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Care & carers

Harassment from care home manageress

(68 Posts)
Notjustaprettyface Tue 10-Sept-24 07:56:37

Help please !
Ever since chc funding was stopped about a month ago , I am being harassed by the care home manageress whose sole purpose in life seems to be to know where the money is going to come from to pay for my husbands care fees at a rate of £1300 a week !
She presented me with a bill yesterday for £6174
I have told her more than once that I haven’t got a POA
We don’t have joint accounts or savings
I don’t have that sort of money available
And still she harasses me and just demands the money
What can / should I do ?
It’s supposed to be a CARE home !

Oopsadaisy1 Tue 10-Sept-24 08:01:02

Usually when the money runs out you have to make other arrangements to move into a care home funded by the Local Authority.

Or sell your property to fund the home you are using.

I’m sorry this has happened to you and your DH.

Oopsadaisy1 Tue 10-Sept-24 08:02:19

Age Concern might be able to help you with information on how to access your husbands bank accounts to pay the fees?

Dilemma Tue 10-Sept-24 08:12:25

Contact Adult Social Care to ask for a financial assessment for your husband (NOT you). This form will probably ask about your income/savings/investments but you do not need to divulge this information.
ASC can take all your husband’s state pension and half of his private pensions, less a personal weekly allowance (around £30 I think).
Meanwhile, return all invoices with a covering letter saying you are awaiting a financial assessment from ASC.
No relative is required to pay for another’s care.
Then chocolate and a large glass of wine for you!

Casdon Tue 10-Sept-24 08:16:24

It’s not actually harassment Notjustaprettyface, the care home has to be paid, and we know from your previous posts that you’re already aware that this was going to happen. You’re the next of kin, so you must take action, regardless of not having power of attorney, or they will take legal action to recover the money owed. The Local Authority Social Work team who were dealing with you previously will be able to advise you what to do, but please act quickly, because you will cause yourself more problems otherwise.

MissInterpreted Tue 10-Sept-24 08:23:11

Good advice there from Dilemma and Casdon, but whatever you do, please don't just ignore the situation. I understand how difficult this situation is, as we've been through it ourselves with my inlaws, but these care homes are a business like any other, and the manageress is probably following procedures from higher up re the invoices. Get advice and seek help now, before the situation snowballs even further.

Marydoll Tue 10-Sept-24 08:59:10

Good advice from everyone.

The manageress will be under great pressure from the owners, it is not her fault that you owe the money.

You really need to speak to social services ASAP, if you haven't already done so.

fancythat Tue 10-Sept-24 09:00:27

It sounds like you are 4 months behind with paying.

As well as the posts above, do you have any family or friends to help you navigate things?
It sounds like you got into a mess.

fancythat Tue 10-Sept-24 09:01:31

Sorry, 4 weeks.

Lisaangel10 Tue 10-Sept-24 09:15:53

They can’t make you sell your home as you still live there.

Sago Tue 10-Sept-24 09:26:18

Firstly you need to apply to the Office of the Public Guardian to get POA.
You need to contact adult services to get a deferred payment in place.
You then need to arrange a meeting with the manageress.
Do not bury your head in the sand, things will get worse if you do.

Allira Tue 10-Sept-24 09:28:41

It’s supposed to be a CARE home !

Unfortunately care homes have to be paid for and she is probably desperate now.
If everyone defaulted on their payments the home would have to close.

You need help urgently; if your DH has a separate bank account and savings you need legal advice and advice from the Social Worker on how to access this money so you can pay the fees.

Good luck.

I do sometimes wonder how the costs break down for some care homes and how much profit shareholders, venture capitalists make out of what is big business now.

Luckygirl3 Tue 10-Sept-24 09:42:18

You need proper advice so that your OH can meet his debt to the care home - although I suspect it is a nursing home in fact. The home has to meet all its bills so they are entitled to their fee. It is not harassment. I am surprised that they have not advised you on how to sort this problem.

First and foremost you need to consider whether the CHC funding was withdrawn fairly - contact Beacon www.beaconchc.co.uk to discuss whether an appeal can be lodged - I did this for my OH and won.

But in any event you must go to adult social care in the local authority and get help from them. They will assess your OH's means - NOT yours - and work out how best to help him.

Your home is safe, all savings in your name are safe, all income that is yours alone is safe. They will look at HIS income and savings only, and he will be assessed to pay an amount with a small personal allowance left to him.

The only problem left is that it is very likely that the LA will have a ceiling beyond which they do not pay - so there might be a top-up needed and you will need to discuss this with them. You are NOT obliged to pay this yourself.

Even without CHC funding there is something called NHS-funded nursing care. This allowance reimburses nursing homes for the care they provide to patients. The rate for the standard rate in England is £235.88 per week.

You do need proper advice about all of this, so please do not bury your head in the sand and watch the bills mount up. If you need a hand hold during the process then Age UK are good. They have an advice line: 0800 678 1602. They will provide guidance and also probably put you in touch with your local branch.

You must grasp this problem - the longer it drifts on the more difficult things will become. The home needs to be paid - they cannot function if they do not have an income.

Allira Tue 10-Sept-24 09:44:47

A very good informative post Luckygirl3.

eazybee Tue 10-Sept-24 09:58:13

Take out a power of Attorney; a solicitor will come to the Care Home, as happened with my father. Of course she is harassing you; she has costs to meet.

Sago Tue 10-Sept-24 10:24:35

A POA can only be granted if thee is full mental capacity.

HeavenLeigh Tue 10-Sept-24 13:08:56

She’s not harassing you she needs to have the money that’s owed for the care he’s receiving . I’m afraid it’s a fact of life . It’s very expensive and we went through the same thing one of my close family was paying thousands per month .

eazybee Tue 10-Sept-24 13:55:56

A fair few Care Homes are closing because the owners are not making the immense profits they did in the early days. There are many expensive safety regulations that have to be met, and staff costs are rising; everyone thinks care workers should be paid more and this is one of the places it applies.

Hithere Tue 10-Sept-24 14:21:25

A care or nursing home is not a non profit - they still need to get paid I am afraid

Unless they are 100% dependent on the NHS - sorry, I am in the US and and I am not sure if this is possible in the UK

They are not harassing you

silverlining48 Tue 10-Sept-24 14:51:38

Elderly residential and nursing homes are all privately owned and run. They were sold off in the 70/80s as was domiciliary care, Childrens homes, prisons, probation, gas, electricity, water, council houses, much of the more profitable areas of the nhs, public transport, all sold off at the behest of the Conservative government.
The execs pay themselves handsomely, with huge bonuses added, shareholders get dividends, they all get rich, and little is reinvested to improve these vital public services which benefit us all.

Quercus Tue 10-Sept-24 15:24:46

It is not harassment. Your husband needs care. You can either take him home and care for him yourself or pay for his care elsewhere. Your DH has his pension and attendance allowance to contribute to the bill and the rest will need to come from his savings. Care is expensive because of staff and other costs. The figure you quote is not excessive, my relative is paying over £7k per month in a nursing home. Many homes cannot provide adequate care on what social services pay for those with minimal savings, and other relatives have to act as guarantors to top it up. You are fortunate that CHC funding has contributed at all, it is difficult to get. Pay the bill and seek advice, as other posters have suggested.

Rekarie Tue 10-Sept-24 15:48:16

Sago

A POA can only be granted if thee is full mental capacity.

In those cases you apply to the Court of Protection.

We had this with my mother. My father, a difficult man, wouldn’t set up a POA as he was never going to die. And no he didn't have cognitive problems!

So we got a Court of Protection order. It took a few weeks. Endless forms. But we managed it in the end.

Solicitors will apply for you but at quite an expense.

OldFrill Tue 10-Sept-24 16:03:52

Sago

A POA can only be granted if thee is full mental capacity.

Mental capacity is fluid. Provided the person is deemed to have mental capacity at the time they are giving consent PoA can be made.

grandtanteJE65 Wed 11-Sept-24 12:41:50

I think you need a solicitor to help you navigate here, but failing that ,if your husband is still capable of managing his financial affairs himself, then you need to tell both the manergeress and him, preferably face to face in his room, that he has to deal with the matter.

If he is not mentally capable, you need talk seriously with his GP about having a guardian appointed for your husband,

Who is actually paying for his care at the moment?

There is a lot here, I do not understand, as say you don't have a POA or a joint account, so who is actually supposed to be paying? You or your husband? His bank?

Your bank should also be able to advise you on the financial issues.

If you or he owe the home money at present, then getting your bank to help you draw up a spreadsheet of your and your husband's expenses and income and a plan for paying off what you owe, should make discussions with the care home easier.

Do consult a solicitor - you need one.

Twig14 Wed 11-Sept-24 13:07:20

Hello I read your messsge and I feel so very sorry for you. I lost my wonderful extremely with it 104 year old mum on Monday at her care home. My mum was in the home for almost 4 years she was self funding I paid £4,600 a month for her. However, money was running out n
Like you was worried what I could do. I approached the local authority they took the payments over at 5% interest which I will pay back when my mums modest house is sold. Incidentally the house was due to be completed today but as my mum died Monday my power of attorney finished n now have to go to Probate which I’m told by solicitors coukd take up to 16 weeks now in danger of the purchaser pulling out. Exchange n completion was all being done today. My advice is go to see someone at the local authority. Hope you get some help