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Bereavement

Death admin

(11 Posts)
Pia56 Thu 18-Jun-26 12:38:54

Hi, everyone. I recently lost someone very close to me, and I'm now having to deal with the paperwork and admin side of things. Finding it quite overwhelming and just wondering if anyone else has experienced this? If so, how did you deal with it? Thanks in advance.

Mandy45 Thu 18-Jun-26 12:47:32

Hi l am so sorry for your loss. I lost my parents 4&5 years ago and sorting their estate out was overwhelming at times, while grieving.
I found that having a note book and writing down everything that needed doing, I tried to put everything in order of priority, then crossed it off when done. Try not to do too much at the same time. I found focusing on each thing individually rather than all at once helped me.

tanith Thu 18-Jun-26 12:49:07

First i got together all the relevant paperwork i made a list of banks,pensions,utilities,insurances etc. Is there a will? Family that need informing? Property?
I dealt with the bank first then worked through the list informing people, finding out if there are outstanding bills to be paid.
Its a lot to consider but if you are methodical you will get through it.

Jaxjacky Thu 18-Jun-26 12:57:11

Look into Tell Us Once you can notify government departments - pensions, benefits etc in one go.
I wish you luck and my condolences.

Tuliptree Thu 18-Jun-26 13:24:45

Yes to getting it all together first and then writing a prioritised list. To avoid getting overwhelmed, I had a target of two tasks a day. I grouped the tasks in the different categories - financial, personal etc

jusnoneed Thu 18-Jun-26 13:25:35

Sorry to hear of your loss.
Ageuk as a good check list of what to do when someone dies.

I did all the paperwork when my Dad passed away a few years ago, managed to get it all sorted fairly easily. Did the Probate myself. Used the Tell us Once service and made personal visits to bank/BS. My only difficulty was proving who I was, I do not have any form of photo ID. But got that solved and plain sailing then.
Cleared house, sold it then settled utilities and finally sorted his will. All done in 6 months. Kept a notebook of all transactions.

Iam64 Thu 18-Jun-26 13:33:43

The admin after my husbands death was very stressful. I completed the tell Me Once forms but frankly it was chaotic. Phoning the DPP like a dark comedy. Id phone, the line would be answered a recorded message would tell me how busy they were, I’d hold on and wait 15 or 20 mins for the call to be answered. On several occasions I was told I’d called the wrong department, no id say, I have my lap t open and this is the correct number. No, it’s changed you’ll have to find the right number

So, I kept two hours in the morning clear to work through my to do list. I did the admin when my parents died easily. My husband’s was more of a challenge despite us having done a good plan

Farzanah Thu 18-Jun-26 13:34:46

Lots of good advice here. I am dealing with my late mother’s estate and have found the bank bereavement services on line very helpful. My mother’s local branch didn’t want to know, said all bereavement services now on line.
I have engaged a solicitor to deal with Probate as the Will is not very straightforward.
I agree, it is hard dealing with paperwork and grieving too.
Why not get a good friend or relative you trust to help?

MT62 Thu 18-Jun-26 13:37:38

Jaxjacky

Look into Tell Us Once you can notify government departments - pensions, benefits etc in one go.
I wish you luck and my condolences.

This. Don’t forget subscriptions. Library membership, gym membership, etc, they don’t do all that.

eddiecat78 Thu 18-Jun-26 13:39:40

When dealing with my father's estate I found it helpful to have a detailed notebook listing dates and information every time I contacted someone or they contacted me- including names etc of everyone I spoke with. Then marked as "completed" when it was. It helped me keep track of everything. It's very easy to have a phone conversation with someone and then 2 weeks later forget all the details.
Also unless you are the sole beneficiary keep a note of ALL the expenses you incur. You might think this doesn't matter but they will mount up. You cannot charge for tine you spend but you can for postage, mileage etc

Cabbie21 Thu 18-Jun-26 14:11:50

It is hard work.
As well as the usual stuff, my DH had all sorts of subscriptions, some not easy to trace as all records were online. A couple which I only discovered after a few months were paid for via PayPal but I had already closed that account. It took a huge number of messages and calls to sort it all out. I kept his phone and email accounts open for several months to make sure nothing was missed.

On a lighter note, when the time came to sell his two ipads and two mobiles which were still fairly new, my grandson, then 18, came with me to the shop, Cex, which buys and sells such things. He said, “ We’ll go together, Granny. If you go on your own, they might try and rip you off. If I go alone, they’ll think I stole them.”