Home care package for 92 year old father

Hi Where do you live as i know of a company that helps you search for carers for free?

The irony is that this is exactly what has happened to me 130 miles from Dad. I was diagnosed with one fracture in my foot and after 7 weeks in plaster was told all was well and sent on my merry way. About 7 weeks of nil mobility later it was found that the first fracture had not healed and that I had a second undiagnosed fracture which was also unhealed + previously undiagnosed tendon damage.

It is spooky that these two things have been happening together - which is why I am doubly angry.

I do not know what we will do about Dad - like most people we do not want to make a fuss and feel sufficiently beset with problems at present that we find it hard to find the energy to make any more fuss.

The real concern is that prior to this new diagnosis, they were lugging him about, making him sit out in spite of the pain, getting him to walk when he was yelling in pain. Now they say he needs to be in bed to heal -although I realise that this carries its own health problems.

I just feel so sad that he has been through all this and we have felt powerless to help him. Maybe we will complain when we feel a bit less beset.

ABC - it would be good to know the name of this company; although he did have a previous care package that we managed to sort out and we hope that if/when he is able to go home, they will be able to reinstate this.

Oh, Mishap , on top of all your other problems too. It's a real emotional roller coaster isn't it. My mum is still in hospital - nearly 5 weeks now. What we thought was pain from her badly arthritic knee collapsing turned out to be sciatica which then led them to scan her back and find a large tumour in her stomach. One large dose of radiotherapy didn't do much for her and it's been decided nothing more can be done as it's too advanced. Her prognosis has changed daily and getting any sort of advise or see a consultant is nigh on impossible. At least now we have a cancer diagnosis which opens doors to help such as the MacMillan and Marie Curie nurses.

Now we have to stand firm. She wants to buy a flat in a housing with care complex so she can still die in her own home with her things around her. The hospital and social services want her to go into a care home with nursing. We had a look but it looks like God's waiting room and she doesn't want that. Luckily for us the independent living care home is being very supportive.

nfk don't forget AA under the special rules!

I now know about that but I believe I may need a consulant to say she has less than six months to live and that is proving difficult to pin them down.

No! A Macmillan nurse can do it!

* NfkDumpling * - I am so sorry about your mother.

It is worth looking around as there are some very good homes - there are bad ones too I know only too well - but some have wonderful dedicated staff, and people can have their own things around them.

MacMillan and Marie Curie are wonderful and I hope very much that they will come up trumps for you.

Or her GP or I would think a junior doctor who is treating her. You need , I think it's still, a DS 115.? Signed. They may have changed the name.

Nfk You have my sympathy.

Please be very careful if you go down the assisted care route because the emphasis is on independant living and the staff might not be trained for full nursing care. Staff dash in and out performing necessary tasks as quickly as possible and delivering meals but family members are supposed to provide all the back up a resident might need. In my case it means all mum's washing, shopping, cleaning and even changing lightbulbs. I now visit every day to liquidise mum's meals and encourage her to eat. If I didn't do that the food would just be left in front of her which would mean she would go hungry. We now have support from the GP and District Nurse but it's a very worrying and often lonely responsibility.

I would find out exactly how much support they intend to give to your mother when she needs palliative care.

The housing with care is local but not tooo close which will be useful, and brand new replacing an old home with an excellent reputation - all the staff have moved over. There is a structured care plan which will suit mum as she'll know when the carers are coming. 1.5 hours of domestic help are included and there's a handyman who'll deal with light bulbs / tap washers and stuff like that. Laundry is also included in the service charge. If / when things get really bad she can move to the nursing care home which is next door. Distict nurses, OTs and physio are also based there. It sounds better than I expect it'll turn out to be but that's normal isn't it!

Hi I work as a live in carer and I was fully vetted and had crbchecks and in total 5 interviews and a weeks intensive training. I would always recommend working for an agency as then you have the security andbacking should any thing go wrong.
In my case if I am asked to consider a placement theclient or family are given a detailed profile of me with a photographic have on occasions met with the families before hand..
At the end of the day kindness and a caring nature are the most important things when you're looking for a carer,honesty and a clean tidy manner and a respect for others is parMount

My late father slipped off the bed at home and afterwards found it too painful to stand. Then the GP decided my mother and the twice daily carer couldn't look after him adequately so he was admitted to hospital and six days later they found out he had broken his hip. No family nearer than 150 miles away and only when we visited the second time did they diagnose the fracture and then only because we kept wanting to know why he suddenly couldn't bear weight on his right leg. Then he got pneumonia and that was the end. The carer, from a private agency, was a lovely girl who was really upset when he died. mishap.

MISHAP I would still report the nurses because an apology is not good enough. The truth of the matter is that most probably this is the norm for them to treat patinents in this way and as you sooo rightly said pity for those who do not have families fighting their corner.

The reason this kind of behaviour is allowed to continue is nor British people do not like to complain!!!

I feel for those vulnerable old people that have come to the end of their lives to be treated in this way, your poor Dad deserves MUCH better than to be left feeling cold and naked.

So here's the latest......they managed to get his pain under control in the end, and the day before yesterday they transferred him to a community hospital for rehabilitation.

The transfer was in an ambulance and a journey that should have taken 20 minutes took 4 HOURS, as they went all round the Wrekin delivering others to various places. So.....a 92 year old man with a number of fractures in his pelvis and a catheter is driven around (presumably sitting up - when he has been nursed in bed for the last 5 weeks) for four hours in a full ambulance.

Tonight I have rung Dad on his mobile and my sister replied - she is at the hospital with him and he is not at all well. When she arrived at the hospital my sister had to point out to the staff that he was looking unwell and very obviously had a temperature. They are getting the doctor to him now - he is on a GP unit. I could not speak to him as he is not lucid and is coughing badly - and there is a problem with his catheter.

Presumably he has acquired an infection in transit.

What can they have been thinking of?

If he is carried off by a chest infection now after all he has been through I will be furious.

I am totally sick of it all.

Mishap I can't believe what your father has had to go through. You and your sister must be completely shattered. What has happened to compassion? When I heard Jeremy Hunt on the news tonight saying hospitals must get better at their targets but offering no new resources I got so angry I was shouting at the television. Pointless I know but it really disgusting that people can't get thoughtful and compassionate care! to you. You must feel so helpless despite all your best efforts to make things better.

These damned targets - presumably here was some target relating to the ambulance services and the most efficient use of cash. Piling a load of sick people in one ambulance and trailing them round the countryside probably did save on staff costs - but not on the cost of picking up the pieces.

And as for compassion and humanity.....

After a 3 hour wait, Dad saw a doctor. Thankfully Dad's chest is clear (although he has a cough) and the high temp is thought to be his waterworks so he is now on an antibiotic.

Not well enough for rehab.

Can't see him getting back home any time soon - not until absence of bowel and bladder control is sorted. Poor old chap.

Mishap you and your Dad

Mishap Words fail me. I feel so very sorry for you and your family. Your Dad deserves BETTER.

He certainly does soop - these guys fooght in the war for our freedom and now look at them.

Have just had very kind offer from DD2 to accompany me down to Devon to see Dad - it has been playing on my mind that I cannot get down there.

Mishap Yes! Accept DD2's kind offer.

If you need a stop off I'm only 5mins off junction on M5 Gordano!

Mishap, I'm seeing red on your behalf. This government gives 'service' a whole new meaning.

It is all a great shame, as I am sure there are places where the NHS is providing a good service (probably in spite of rather than because of teh management structures) but we have been a bit unlucky just recently.

Galen your kind offer is much appreciated.

Latest update:

Dad went into hospital a fit man, who rarely saw the doctor, with a fractured pelvis (several fractures we are told).

He is now a very sick man: he is on intravenous antibiotics for an undiagnosed chest infection; he cannot pee and has a permnanent catheter; he is intermittently faecally incontinent; he is bleeding from his bladder. It seems to be all downhill.

Over a week ago my sister went in and had to ask the nurses to take his temperature as he was flushed and confused. Three hours later a doctor saw him and said his chest was clear (in spite of his bad cough) and that he had a urinary tract infection - he was given just 2 days of antibiotics.

Yesterday it was all re-enacted.......my sister had to ask them to take his temperature as he was so ill, flushed, dozy etc. They said they had taken it 7 hours ago and it was fine. She persisted and they complied. He had a very high fever. Another 3 hour wait and a doc diagnosed a chest infection.

What happens to patients who have no visitors?

He went in a fit man with a fracture and he is now very sick. It is very sad.