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Growing old disgracefully (win a copy of Virginia Ironside's new book)

(154 Posts)
Carigransnet (GNHQ) Tue 29-Jan-13 11:46:12

We've been enjoying Virginia's latest novel (No! I Don't Need Reading Glasses!) - a book (and we quote) "which shows that getting on a bit does not mean giving up or even growing up".

Virginia has also taken to the stage recently with her one-woman show Growing Old we thought we'd nick borrow that idea for a thread and see what tips gransnetters have. As her publishers have kindly offered 5 copies of the book to give away (RRP £14.99) we've asked Virginia to pick her favourites and we will send one to each winner. You can (obviously) contribute to this thread any time but the competition element will close at midday on Tues 5 Feb.

jeni Tue 29-Jan-13 11:49:20

Does decking my mobility scooter with red and green fairy lights on the appropriate port and starboard sides for the Christmas dinner on board the Queen Elizabeth count?

Riverwalk Tue 29-Jan-13 11:52:06

Avoid Elderflower cordial, go for the wine smile

HildaW Tue 29-Jan-13 11:59:13

I've succombed to reading glasses, comfy shoes and 'proper' trousers. But, I will not give up a really good and deeply sensual perfume. It has surprised several folks over the years. They get a nosefull and end up blurting out...'gosh I like your perfume'. Of late its been Michael Korrs or Elie Saab!

j07 Tue 29-Jan-13 12:02:20

I'm not sure there are any up-sides to growing old. It is just that - growing old. And it is a total bummer. It is made up, much of the time, of tiredness, guilt, perhaps regrets, and depression. Any attempts at being "disgraceful" are, I think, purely cosmetic.

So I will follow this thread with interest. To see if I can pick up any useful hints.

j07 Tue 29-Jan-13 12:04:23

Meantime, I will get on my exercise bike and try to shake things up a bit. smile

gracesmum Tue 29-Jan-13 12:05:13

Do not merely seek the company of people of your own age and outlook - being with younger people may remind you of your calendar age, but it will also keep you young at heart.

Movedalot Tue 29-Jan-13 12:13:53

Lots of things to do:

1 Write a bucket list and then see how many things you can tick off
2 Join Gransnet and you will find there are lots of people worse off than you so be grateful
3 Take up some kind of exercise you have never done before. Gym and pilates for me and I'm fitter than I ever was.
4 Make a point of surprising your children on a regular basis, don't let them get complacent!
5 If you like wearing something but others think you are 'our age' wear whatever it is with pride! I love tarty high heals and wear them whenever I can. I won't shop in our local ladies outfitters, just the name makes me feel old!
6 If you can, travel. Book on impulse, much more fun than planning 6 months in advance. We booked to go to Hong Kong to see our son about a week before we went and decided we might as well go on to India while we were half way round the world. Had a great time.
7 Don't let your husband get old, make it a project - it works.

I'll stop now before boring you.

j07 Tue 29-Jan-13 12:15:13

What about the bunions. And falling over?

j07 Tue 29-Jan-13 12:16:06

That was re Movedalot's No. 5.

gracesmum Tue 29-Jan-13 12:21:48

High heels absolute no no for people with back trouble - better flatties and a smiling face than "smart" shoes which cripple you. Just look at the expression on Victoria Beckham's face to see what I mean!grin

Mey Tue 29-Jan-13 12:22:18

Growing older can be a good thing, you are wiser for a start although no use to you yourself as it is usually too late but useful to others

There is a kind of wisdom though that it useful to yourself and that is, as we get older we realise that worrying about the little things is not wise and age does bring with it knowledge of life skills which are very useful.

My whole family have the attitude that we will never get old,

Let me give you an example please if I may--My Dad was feeling quite lonely and as I was a volunteer for Age concern at the time I offered to take him with me to get to meet other people his age, As we entered Age concern he stood at the door, took one look around and said Hayley these people are old!!!! he was quite upset that I had brought him here and had a quick cup of tea with his held held down the whole time then left.

This is the attitude that my whole family have. It works for us.

j07 Tue 29-Jan-13 12:22:41

I would like to make it clear, I am relying on the symnpathy vote here.

Ana Tue 29-Jan-13 12:22:54

And she's got bunions - at her age! shock

j07 Tue 29-Jan-13 12:23:28

That is a dreadful attitude Mey!

Mey Tue 29-Jan-13 12:24:00

Although I am diffferent in that I DO like to mix with people of my own age to share certain things that you can not share with younger people as they would simply not understand.

And I like to speak of old times and old ways and old music ets.

j07 Tue 29-Jan-13 12:24:38

Sorry Mey - it will happen.

And it won't be a bed of roses.

Mey Tue 29-Jan-13 12:25:16

Why jo7

Mey Tue 29-Jan-13 12:26:25

Oh ok but my Dad did really well until he died, he looked still quite good he walked every were there was not one thinh he could not do he died at 77

j07 Tue 29-Jan-13 12:26:54

Your dad with his head down, not wanting to look at old people.

Mey Tue 29-Jan-13 12:31:23

Ah yes that was a bit strong I agreeeee But it was just him he had a FEAR of getting old and being de creppied

I love beong around people my own age and usually alot older, for some reason I feel a sense of calm

Riverwalk Tue 29-Jan-13 12:34:48

Gracesmum I hate the phrase 'young at heart' - sounds so desperate grin

Moved you're so right about keeping hubby young - my ex used to say 'I'm not getting any younger' when he was in in 40s! Drove me bonkers.

Mey your father's reaction to the Age Concern event reminded me of my mother, now 85, when she was 80 and in hospital she referred to the patient in the next bed as 'the old lady'! I think most of us don't see ourselves as others do.

j07 Tue 29-Jan-13 12:37:21

My DH is at the moment in his shed playing with his aeroplanes making a new model aeroplane.

No worries about keeping him young. hmm wink

HildaW Tue 29-Jan-13 12:41:16

Mey, your dear Dad sounds just like my darling Grandma. She broke her hip in her 70s and was in hospital for a while much to her annoyance. I can remember visiting her, she was sat up in bed looking very grumpy and demanded that we organise her discharge as soon as possible. 'I'm fed up of being in here with all these old dears' she said.
Needless to say she made a full recovery and lived another good 10 years eventually passing away very peacefully after a hearty Sunday lunch.

Attitudes to age are so important. I am nearly 60 and my very healthy still working husband in in his late 60s. We went on our first Saga cruise last year and had a wonderful time. We met some fascinating people many who were much older and often frailer than us but they lived full lives and made us feel very very young. By contrast someone on Saga's website commented that he went on a Saga cruise for the first time and was very upset by how many really old and infirm people there were, and they made him feel ancient! Its all in the attitude!.

Movedalot Tue 29-Jan-13 12:42:53

j07 no bunions and I only fall over when not in the UK (long story!) grin