Older Love

Put in your will that your spouse has the house until his/her death, then it is to go to children, or the equivalent value in its place.

So hunter if you have actually read my posts, what would you do?

Movedalot

Just saying verbally your half of the house must go to your sons is not legally binding on your husband if you die first.
Unfortunately there are many ungenuine relationships with second marriages etc.
I did hear of I case where a man had to go in to care and did not have capacity to re write his will.
He had inherited his wife's half of the house and it was all willed over to his new partner.
I heard she never visited him when he was in care.
His only visitors were his children.
When he died she just claimed all of his assets and did not even attend the funeral.

Frank

petallus this is a genuine worry and I have discussed it with DH. I have also spoken to DSs about it and suggested they remind DH should the situation ever arise. I can't think of any other way of covering it as I, like you, think that some men can be too trusting.

Stating the obvious, but do I feel I have been around in a huge circle?

petallus

I was glad I owned half the house when my father got a partner for a few months.
As soon as she realised she could not get her hands on the house she slammed the door and left.
As far as Dad was concerned the relationship was not genuine and the fact she came back demanding the house after Dad's death illustrates she was just after the money.

Frank

Movedalot I suppose my concern is that if I died first and left my half of the house to DH, he might find someone else and decide to leave the house to her.

Or not make a will and then the house would go to her, as his next of kin.

Sometimes men get their head swayed by new partners.

Obviously there would be no problem if he willed the house to the children.

Just found this tread. Now I know! I am half of an ELDERLY couple.
Although we don't snuggle up to each other buying a shirt in M&S but we get on well and are friendly and comfortable with each. And we have memories. We weren't always elderly.

There are lots of posts on GN about being old or more to the point of not feeling/being old. Now dorsetpennt has let us know just how old a couple who are in their 70s are.

I was never one to pretend to be still young but being called elderly on GN----Well! And I don't even have sweet face, though DH is distinguished. Still with hair and over 6ft tall.

Absolutely!

I think there would have to be very good reasons for him to contest the will. Things like his own contribution to the home etc.

Actually Ana I couldn't imagine marrying anyone if I were widowed, let alone someone who didn't have anything of his own to bring to the marriage!

Couldn't he contest the will if you'd been married for several years, though...? I know it's not very likely, but you never know!

But if DH were to die I would own the house outright. If I then decided to marry someone else it would still be my house and, as long as I willed it to my children after the marriage, new DH would have no claim on it. Simple

For many of us our house is our biggest asset so you would first have to make sure your house was held as tentants in common (as HUNTERF said above).

There are drawbacks with this method though. For instance, if DH died and left his half of our house to my DD and then she was involved in an acrimonious divorce from her husband, husband could claim a percentage of her interest in my house in their divorce settlement (conceivably).

Also, if DD fell on hard times and wanted to claim benefits, I believe her interest in the house might prevent her getting them. House would then presumably have to be sold so she could have her share to live on.

At least this is what I heard. If I am wrong it would be useful to know.

I don't think it is so complicated. All you have to do is write a new will as soon as you are married and leave your assets to whomever you wish. Simple. The only thing to note is that the will must be made after the marriage.

annodomini

A trust may be ok at certain stages in life.
I know of one case where half a house went in to trust when the mother died and the beneficiaries were 2 teenage girls.
It did give powers to the father to sell the house and substitute it with another one. At the time the father was in his 40's and I think it was written that way because the father may have to move for his job for example.
I understand there was a clause allowing him to re marry and the future wife had the right to stay in the home.
He went and married a woman who was not much older than his daughters and this woman outlived both his daughters and his daughters never saw their inheritance.
In my case it was best the ownership of half of the house was transferred to me as I moved in to my parental home after selling mine.

Frank

Isn't the answer to set up a trust? Friends of mine have done this and have made me a trustee.

gracesmum

I don't think you would have been happy to have inherited half of your parents house, moved in and spent thousands of £'s on it and then have your surviving parents partner try and throw you out.

Frank

petallus

You could speak to a solicitor and get your house split in to tenants in common ownership and then will your half to your children.
This would leave your husband with the right to stay in the home for the rest of his life.
If he did get re married then probably a legally binding agreement could be made for the children to inherit all of the house as long as they allow the new wife to stay in the house for the rest of her life but not own it.
If it is worded correctly the house could not be taken towards the new wife care fees if she goes in to care.

Frank

So have I petallus and the person concerned had to sit back and watch their inheritance frittered away by someone who had only been in their parent's life for a short time.
DH has always said he would not deny me happiness in old age but I should never re-marry and allow his money, intended for his GC, to go to another family. I have to agree, why should another family live comfortably on his hard earned money.

On the other hand, I have been married for 46 years and consider I have contributed equally to our present assets. I want these (or at least my half) to go to my children and grandchildren when we die (one of my DD is quite poor).

I would not begrudge DH finding a new partner if I died first but I would be pretty upset to think that everything would go to the new wife and nothing to my children.

I've seen it happen.

New partners are not always sympathetic to adult children of their new husband.

gracesmum you have said it all in a nutshell. It is money that is the root of all evil and arguments, not love.

Why is there this assumption that second partners are necessarily predatory? They could be richer, have a bigger house, a better pension - who cares? It doesn't have to come down to money anyway - what price happiness in a person's latter years? If my father had found a lady friend to ease the loneliness of the years after Mum died I would have been delighted for him. You can't put a price on happiness or love.

bluebell

The only solution would have been if she owned a house.
On our land certificate it said no sale or transfer of the house without the consent of both myself and my father.
Even if he had willed the house to her it looks as if I could have stopped the transfer.

Frank

petallus

The one classic case I know was when a father got re married and the son had been left half of the house by his mother his half was registered in his name.
The father willed the house to the second wife and died a few months later and the son wanted his half.
I know court proceedings were commenced but I don't know what happened in the end as I left London and lost contact.

Frank

But Frank - if your dad had met someone who made him really happy and they wanted to be together, there were plenty of solutions as you well know . As I said earlier, is it all about the money? That's why I think it's so sad.