Brother needs to go into a home, help!

I am so sorry to hear about your brother's death - and under such dreadful circumstances.

Reading your experience with the statutory services is so depressing. And no real prospect of change - the issue of social care is sorrowfully lacking from the manifestos we are hearing about in the media.

I so identified with your comment about nit being believed - it really does produce a gut reaction of blind fury - this is happening to me at the moment. First application for CHC funding was turned down (now being appealed) - one of the items in the refusal was that there was no evidence of OH's psychotic behaviour - there was: me telling them about it. They might just as well have written down that I am a liar.

Second CCH funding meeting last Tuesday - again the raised eyebrows when I brought this up. Yesterday OH in the nursing home was screaming and shouting and calling people evil b*****s, ringing me to say he was being poisoned and eventually rang the police to say he was being held against his will - I rang CCH bods and said will you please ring the NH so they could get the picture. I doubt they will.

Your post has really struck a chord with me (I expect you can tell!) - your battle mirrors mine and I really do know how the sheer energy required to fight just drags you down in the end. It is bad enough to have a loved one like your brother so very very ill; but to have to engage in frustrating battles to get the care needed is the final straw.

It is not just incompetence, but a system that is totally broken - when will someone get a grip on this?

I send heartfelt good wishes to you and your family. I hope that you can take some comfort from the fact that you did everything you possibly could and just the fact that you were fighting his corner will have been will have been a comfort to him.

Classic, I'm so sorry for your loss. The circumstances must make it even harder to bear.

It is sad, dreadful and beyond wrong that what you and your family experienced should be happening in a so-called developed country in the 21st century. I hope you will feel helped by others who have posted her. Sending you

Classic I missed your first posts when you were trying to get help for your brother and am now sorry to hear about your loss.

I think perhaps you should write down a chronological order of events and agree with your sister it is correct. It does sound as if you should put in a complaint about the social worker and the lack of care all round for your brother so you need to have the facts ready and the order written down whilst it is still fresh, although you may find that emotionally difficult.

I don't know where you live (don't post it on here) but care seems to be patchy, better in some areas than others.
It is shocking that a most vulnerable member of society was not having his needs met - even with two caring sisters to fight his corner for him.

Apologies for typo.
here

I agree with Dottynan. It seems at least two of the professionals have blundered: the "duty GP" and the social worker.The DN seems to have been remiss too. Is the DN service so abominably short staffed?

Classic, your letter to the grans makes the situation clear enough.

Your complaints justify letters to your GP practice, local health authority, social services director, and your MP.

Most of all I don't understand how your GP was not informed by "duty GP". Own GP was not orchestrating your brother's care from the beginning of his clinical need which would be from initial diagnosis of terminal illness? That seems odd. A social worker does not diagnose the progress of a client's clinical condition.

True, the DN came out and they can alert the doctor to clinical need, but why the delay "after many weeks"?

Letters to his GP, your member of parliament, the local health authority named top official, and the local direcrtoe of social work might at least get you an apology and an undertaking to ensure better procedures.

I myself wrote letters on behalf of a friend and the outcome was positive. I met appropriate officers who assured me procedures would be improved. Each letter informed recipients of who else had copies.

If you could do this you might feel you were of service to others and you'd feel better, and your dear brother's death and all your work had not been in vain.

seek out a body attached to your brother`s GP surgery...a person called Community Matron. A lot of people don't even know such a person exists! It`s like NHS Continuing Healthcare...a state secret almost!

We had the help of this `Superwoman` when my mil needed care urgently.

So sorry to read of your distressing and frustrating time with people who seemed set on denying your late DB the care he so obviously needed. He was fortunate to have you and your sister fighting for him and you must assure yourself that he knew he was loved and valued as a person. When the emotions have calmed a little, perhaps, as others have suggested, you and your sister could compile a detailed summary of the dreadful problems you faced, and the indignities your brother had to face. This needs to be forwarded to your GP surgery, the SW department and your local MP. At the very least, you can perhaps help another family not to have to go through this same unnecessary pain.

I'm so sorry to read of this sad outcome, Classic. . You did all in your power to help your brother - don't feel guilty about that. I do understand a little, though, of how you feel as my darling sister died in less than ideal circustances earlier this year.

If you feel strong enough, it's worth making a complaint so that you know it could help others in the future.