95 year old Mum in hospital but this pain in groin?

I know this is an old post, and I haven't read all the answers - but as a Nurse and a Care home and Sheltered Housing Manager, groin pain has usually ended up being referred pain from a bad hip ...... hope this info is of use to someone!

Gilly it is so good to hear from you and be updated with all that has and is happening with this sad and latest twist to your Mum`s condition, lying there deeply unwell in Hospital.
It is such a deeply fretful and worrying time for you all.You probably feel the need of doing something,anything that might retrieve the situation and bring your Mum round again to how she was barely days ago.....................but so sadly, there are these certain times in life when it is simply best to leave it to the professionally trained.

Nevertheless your heart remains right there and you feel the urge to do something positive.It is human nature.

Time now perhaps to be simply glad that she is receiving such good care......and for you to go easy on yourself Gilly..............take care and avoid getting overly stressed, as these situations are so very draining.

Please know my loving thoughts are with your Mum and with you.
Please remain strong. sent in the hope they comfort you.

Gilly
Will keep you and your mum in my thoughts and prayers

Well here I am in the early hours of the morning trying to make sure what is happening is 'right'. I have trawled through the forums and it seems as in life we are all individuals and in dying no-one goes through the same process. Our Mum is not going to look up and say 'everyone is doing this right for me'. All she could be saying when she was talking is how kind they all are.

She is barely conscious, we talk to her, moisten her lips with the pink sponges and put vaseline on her lips. (I phoned last night and asked if they could check her eyes again.

They took down the drip that had finished and the have had a driver in since the afternoon of the huge fit (Wednesday at 5.38 I was phoned).

At the moment she doesn't need the oxygen mask and is breathing quiet good and deeply.

On Friday afternoon when our daughter & family arrived told me as they were leaving they said she opened her eyes and they called the nurse who gave her a little sip of water. They said she seemed to hold their hand. She said Gran needs lots of those sponges on her lips.

When we arrived about an hour later she was asleep. She did have two coughs which I hadn't heard before. Also she had a couple of good yawns. You think is she going to wake up again.

Yesterday (Saturday) we visited - very much asleep - I explained the nurse I thought every so often her brow would crease and I would hear the rumble in her tummy. Although I admit it was not very often. She never opened her eyes.

The bag of fluid finished and they said they were not putting up another. They said she has medication in the driver to help minimize her having another fit and if she was uncomfortable there are other medications they can administer this way.

In the afternoon her youngest sister came and did her hair for her, even though she was just lying on her pillow. It was very touching to watch - she used a portable curling tongs. We left her to have some time with her sister. Her sister said I asked her to open her eyes and look in the mirror to see how pretty her hair looked. She said she didn't respond and neither moved her hand to hold hers.

About 5 p.m. one of her adult grandchildren arrived and she phoned my brother, who has helped her at home, etc, to say phone at 10 p.m. She said whilst she was there she had 3 small seizures and the nurses were helping her. She said she thought she saw pain from her tummy so she massaged her tummy and she had a poo. So nurses cleaned and made her comfortable.

My brother did the call at 10 p.m. and phoned me to say he asked if we should come and the staff nurse, who we like, said she was very comfortable.

We did not drive up because we witnessed the care this particular nurse gave to her the first night. Very professional - attention to detail when checking and recording her signs even aspirating her (?) to make her comfortable not nice seeing what was in the tube. She said she had swallowed quite a bit during the fit but she was on antibiotics as prevention for infection from the procedures to control this fit. (although they have all been lovely) Our Mum coughed a bit and she immediately raised her bed head a little.

So back to now and thinking our our lovely Mum. I have my husband at present ranting on about this is not fair on Gran why can't they just help her go - they should not deny her water, etc. They could give her something to speed this up...

I have read so much over the last few hours as to the pro's and con's.

Just remembered - I have read that someone gave their relative some ice cream. Could that help?

So at the moment it is now time to try and sleep. I have felt better writing down my thoughts here. I have said to my husband I think we will drive back to the hospital, instead of making the morning phone call, to see how she is. (My brother from London is arriving again this afternoon. I said to my husband he will want some time with her on his own I am sure - so we will not go at the same time.)

This fit was Wednesday morning and here we are early hours of Sunday morning. I am sure there is no easy way but we all want the best and our Mum cannot tell us what she wants. I bet it would be a nice cup of tea.

Gilly123 there are so many similarities between your experiences and mine. I really feel for you. The absolute roller coaster of caring for an elderly mum in hospital and the emotional ups and downs is so exhausting. I hope your mum fights back and I send you all my sympathy and love. Whatever happens you know that you have always done your best for her and she is loved and cared for.

Gilly, thank you so much for taking the time to reassure me amidst all your grief.

Gilly123 thinking of you and your family, particularly Mummy.

So sorry to hear this sending virtual hugs ?

Gilly Oh! Gilly what a very unexpected and unwanted change in your dear Mum`s condition.An exceptionally worrying time,added to how fraught you have been I now fear for you,thus understand only too well that you maybe "shutting down" from posting as this scary,ongoing new development takes all your strength and every thought.

Please know I care and am thinking of you and your dear mum`s welfare.
Sending you both every blessing.

I came in last night and it was so late but I posted a message and its not here. I must have done something wrong.

She still has not come around from the fit. Her veins have closed down and then brought in two anesthetist whilst we were there in the morning to try and put a line in. Without success. The registrar has explained everything to us and how they are caring for her. She has fluid going in and oxygen. They are concerned because she is not coming to - she hasn't even opened her eyes. She is back in the stroke ward and even the Doctor who was caring for her has been in to see her to talk to her hoping she recognizes is lovely deep voice.

All the staff are so upset they are all in shock. She should have been home yesterday. We are trying to feel some constellation that this happened in the early hours of Wednesday morning. If it had happened just when she was home for her first night who knows how long it would have taken for the ambulance to get to her. She was helped immediately and for a long time and as they told us this one lasted 'a long time'.

Just to say Alexa - thank you for your thoughts - they were very much on the case for all this. She was monitored e.g. enema, checking to make sure no blockage higher up, etc, etc.

She was so close to her wish to come home. I may not post on here for awhile just thank you for helping me.

Just a quick thought confusion and awkward behaviours are common in elderly people with UTI’s and may account for the uncharacteristic behaviour you have worried about.
The sweet build up drinks are more palatable in a glass of milk so a few of those a day with a bit of the build up drink may help, I am assuming they are the Fortis drinks)
Cathaters if kept clean shouldn’t lead to infections but I guess the catheter should be changed fairly often to prevent the infection from the entry point.

pS, Gilly, you may show this message from me to the ward sister or doctor.

Gilly123, I am afraid to distress you more than you already are. However my sympathy is mainly with your mother.

There is actually an occasional problem with nursing care in nursing homes and hospitals concerning monitoring bowel movements. I am a qualified nurse and am experienced in care of the elderly including monitoring bowel function and treating constipation. Your mother's "heavily soiled nightie" may have been caused by constipation. This may seem contradictory and I could explain but I hesitate to do so on this page.

I am so sorry for her and I hope that my concern is unfounded. She seems to have a lovely personality.

I have myself raised this concern with medical authorities about my own friend (a patient in a psychiatric ward )and my concern was taken very seriously and I got a guarantee that nursing practice would be changed.

Thinking of you on another harrowing visit to the Hospital Gilly,hope the seizure did not cause too much damage.
Sending my support and oodles of love,nothing else I can add.

Good morning. I am just waiting for my brother to pick me up. I had a phone call this morning at 5.38 to say Mummy has another seizure and bit her tongue all medical staff are with her.

We went up yesterday afternoon and she was sitting in the chair. Quite happy and I said what have you been doing today? She said 'I have been going round and round. Waiting talking to some other lady who was waiting and the nurse kept saying 'in a minute'.'

So I guessed she had had the procedure and it was confirmed my Doctor to us that she had. He came in to see her and she said that nice young man said there was nothing wrong with me. He also couldn't understand why you are keeping me here. She had the Doctor laughing and he said you are right I am happy to say you are medically fit and lets see if we can get you home on Thursday.

Must go - but poor Mummy was happy, lovely time with her but.......not sure where we are now.

Thank you for all your support.

Gilly123 At least your brother visits. Mine made one visit during the 3 months my mother spent in hospital . It was too far to come and the weather was bad (which it was) but I think I would have made the effort.

Gilly Oh! Gilly what can I say to help?

Sadly nothing, but at least the one small good point is you are venting your anger as you really need to, rather than allow all this to built up within you.

Please know I am following your posts but find it difficult to find any rhyme or reason to all this about your Mum and what exactly is next to happen.
It really is a shambles and not the first I have heard of today.

I can but sincerely hope all this aggro can be sorted and soon,whilst hopefully you find your Mum in a responsive.......and perhaps positive mood.
It is all so up and down that believe me,I too am confused so you have my every sympathy.
I don`t think there is such a thing as communication within Hospitals anymore.

Thank you - I know there are so many of us trying to cope with this.

But just sometimes when you think - I know she is confused so will not listen to watch she says - check with staff. Then you do like yesterday and Doctor says she is fit to be discharged as no urine infection. He then says she will come in as an out-patient on Saturday for a procedure.

We say 'We have asked for it to be brought forward'.

(The OT department have not told us what arrangements they have made? In fact they should be doing that to say the hospital bed is going to be delivered on.... is that convenient? Nothing...)

The we have a non-practical professional brother who lives over a hundred miles away, the doctor told us last night, that he said if our Mum is home then he is quite happy to bring her to outpatients????

We are saying he couldn't even get her in his car! Let alone get her out of her flat on his own! Plus that is a round trip for her of 60+ miles with a catheter and wheelchair bound.

We had a message from this brother saying he will be coming down next Monday. So what about his discussion with the Doctor?

I have just washed her heavily soiled nightie and thinking I think have a 'helpful' brother who says he is being supportive mmm....

Well that's my anger out of the way and I have had a few tears. So getting ready to go up to hospital again.

One of the problems we had was that mum's reports of what had been said to her weren't always accurate. She seemed to make sense when talking to them but then couldn't remember, or was confused about, what she had been told. Our social worker was lovely and so helpful. Hope you find out more and it all goes well. It is so difficult to keep going. Stay strong and look after yourself.

We have decided not to ring OT department we thought leave it to doctor knowing we want this procedure carried out before she leaves hospital. So when we go in this afternoon we should know one way or other. Yes - l agree OTs making arrangement for package of care and had no update from them as yet. We expected it anyway but certainly was requesting this procedure done before discharge.

That sounds a bit odd Gilly123. Does she have a social worker if so can you ring them? The OTs and social worker were heavily involved in arranging a discharge for mum. It never happened but it seemed to be them not the doctor who were arranging things.

Well visit went OK?! We knew she had a urinary track investigation booked as an outpatient. I handed in a written request that this could be brought forward to be carried out whilst she is in hospital.

In past discharge has been imminent then she becomes poorly, hence, no time line possible. Anyway because of the difficulty regarding her health and distance my brother also visited the department and explained the situation. Last night we see Doctor who says your Mum could come home any day!! We said this appointment and he said it is for Saturday 19th - we said 'No' it is not feasible in her condition to be making her do this trip. What if she is poorly afterwards and it states that you will not be let home until satisfied you have recovered. Doctor said she would be re-admitted and we said this is silly! He gets out some 'transfer' notes and it states today 15th - he tried to get dept and all gone home. he said I don't know anything about this but I will have to book a porter and it is for morning this could be difficult....

Bottom line she is still very weak, which hopefully will improve when we get her home, she has only lost 1 Ib so I assume she has been eating but just forgets what she has had and would prefer to moan about hospital food.

Anyway fingers crossed for her sake they have fitted her in today. We have heard nothing from the OT team about her discharge plan being organised and would have thought we would have heard based on what the Doctor said last night. I think we are begging to see the 'dots not joined up'.

You sound lovely and really doing your best all round. When people get into their 90's things go up and down so quickly and so often from my small experience. Just ask all the questions you want to and take any advice you can get, all the best

Just a thought Gilly.

Recently I was advised to take Ensure Plus,4 cans per day,added to whatever food I could manage whilst in Hospital as I had lost a very large amount of weight...........being nauseous constantly I could not eat the Hospital food in the main..........these cans brought in by my DH the Hospital kept in their fridge, bringing me one 4 times daily.
They are easy to consume with the aid of a straw,quite pleasant actually and highly nutritious.
Could this ........or any other make of "drink in a can" be at least tried?
(They can be prescribed and so the Hospital could easily get them if you were to ask)

Believe me Hospital food is fine for a week,then it gets repetitive and down right boring.

When unwell you need tempting and this is what I guess she might need ...........again perhaps it is time she was no longer there.
She has been in a long time and I have every sympathy for her.
I think also her age and memory failure is just one of "those" things you need to accept.

Certainly hoping you meet no further new obstacles on your visit,so draining for you,this I too fully understand.
Gilly........

I take it's her left groin? Is she constipated or has she impacted faeces?