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Mum is being moved tomorrow. Wish me luck!

(51 Posts)
merlotgran Wed 10-Apr-13 21:48:11

Mum's assessment went well today and tomorrow she is being moved into a Nursing Care Home. I'm relieved that she will finally get the care she needs (hopefully) but I know she is going to be very distressed when it finally happens.

It has all been done and dusted very quickly which is good but I've had an exhausting week so I'll be glad when tomorrow is over.

Fingers crossed.

Mishap Wed 10-Apr-13 21:51:21

I am so pleased that things are getting sorted out - and above all else I hope very much that you will be able to relax, secure in the knowledge that she is being well cared-for. Do let us know how it goes.

grannyactivist Wed 10-Apr-13 21:54:56

merlot I do hope that this time tomorrow you can sit back with a wine or brew and a smile on your face. flowers

glassortwo Wed 10-Apr-13 21:59:45

merlot this time tomorrow you will have your Mum settled and you can relax. flowers

merlotgran Wed 10-Apr-13 22:25:27

Thanks, Mishap, ga and glass.

Mum was asked the usual questions to determine her level of dementia. The woman asked, 'Do you know which former prime minister has just died?' I thought, Here we go.

Mum's reply, 'Of course I do and she was the best prime minister this country ever had. She put this country back on its feet, etc., etc., (you can imagine the rest - it went on for quite a while)

The woman obviously didn't share mum's opinion and seemed to be wondering whether to bother with the next question. I couldn't help saying, 'Well, you did ask!' grin

She didn't remember what she had for lunch though!!

Ana Wed 10-Apr-13 22:32:34

smile merlot. How unintentionally topical as well! It does sound as though the right decision has been made, and that must be a great weight off your shoulders. I do hope your Mum settles well in her new home.

merlotgran Wed 10-Apr-13 22:45:07

Thanks Ana smile

Ella46 Wed 10-Apr-13 23:27:42

Hope it goes well tomorrow merlot, and your mum settles in without too much distress flowers

kittylester Thu 11-Apr-13 07:21:35

Good luck today*merlot*. I really hope your mum settles well and you can relax. You've had a very trying time. Keep us posted! flowers

FlicketyB Thu 11-Apr-13 11:46:33

Good luck Merlot and relax this evening, knowing you have done the right thing.

Be aware that it may take her months to settle, but she will eventually. I have had to do this twice, one aunt and uncle banished me from their sight after I arranged for them to move into a care home, they never wanted to see me again. A month later they were asking my cousin what had happened to me as they hadn't seen me for ages, and when I visited they were so pleased to see me again.

Movedalot Thu 11-Apr-13 12:13:21

Hope it is going welll Merlot and that she settles quickly

HUNTERF Thu 11-Apr-13 12:42:48


I hope your mother settles in OK.
I went to a care assessment on Tuesday and I have heard I have upset another resident.
I am supposed to have stolen £20,000 from him.
The relatives have told the nurse in charge that there was no money in the home for anybody to steal.


merlotgran Thu 11-Apr-13 14:22:10

As you were, Everyone!

Mum didn't go anywhere today. Apparently the District Nuse hadn't sent her assessment to the social care team so the move has been postponed till tomorrow. Poor Mum was up and dressed and wondering what was going on when I arrived but was calm when I left.

I do wish everyone would just get on and DO their jobs. How difficult is it e-mail a form?

Thanks for all your kind words of support. Frank, you made me laugh grin

Mishap Thu 11-Apr-13 14:45:24

How very frustrating for you - your poor mum must wonder what on earth is going on - I am sorry to hear what has happened. Do you think she will go tomorrow?

I presume it is the continuing health care funding form that has failed to get sent. When I rang the office about this they told me that they did not know the answers to any of my questions, which were incredibly simple - what happens now the checklist has been done, who does the full assessent, how do they get told that they have to do it, how long does the process take etc.!! I am taking this forward myself by ringing the relevant people and telling them what they should be doing!!!

HildaW Thu 11-Apr-13 14:48:58

Merlot, all the best to you and your Mum, I do hope it eventually goes as smoothly as possible. These folks in charge of such things just never seem to realise how distressing they can make it by not being organised.
All the best.

HUNTERF Fri 12-Apr-13 11:35:57


I can understand your frustration to some extent.
Things do however go wrong even with medical staff.
I was having an operation done privately and the surgeon went ill at the last minute.
It was frustrating for me as I had taken the day off work and they told me it was not going ahead at about 11.30am.
My manager was not very pleased as I had to take another day off a week later but the situation could not be helped.
I can also remember going to visit a customer and expecting to be back at about 3pm.
An accident happened on the motorway and I never returned to the office that day because it was about 8pm when I got back to London.


HUNTERF Fri 12-Apr-13 11:46:48

A situation which could have been avoided however was somebody who after some argument was found to be entitled to full NHS funding.
The mother was living in the daughters house at the time but went in to dementia.
The mother had little money but the social worker said it would make thinks a lot easier if the daughter financed the home.
The mother was in hospital for a further 6 weeks as the daughter refused to pay and there were disputes over which budgets would fund the mothers care.
They came back saying the mother was getting worse as a result of the daughter refusing to finance the mothers care and they said the care home would provide activities to improve the mother.
In the end it cost the NHS more to keep the mother in hospital and the bed was blocked.


janeainsworth Fri 12-Apr-13 12:07:42

merlot only just read about your mum's reply to the question about the former prime minister grin
Do hope things go well and it's sorted soon flowers

kittylester Fri 12-Apr-13 12:08:35

merlot hope everything went smoothly today. Thinking of you. flowers

glassortwo Fri 12-Apr-13 16:21:18

merlot hope you got your Mum settled.

Bez Fri 12-Apr-13 16:37:11

I have not commented before Merlot but I have thought about you - I hope all goes well- it is such a worry when you are a distance from parents when they start to need help. I was very lucky as although 160 miles away my parents were able to remain in their home right up until the end - they died at 88 and 86 three weeks apart, which was hard at the time for us but better for them.

NfkDumpling Fri 12-Apr-13 19:35:09

Sorry Merlot missed your thread. I do hope all went well today and your mum and the move happened smoothly. It's so upsetting for the oldies and their carers to be let down like this. Is it down to lack of staff, inefficiency or lack of caring?

NfkDumpling Fri 12-Apr-13 19:37:29

And what happens to those who don't have a caring relative or close friend to fight their corner for them?

merlotgran Fri 12-Apr-13 22:28:43

Mum is now in her new nursing home. It's been an exhausting day as she took ages to settle but the carers were very good and I think she'll feel better after a good night's sleep. We'll go back in tomorrow to see how she's getting on.

When we arrived at her old care home this morning she was wearing the clothes she had on yesterday. She was still in bed so we can only assume she slept in them.This has happened before so I have informed social services who have asked for a letter of complaint. I bet they could paper the walls with them now and I doubt any disciplinary action will be taken but I'll write it anyway.

Thank God she's out of that awful place.

glassortwo Fri 12-Apr-13 22:33:52

merlot try to have a good nights rest you must be worn out, and hopefully your Mum will be settled when you visit tomorrow. flowers.