Caring for elderly parent

Hi MaiBea, my advice would be to contact the Alzheimer’s society on their website. You may have a local support group in your area with a support worker for you. The website have a link called Talking Point which people with or care for those with memory loss share experiences and advice. When my mum started having memory loss the anxiety kicked in and she was constantly phoning me up and would make up stories. As her memory became worse she thought she was fine and as far as she was concerned she was washing herself and cooking meals but she wasn’t. Arm yourself with as much information about memory loss and how to deal with it. Never become confrontational about your mums memory as she cannot help it. I’m afraid if it’s dementia it will progress but I found the Alzheimer’s and Age UK a great support. What I did find very hard was dealing with her friends and neighbours who haven’t a clue about what happens to those who start to lose their memory and their ridiculous pieces of advice. My mother’s memory loss developed into vascular dementia and she suffered for eight years. My siblings just would not accept what was happening and just kept correcting her. If they gave lots of patience, reassurance and support her life would have been better. Find out about home support ready for when she needs it. If she is like my mum she will fight it and say she hates strangers etc with the right support you can deal with this. Also you need to get power of attorney for your mum if this has not been done. It’s never to early to do this. Good luck

Have you got a power of attorney in place? Preferably for both finances and health and welfare. If not, pls do it ASAP, since once people are having memory problems (if it’s dementia looming, I hope not) then speaking from experience they can become very suspicious and think you’re just after their money.
Being without these can become a major headache later.

One effective ploy that I’ve heard of, re getting help in, is to say that so and so really needs a little job, and she’d be doing her a favour.
Or else, the doctor says you must have some help. (Whether s/he has or not.) Of course that would mean getting a bit tough and saying you just can’t do it all.

‘Hurt’ your arm.....maybe if she sees you are damaged she will allow the cleaner to crack on!