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DGD hates reading

(96 Posts)
CorneliaStreet Wed 13-May-20 07:32:00

This may be a wrong topic to post in, but I'd really appreciate your advice on how did you personally understand that you enjoy reading? What book was the one that took you away? How do I explain to my DGD (10) that reading is not about stumbling through the letters? She just enjoys the movies and she will never open the book even if she likes the movie based on it.

ElaineI Wed 13-May-20 20:12:10

DD2 was like this. She was diagnosed late at uni with similar to dyslexia but not exactly. She had a problem with understanding/figuring out sentences which were written and also writing down an essay but could fully understand when things were spoken and she could speak an essay with great competency. It was a bit late for uni as in 3rd year but very interesting.
It is the same now aged 31 but she enjoys a variety of books from Audible and can access lectures etc which are spoken for professional development.
Sorry that sounds muddled but hope it helps. There are other similar conditions to dyslexia that could be considered. DD2 is left handed too but I don't think that is part of it.

SirChenjin Wed 13-May-20 20:10:51

If reading for fun brings about many benefits it does why on earth wouldn’t a parent or grandparent encourage it? Exercise, the arts, IT skills, the arts, active behaviour, cooking etc etc - you don’t force them on children obviously, but they all bring about their own benefits in their own way, and cutting one out completely means that children lose out on those benefits.

notanan2 Wed 13-May-20 20:02:33

Exercise helps the brain as well as the body. Especially outdoor exercise

If you're already literate, reading isnt the only mental workout out there.

Just as not everyone needs to do the exact same physical exercise, not everyone needs to broaden their minds the exact same way.

Once learning/literacy issues are ruled out, there is no need to read for fun (and the book Im reading at the moment definitely isnt going to improve anyones intelligence ? but its fun, for me )

MissAdventure Wed 13-May-20 19:56:46

Exercise improves fitness levels, but not everyone is a fan, however much others enjoy it.

SirChenjin Wed 13-May-20 19:41:01

Yes there are - reading improves your literacy levels in a way that just looking at art doesn’t. Loads of stuff on research into the benefits of reading on The Reading Agency’s website.

notanan2 Wed 13-May-20 18:36:38

Some kids read non school books to relax. For others that would be a busman's holiday.

There are no benefits to reading that you dont get from loving listening to music or looking at art (both of which you do when you watch movies). You learn now things, relax, get moved etc etc.

For example with Hunger Games, which I think FWIW should be on the national curriculum, the movies raises the same thought provoking questions about propoganda, the media and human nature as the books.

You also get the beautiful soundtrack with the movies. And theyre less violent than the books (the last book anyway).

SirChenjin Wed 13-May-20 18:21:46

I’m not saying that’s going to fire a love of reading of course, just that it helps to make reading less educational and forced.

SirChenjin Wed 13-May-20 18:20:29

No they aren’t notanan but that obviously wasn’t my point, which was a mix of things outside of the structure of school is a good thing to aim for. The books that I was forced to read at school did nothing to fire my love of reading - having the choice of reading material, being able to choose when and for how long I read for, that’s what did it for me.

Hemelbelle Wed 13-May-20 18:06:33

I struggled to read when I was younger. I found Enid Blyton books accessible and they got me hooked, at about the same age that your granddaughter is now. Malory Towers (there is currently a brilliant series on CBBC / i player) The Famous Five and Secret Seven. From finding reading (and writing) hard, I developed a life long love of reading including many of the classics.

allium Wed 13-May-20 17:38:20

I feel for any child that finds reading difficult. I was dyslexic, I have a grandson that is, although as previously mentioned amazing motor skills and very smart when it comes to most other things. I too remember being labelled as backward and being given books like What Katy Did to read, l still don't know what its about. I seem to remember teaching myself to read via TV and films and then getting the book, eventually working my way up to Open University stuff.

Lupin Wed 13-May-20 17:35:18

Some people are readers and some don't take to it. I come from a family who didn't read much but I have always read avidly. One of my children does the same and the other, like your granddaughter preferred other activities, although she was always a competent reader and has done well in life. She is a geological scientist and engineer with a specialism in nuclear issues and environmental protection. Although she didn't read books often she enjoyed being read to.
Has anyone in the family ever read to her? Sometimes an exciting story can fire the imagination and encourage her to read on to find out what happens. Does she belong to a library where she can find fiction books, or even non fiction books about things she is interested in. For example - horse and pony stories if she likes to ride, Some of the classic stories like Heidi or The Silver Sword, What Katy Did, or Goodnight Mr Tom, Roald Dahl books, if read to her may fire her interest.

notanan2 Wed 13-May-20 17:34:28

What can’t one or two hours of PE a week count as their exercise? In fact, why do anything outside of school?

If they were at outdoor sports college doing hours of sports every day or at boarding school where they do a couple of hours sport every day, I would definitely count it!

They are not just reading an hour or two a week at school..

rowyn Wed 13-May-20 17:16:22

Well, notanan2 you have completely misunderstood me. Fortunately when I was working as a child psychologist most parents were glad of my help and advice. Not all, of course, cos I'm by far from perfect!

BlueBelle Wed 13-May-20 16:57:01

Your grand daughter could be dyslexic My granddaughter can read perfectly well as good as anyone else but at 98% dyslexic she struggles to enjoy reading She is in the A stream for everything except languages but has never read a book through, it is just too much hard work that it takes the enjoyment of the book away The hard work in reading a page of words, loses the pleasure and meaning of the story
As a younger child she use to go to sleep listening to story tapes or having a story read to her
Her Mum and my other daughter and myself were all avid readers however my son would never read a book I bought him everything under the sun and the best he managed was the Guinness book of records and the argos catalogues however he is senior management in an engineering firm and earns more than both the girls put together
Don’t worry too much, reading should be a pleasure and if it’s not there’s many other ways of gaining information

MissAdventure Wed 13-May-20 16:41:26

I think it's absolutely fine for anyone at all to have their own likes and preferences.

As long as she is able to read, it's fine.

Loislovesstewie Wed 13-May-20 16:19:03

My other adult child is both dyslexic and dyspraxic , sometimes children hide these issues. They get by in reading and are dismissed as just being clumsy. But once diagnosed and getting the right help they will often thrive. I think it's important to check that the child is actually 'reading' rather than just memorizing if that makes sense.

SirChenjin Wed 13-May-20 16:15:43

Why cant that count as her reading for the day?

What can’t one or two hours of PE a week count as their exercise? In fact, why do anything outside of school?

trisher Wed 13-May-20 15:52:46

felice has your GS been tested for dyspraxia? It's a lack of physical skills and coordination. Can he do things like ride a bike, throw and catch a ball-large motor skills or draw, sew or write-fine motor skills? If he has problems with any of those things it may be a problem. One of my DS began using a keyboard when he was about 10 because his written work was so far behind his mental ability. It might be worthwhile looking at this.

Bluecat Wed 13-May-20 15:48:01

My husband is a normal, intelligent person but he never reads. In the 45 years that I have known him, he has read one book, a non-fiction account of the Shiwa Ngandu estate in Zambia. He was interested because he saw Michael Palin visit it. He says that Treasure Island is his favourite book. As far as I can make out, it was the only book he ever read when he was at school in Uganda.

I taught both of our girls to read before they went to school, and neither had any difficulties. Elder DD is a voracious reader. Younger DD read a lot when they didn't have a TV, but has now succumbed to the lure of films. She only reads occasionally. I don't know why they are different. Both have been fluent readers since they were tiny, both are imaginative, so why does one read lots and the other reads little?

I don't think you can push it. A reluctant reader as a child may very well change and become keen. (Adults are less likely to change. I have bought my DH books I thought would interest him. They are untouched. I adore books - never thought I would marry a non-reader!)

My dad, who taught reading to so-called "backward" children, said that it didn't matter what kids read. Let them read comics. The important thing is for them to enjoy reading.

Yep, slow learners were called "backward" in the 60s. Dad was the local treasurer of the Guild of Teachers of Backward Children. It wasn't considered offensive.

AJKW Wed 13-May-20 15:39:31

I hated reading as a child. My hate of reading came about after my reception teacher tried to make me write with my right hand when I was left handed, it caused no end of problems. If only my teacher realised the problems she was causing, and tbh in later life the only left handed problem I’ve had is with tin openers.

Loislovesstewie Wed 13-May-20 15:38:15

My son has an ASD, he will not read novels but will read factual books, however he will listen to an audio book. When he tries to read novels he says they sound 'flat' but he loves the drama of an audio book. Perhaps that might be the key to loving books.

notanan2 Wed 13-May-20 15:33:37

Five minutes a day of skimming through a comic on a topic they enjoy still counts as reading.

10yr olds to FAR more than 5 mins of reading as a basic requirement. More like 5 hours at school. (or whatever is being set for them during home school) Why cant that count as her reading for the day?

notanan2 Wed 13-May-20 15:31:16

Reading g is linked with higher levels of literacy and good mental health

But so is listening to / playing music. And exercise, and conversation. Lots of things.

reading isnt the only way to flex the brain and broaden the mind

At 10 she will (usually) spend hours a day reading and writing. Its not as if she's not reading because she is, 5 days a week! (usually).

If she doesnt want to read as well during her relaxing time thats okay.

Book worms arent always great all rounders either. They might not like sport or they be shy at conversation.

celebrate her strengths and let her be

SirChenjin Wed 13-May-20 15:24:59

Reading g is linked with higher levels of literacy and good mental health so I do think it’s important to encourage it. My son loves me reading to him although he’d rather cut his own arm off than pick up a book, so one of the things we’ve rediscovered is a love of snuggling up together while I read him one of the comic book stories he loves. I’ve just ordered him a BMX magazine - he’s obsessed with BMX bikes at the moment - and I’ll read that to him too. It’s not an either/or - it’s about acknowledging that reading is important for a number of reasons and encouraging it as covertly as is possible so that it’s not seen as reading=boring as such.

It’s like saying healthy eating or exercise isn’t my child’s thing, therefore I won’t encourage them to do it. The way to encourage it is to make it fun and manageable for them in a way that suits them. Five minutes a day of skimming through a comic on a topic they enjoy still counts as reading.

notanan2 Wed 13-May-20 15:07:02

I totally disagree notanan2. My whole point was that you SHOULDN'T make an issue of it. Sorry if I explained that incredibly badly!

Making her time with her nannie about trying to make her like things she doesnt like by reading to her, going to book shops IS making an issue of it even if you think doing it that way is subtle as a brick

It's akin to gifting a tom boy a frilly dress.

Have fun with her and engage in HER interests to show she is good enough for you as she is.