Dementia - what do the carers want?

cathyd, they are called fiddle muffs. It's a good way of using up odd bits of wool etc. I make them for our local hospital and use different textures and put things inside the muffs as well as outside. Some dementia sufferers find them soothing. My mum used to shred tissues so I suppose a fiddle muff might help with this type of thing.

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Have read the suggestions re. dementia sufferers and their carers and found it really interesting. Can I ask for suggestions how to 'convince' my cousin who is at her wits end caring full time for her elderly mother (recently diagnosed and given medication for dementia).Cousin is a spinster and lives with her mother in a council run flat. Aunty doesn't venture outside the flat only to attend appointments and is accompanied by cousin and I usually drive them.
When I stay with aunty for a few hours to enable cousin to go and get the groceries etc Ive tried playing various board games, colouring book, looking at family photos and sometimes we just listen to music as conversation is very limited. Apart from myself there is no-one to support my cousin in caring for her mum. I believe if my cousin would just go to her GP and explain the difficulties she's experiencing coping then hopefully she'd have access to some respite care(?) I know cousin has some financial concerns; she gets her state pension and some kind of carers allowance but is fearful about seeking any kind of help in case there is a charge for the service(s).....
I don't know where to go with this and how much to urge my cousin to seek help as she is a very private person (bit of the stiff upper lip type) What is the way forward?

we have a group called Singing For the Brain run in our area. Dementia suffers are taken there and they can join in with all the old songs from their younger days.

Deedi does your cousin claim attendance allowance for her mother. It is a non means tested benefit for those who require some form of care. You can look up on the internet for details and how to apply. If successful you would have money to pay for someone to come in and help with looking after your aunt.

I suggest your cousin contacts either/ both Age UK and /or the Alzheimer's society who will put her in touch with someone whe can help her get any benefits she and her Mother are entitled to. We are well catered for here with help and organisations for respite care , although I don't yet use them myself, but I have all the details at hand for when I do need them.

How about poetry? I have a friend who suffers from dementia and we often sit and recite poetry with each other. A lot of elderly people were made to learn poems by heart in their youth. If they were church goers they will also remember the words to hymns.

I think I must be "in the spectrum" because I prefer short stories, and have read loads.
elena - the only really short ones I can think of is Chekov's earliest stories, World's Classics series - quite funny too. Most later stories are very long.
William stories is a very good idea, they appeal to all ages.

Careof123,annsixty and Hunt thank you for your suggestions. I'm more hopeful of being able to 'chat' with my cousin (about applying for an assessment) if I can refer to some printed information; so my next step will definately be the organisations you suggested. I feel more hopeful and positive after reading your posts, thank you!

I think Vickya's suggestion is a really good one. I visit my Auntie and when we talk about recent things, she gets very confused but when we looked at some photos, it seemed her mind clicked back in and her memories of the past were sharp and her face lit up as she remembered people and places. Our local paper used to ask people to send in photos of our area from the past and being in a library, I'm pretty sure there must be literature of that type you could choose and hand around. You could also get in touch with a care home and find out from the staff there what their residents who have dementia enjoy. The exercise thing Vickya suggested is a good idea too. Keep them a little active. What a lovely thing to do, for sufferers and carers respite. I wish you every success.