:29:02

So sad to hear your news, FGT. Sending virtual hugs and best wishes. flowers

Chestnut Mon 23-Feb-26 16:09:56

I was so sad to hear your news. Sending deepest condolences and best wishes. 💐🌹💌🙏

ClicketyClick Mon 23-Feb-26 16:07:03

I'm so very sorry to read that you've lost your soulmate. Your love and support that you gave o Himself has always shone through on your posts. You couldn't have done any more or anything better so please be gentle on yourself. Sincere condolences to you and your wider circle.

hulahoop Mon 23-Feb-26 15:53:07

In sorry to see that himself died yesterday ,I never met you both but it was obvious from your posts how close you were .Take care of yourself it's what he wanted you to do 🌸

fiorentina51 Mon 23-Feb-26 15:13:17

So sorry for your loss. I hope you have the support of family and friends at this difficult time. 💐

Maria59 Mon 23-Feb-26 14:51:59

My deepest sympathy to you. He always knew he was loved very much. thanks

Nell82 Mon 23-Feb-26 13:50:17

With deepest sympathy FGT

sukie Mon 23-Feb-26 13:31:47

So sorry for your loss FGT flowers

Hithere Mon 23-Feb-26 13:29:17

My condolences for your loss

Suederlou Mon 23-Feb-26 13:21:34

So very sorry for your sad loss. X

nightowl Mon 23-Feb-26 13:05:31

I’m so sorry to hear this FGT and send my sincere condolences to you and your family. Your love for your DH shines through, you have been a tower of strength for him. May you find peace now xx

Whiff Mon 23-Feb-26 13:01:42

FGT I am sorry words don't really mean anything. But know you are not alone . The moment the love of your life took his last breath you lost half of yourself. As together you made a whole . For 52 you where husband and wife . But so much more than that . You where eachothers other half together you made a whole . He was the only person who knew the real you and you where the only person who knew the real him . In a second you went from being a couple to being classed as not just a widow but single and it's horrible.

My husband died 22 years ago aged 47. But I am still his wife and still married . That will never change .

I know you just want to curl up in a ball and shut the world out . You probably thought this morning what's the point of washing ,brushing your teeth or getting dressed but you have to because your husband would want you to go on living . Plus the fact not only do you just want grieve unfortunately with a death of a spouse or partner there is all the phone calls ,paperwork you have to do straight away . I only wish someone had told me all this when after watching my husband die before my eyes for 3 years and the just short of the 4 months he was given when he became terminal . I thought at 45 I had to brave for everyone else I was a fool.

Bone crushing grief not only hurts physically but mentally. You cry so much your eyes string and your chest hurts. You don't want to eat or even drink but you have to . Like my husband yours was suffering and they needed to die but it's so hard . I told my husband to stop struggling and we would be ok. But there never is an okay .

If we didn't love them we couldn't grieve . I know these words won't help you know but hopefully in a few weeks . But we are the lucky ones we found the other half of ourselves some people live their whole lives and never know what we had .

I can't say your grief will get easier or lesson but given months even years you learn to cope . But the love and grief never dies. In my experience grief only gets worse as the years go by as my husband has missed so much .

Unfortunately people with disappear from your life especially after the funeral . And that's hard. But you will find the people who truly love and care about you .

Never fight your tears and if you have something of your husbands sleep with it . It will help especially if it smells of him .

Love never dies . 🌹

Tenko Mon 23-Feb-26 12:30:01

FGT I’m sorry for your loss . I’ve only just logged on today and seen your post . Sending much sympathy to you and your family 💐

Elusivebutterfly Mon 23-Feb-26 11:51:40

I am very sorry for your loss.

EVEOHA2602 Mon 23-Feb-26 11:30:54

Prayers for you and your Family - may he rest in eternal peace 🙏🏽☘️❤️

Mollygo Mon 23-Feb-26 10:57:06

Deepest sympathy to you all. I’m glad you were able to be with your DH till the end. ❤️

vena11 Mon 23-Feb-26 10:25:35

So sorry to hear this xxx

Lona Mon 23-Feb-26 10:21:06

I’m so sad for you, sending love and deepest sympathy 💜

Roses Mon 23-Feb-26 10:20:19

FGT. I am so sorry you have lost your lovely man,
I have thought about you everyday since you told us he was ill
Be kind to yourself and wrap yourself in the loving blanket of your family and friends

Granniesunite Mon 23-Feb-26 09:26:58

“They whom we love and lose are no longer where they were before they are now wherever we are”

My condolences to you and the family.

Kalu Mon 23-Feb-26 09:17:53

To lose not only your darling man but your best friend is a double blow dear friend. You fought so bravely alongside him, always there for him.

My heart breaks for you.
Much love ❤️

Tizliz Mon 23-Feb-26 08:55:40

nothing we can say will make it better but hope it helps knowing we are all thinking of you.