My partner and I have been together 6 years. We live together, but are not married.
He was taken very seriously ill between Christmas and New Year and almost died. His life was saved ( thank you wonderful NHS) with a major operation lasting 6 hours which ended up with an ileostomy.
We had worries about his memory before hand.
But now it was obvious it was rapidly going downhill and he was diagnosed with 2 different types of dementia.
When plans were being made to release him from hospital it was very obvious he could not care for himself
I have already been a carer for 24 years of my life, and at 68, felt I did not have the strength to do it again. His children agreed.
THE POINT BEING.... no matter how much we spoke to the hospital, social services etc etc, the default situation is that if you live with someone YOU ARE THEIR CARER at least where I live, it is.
5 months down the line, he has recovered from the surgery, and we have built a new life for him where he enjoys swimming, sauna, bowls, and snooker. Excellent. His driving license has been revoked, and the car sold, so he is a little better off financially as he also gets Attendance Allowance. He is happy in his own way, and content watching war time DVD's on his laptop.
Well, my life is in shreds. I had to close my business ( I am a genealogist and had an office in town) as there was not time to sell it. My income plummeted to the extend I am not really keeping my head above water. I try to work from home, but there are constant interuptions from you know who and I am completely stressed as I have many unfinished projects and my clients are badgering me.
The biggest insult is that he gets a pension but is still eligible for Attendance Allowance
I get a pension but cannot get Carers Allowance because of that - this anomaly saves the Government £360 BILLION a year countrywise.
Mad? YOu bet I am, Furious? Yes! Sad and mourning for the man I have lost who is no longer here - he looks the same, but isn't and upset over my ruined business.
The default carer - thanks for listening.........
HeyHo Thu 11-May-17 07:33:38
cornergran Thu 11-May-17 07:55:01
Christinefrance Thu 11-May-17 07:59:31
kittylester Thu 11-May-17 07:59:58
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Jane10 Thu 11-May-17 09:03:22
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aggie Thu 11-May-17 09:22:36
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Luckygirl Thu 11-May-17 10:20:41
HeyHo Thu 11-May-17 11:17:31
Luckygirl Thu 11-May-17 11:40:19
GracesGranMK2 Thu 11-May-17 12:20:30
Jane10 Thu 11-May-17 12:43:03
HeyHo Thu 11-May-17 13:02:09
GracesGranMK2 Thu 11-May-17 19:03:00
HeyHo Thu 11-May-17 19:12:14
Jalima1108 Thu 11-May-17 19:48:58
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vampirequeen Thu 11-May-17 21:26:30
HeyHo Thu 11-May-17 21:49:45
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GracesGranMK2 Thu 11-May-17 23:43:58
Hopehope Fri 12-May-17 00:06:43