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Social Services and Nurses

(30 Posts)
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sunny123 Wed 01-Apr-20 17:30:27

I'm having ongoing problems with my Mum who is nearly 89. Recently she has been unable to get up from her chair and has been wearing an incontinence pad but unable to change it.

She does not want to go into a home but has been forced into it for "respite care". The nurses told her it would be free and for a week or two. Then a social services lady called me and the cost was revealed at about £500 per week plus it may be for up to 2 months. Mum objected to the cost and said she would rather go into hospital but the nurses / social services are dead set against this.

I spoke to the social services lady again and she suggested she told my Mum that I said she should go into a home but I objected as I thought she was tricking my Mum but saying something I hadn't actually said. She then told me that she was "concerned" that I was in the process of applying for LPA which to me hints at blackmail - push your Mum into a home or we will block the LPA.

I spoke to the nurse yet again and she said Mum could die tonight of Sepsis so we should get her into a home today but there was no need to go into hospital plus there is a risk of her catching Covid 19 in hospital.

The social services lady called me again later and said nothing would happen today as it is too late but hopefully tomorrow so I asked about the nurse telling me Mum could die tonight of sepsis? She called the nurse then called me back and said Mum has not got sepsis at the moment but it can happen very quickly.

I am trying to act in Mum's best interest and also respect her wishes at a difficult time. I am trying to base my decisions of what the "professionals" are telling us but I know the nurse has lied twice and the social services lady has implied she might object to the LPA if I don't do what SHE wants me to.

I'm not very happy about this whole situation. Should these professional people be acting in this way?

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Alexa Fri 03-Apr-20 00:01:34

Sunny, in view of the sort of incontinence your mother suffers from I wonder if you are aware of overflow incontinence. I think you might ask the nurse about this as it can be sorted fairly easily.

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Hetty58 Fri 03-Apr-20 00:26:10

Info on care at home:

www.ageuk.org.uk/information-advice/care/arranging-care/homecare/

Assuming that you are in the UK, try calling the environmental health department of your local council. They should be able to arrange, or at least advise on, the removal of the furniture. I think that it should be done now, if possible.

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Dillyduck Mon 06-Apr-20 11:20:29

Join Carers UK forum, lots of us have had to make difficult decisions. You must focus on what mum NEEDS not what you want. If she can't get out of her chair and sort out her incontinence pads, then either she has very regular carers - unlikely right now - or she moves into residential care for 24/7 access to support. Does mum have over £23,000 in savings? If not, Social Services will pay for most of the cost of the care but only AFTER a formal financial assessment has been completed. It is NOT the job of the social worker! For a crash course in the rules regarding care, either at home or in a home, look at the 2014 Care Act Statutory Guidance. Print of the relevant bits, and do a copy for the social worker!

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Liagrat89 Tue 19-May-20 12:05:07

It is happen bad situation during the Corona Virus and It is true that there are so many people are try to get money any how, So please care and use of common sense and contact to local authority or civil police,

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