Join Carers UK forum, lots of us have had to make difficult decisions. You must focus on what mum NEEDS not what you want. If she can't get out of her chair and sort out her incontinence pads, then either she has very regular carers - unlikely right now - or she moves into residential care for 24/7 access to support. Does mum have over £23,000 in savings? If not, Social Services will pay for most of the cost of the care but only AFTER a formal financial assessment has been completed. It is NOT the job of the social worker! For a crash course in the rules regarding care, either at home or in a home, look at the 2014 Care Act Statutory Guidance. Print of the relevant bits, and do a copy for the social worker!