I was wondering if there is anybody out there who could help, or may have a similar 'problem'. I have been with a new partner for nearly 7 years now. He was a widower. His sons, who do not live very close(luckily), visit and stay. I have been a single mother in my previous 'existence'. I find my partner's adult sons spoilt. The eldest son's children(2) are just the same. I have always been welcoming to visitors. The younger son now has 2 small children - a 4 year old and a baby.
My partner does not want a rift so he says they will never change, so 'as we don't see them very much lets just give them a nice time', kind of approach. I am a good cook so when they come, such as at Christmas, it is all lovely. I have never had a word of thank you in the last seven years. I think people are wondering why I do it, and now I suppose I have put 2 and 2 together. The eldest grand children were 'booked' in for holidays here, but now they are in their teens so that is over.
The main problem is with the younger son, partner and their young children. When they come they just do not take any responsibility for their children. I end up cooking picking up after them and entertaining their 4 year old. They just sit and do nothing/watch tv/read books/drink, just ignore their child. I have raised the issue of cooking and perhaps they can help, but I am informed that it is enough just looking after their child! The mother's mother, the real grandmother does everything for her daughter, so I think that they haven't had to make any shift to being parents.The subject of the 4 year old coming to stay now has just arisen(like his cousins), and I am sorry I just can't contemplate this future situation.
I have 2 little grandchildren of my own(my daughter's children), and when I see them I actually get looked after and I do a bit of childcare - but nothing to the extent of for these others. I am lucky to get a cup of tea if we visit them(resentfully). We are always forgiving them and their behaviour. What is going on?
It is not that I don't want to do anything or for example can't stand the little boy. It is just expected of me, not appreciated and what's more, I think they regard me as a 57 year old joke(uncool) somewhat!
Nobody knows yet but I am going away on my own for Christmas...
