Harassment from care home manageress

Quote mae13 Fri 13-Sep-24 15:39:35
icanhandthemback
Notjustaprettyface, it isn't a case of acceptance, it is a case of needs must. Believe me, if we had a choice we wouldn't want to pay the amount we do...part of our costs are to subsidise the people who can't afford to pay!
I found that out when temporarily shunted into a 'care' home during Covid: in conversation (of sorts) with another of the inmates she told me airily "I like being here - it's all free."
I had property so Social Services set my portion of the fees at £1100 per week. That was when I discovered that self-funders help to pay for the "free" residents.
Mmmmmmm..........

I live in a Nursing Home, I am a resident not an inmate

icanhandthemback

*Notjustaprettyface*, it isn't a case of acceptance, it is a case of needs must. Believe me, if we had a choice we wouldn't want to pay the amount we do...part of our costs are to subsidise the people who can't afford to pay!

I found that out when temporarily shunted into a 'care' home during Covid: in conversation (of sorts) with another of the inmates she told me airily "I like being here - it's all free."
I had property so Social Services set my portion of the fees at £1100 per week. That was when I discovered that self-funders help to pay for the "free" residents.
Mmmmmmm..........

I don’t think going to the police about a debt owed by the care of your dh will get anyone very far. There is a debt which needs to be paid, and moving him will probably not save any money.
Best sort the problem out, but pay you must. I hope you get the help you need.

The manager of the care home is running a business not a charity.
I would have thought it a basic duty of a wife to see that her husband has a power of attorney in place with some responsible person.

There is good advice from other posters as to how to get a power of attorney set up. See especially Luckygirl, above.

Notjustaprettyface, it isn't a case of acceptance, it is a case of needs must. Believe me, if we had a choice we wouldn't want to pay the amount we do...part of our costs are to subsidise the people who can't afford to pay!

DH and I sorted medical and financial POA years ago, when I became very ill, to pre-empt situations like this.
It wasn't cheap, but worth the peace of mind.

Notjustaprettyface, you must consult a solicitor and take control of the finances concerning your husband and sort out the contribution you are expected to make. Social Services , and also the Nursing Home staff, were supportive of me when I was attempting to sort out my parents 'affairs.

The fees are exorbitant and I am surprised so many of you ´ accept’ it

I don't find the fees acceptable Notjustaprettyface
My relative was paying more than that, the care/nursing home was nothing special in the way of decor or facilities but the care was good.

Hello everyone
An update for you
Social worker was on holiday until yesterday , she has contacted me and SS are going to pay the bill until I get POA or court of protection sorted
POA application has been acknowledged but not sure will get it because husbands capacity fluctuates
It all takes time and yes it is taking a heavy toll on my health
I can’t talk to the manageress , she intimidates me and is not approachable at all
When payment is sorted I will probably move my husband to another care home
The fees are exorbitant and I am surprised so many of you ´ accept’ it
It doesn’t have to be like this , in many European countries , care fees are half the price
I am hopefully sending off appeal against chc decision today and then will have to wait and see
In the meantime, the social worker has promised me that the manageress will be off my back for a while at least
Nobody should be allowed to harass people and if she does it again , I have been advised to go to the police
Thanks for all your help

I suggest you have a meeting with the manager and take someone with you.

I don't expect the owners are involved in the day to day running of the home. If you still want to contact them directly I expect you could get an address from Companies House as it's likely to be registered elsewhere.

Notjustaprettyface

Hello Mary doll
I understand that , it may not be her fault , she may be under pressure herself but you should see the tone of her emails and you should hear the tone of voice on the phone
Nobody should be allowed to harass people like that
I have also asked to meet the owners but that’s been refused

I suspect she may be getting a very hard time from the owners and she will probably be worried abour her job.

However, it doesn't excuse nasty emails. I hope you get it sorted out soon. It must be taking its toll on your own health.
Are Social Services not supporting you? When my mother was unable to return home from hospital and needed to go into a nursing home, I found them very supportive.
My problem was finding a nursing home, rather than a care home.

Allira
Care home owners are the richest people in the land
This has been documented and is a true scandal

Hello Mary doll
I understand that , it may not be her fault , she may be under pressure herself but you should see the tone of her emails and you should hear the tone of voice on the phone
Nobody should be allowed to harass people like that
I have also asked to meet the owners but that’s been refused

Thank you dilemna !

Get on Facebook and contact the people on this page. Set up during Covid. A life line for me and others.

www.facebook.com/groups/RightsforResidents/?ref=share

eazybee

Take out a power of Attorney; a solicitor will come to the Care Home, as happened with my father. Of course she is harassing you; she has costs to meet.

You cant do POA unless your husband is judged capable of that decision. If he isnt the Court of protection can appoint deputy to manage affairs which could be you if deemed suitable 💐

Ktsmum

To remove CHC from your husband there must have been a review of his needs, this should have been followed up with a plan as to who is going to pay his fees, this is likely to be Social Services with a contribution from your husband according to his means. Chase up social services for a financial assessment and once completed get Care Home Manager to chase SS for the backlog of fees, and then ask Social.Services to help you sort out his payments. If he is able to look after his own finances he will need to set up a direct debit or pay the home in cash or cheque whichever he prefers.
Tell the Care Home Manager that your husband needs a full financial assessment to review his contribution and until this is complete he cannot be expected to pay full fees. Press for an immediate financial assessment to get this sorted. Good luck

We've been through the CHC process and it is a lottery. He may have had a reassessment but that doesn't mean it is right. They will do anything not to pay and apply the rules illegally at times. It might be worth getting a legal opinion.

To remove CHC from your husband there must have been a review of his needs, this should have been followed up with a plan as to who is going to pay his fees, this is likely to be Social Services with a contribution from your husband according to his means. Chase up social services for a financial assessment and once completed get Care Home Manager to chase SS for the backlog of fees, and then ask Social.Services to help you sort out his payments. If he is able to look after his own finances he will need to set up a direct debit or pay the home in cash or cheque whichever he prefers.
Tell the Care Home Manager that your husband needs a full financial assessment to review his contribution and until this is complete he cannot be expected to pay full fees. Press for an immediate financial assessment to get this sorted. Good luck

Hello I read your messsge and I feel so very sorry for you. I lost my wonderful extremely with it 104 year old mum on Monday at her care home. My mum was in the home for almost 4 years she was self funding I paid £4,600 a month for her. However, money was running out n
Like you was worried what I could do. I approached the local authority they took the payments over at 5% interest which I will pay back when my mums modest house is sold. Incidentally the house was due to be completed today but as my mum died Monday my power of attorney finished n now have to go to Probate which I’m told by solicitors coukd take up to 16 weeks now in danger of the purchaser pulling out. Exchange n completion was all being done today. My advice is go to see someone at the local authority. Hope you get some help

I think you need a solicitor to help you navigate here, but failing that ,if your husband is still capable of managing his financial affairs himself, then you need to tell both the manergeress and him, preferably face to face in his room, that he has to deal with the matter.

If he is not mentally capable, you need talk seriously with his GP about having a guardian appointed for your husband,

Who is actually paying for his care at the moment?

There is a lot here, I do not understand, as say you don't have a POA or a joint account, so who is actually supposed to be paying? You or your husband? His bank?

Your bank should also be able to advise you on the financial issues.

If you or he owe the home money at present, then getting your bank to help you draw up a spreadsheet of your and your husband's expenses and income and a plan for paying off what you owe, should make discussions with the care home easier.

Do consult a solicitor - you need one.

Sago

A POA can only be granted if thee is full mental capacity.

Mental capacity is fluid. Provided the person is deemed to have mental capacity at the time they are giving consent PoA can be made.

Sago

A POA can only be granted if thee is full mental capacity.

In those cases you apply to the Court of Protection.

We had this with my mother. My father, a difficult man, wouldn’t set up a POA as he was never going to die. And no he didn't have cognitive problems!

So we got a Court of Protection order. It took a few weeks. Endless forms. But we managed it in the end.

Solicitors will apply for you but at quite an expense.

It is not harassment. Your husband needs care. You can either take him home and care for him yourself or pay for his care elsewhere. Your DH has his pension and attendance allowance to contribute to the bill and the rest will need to come from his savings. Care is expensive because of staff and other costs. The figure you quote is not excessive, my relative is paying over £7k per month in a nursing home. Many homes cannot provide adequate care on what social services pay for those with minimal savings, and other relatives have to act as guarantors to top it up. You are fortunate that CHC funding has contributed at all, it is difficult to get. Pay the bill and seek advice, as other posters have suggested.

Elderly residential and nursing homes are all privately owned and run. They were sold off in the 70/80s as was domiciliary care, Childrens homes, prisons, probation, gas, electricity, water, council houses, much of the more profitable areas of the nhs, public transport, all sold off at the behest of the Conservative government.
The execs pay themselves handsomely, with huge bonuses added, shareholders get dividends, they all get rich, and little is reinvested to improve these vital public services which benefit us all.

A care or nursing home is not a non profit - they still need to get paid I am afraid

Unless they are 100% dependent on the NHS - sorry, I am in the US and and I am not sure if this is possible in the UK

They are not harassing you