Very unfair that Carers Allowance is not paid to pensioners

I 2 nd try claiming for attendance allowance. I believe it’s the most underclaimed benefit. Pleeeez do it.

I am a full time carer for my wife who has MND, I have been so for about 2 years.
The allowances we get are
Attendance Allowance[ both retired ]
Just received 25% of our council tax
Blue badge
Now in contact with our local council about, Severely mentally impaired[ horrid name ], which can also reduce council tax.
Also have a look at Social Tariffs, gas, electric, water and broadband.
It will depend on your suppliers. Try their websites
This site may help.

www.socialtariff.co.uk/water-social-tariff-am-i-eligible/

Bit of a faff finding things, but could help.

Apply for Attendance allowance but get help to do so Register with your local carers centre and as a carer with your GP I hear your frustration re carers but you must count your blessings that you have them because care packages are as rare as hens teeth I cared for my husband 24/7 for years so I know how difficult it is

This was over 10 years ago now, but I seem to remember that my parents were entitled to Carers Allowance, for looking after each other. (If I am correct, then maybe the rules have changed). My parents were loathe to apply but were told that they should. They also received Attendance Allowance. I could not apply for Carers allowance as I was over pensionable age.

Primrose53 . U should definitely get attendance allowance as others have said . Getting used to caring for a disabled husband takes a long time maybe never - letting go of so many things - I find doing the jobs he used to do as well as mine very - dare I say it wearing and often get v cross with the bins. People keep saying I should get more help now he is deteriorating more- he has limbic onset mnd - but so far I cannot see what they can do - I would like it if people understood that it’s not the caring bits like helping them move or dress or cooking etc that are necessarily hard but more the loss one feels of your partnership- I say it’s like there’s no one to just make me a cup of tea any more . My youngest daughter is a brilliant carer but gave up working for any agency or council because of the stress of time managed ‘ appointments “ with vunerable people - of course money is the main issue and a poor system of care .

Pebbles101, You are right. I get frustrated with being told there's a cobweb there [we live in the country so seem to get a lot of spiders].
It is nice when someone comes and makes dinner, and clean up afterwards.
Primrose53, You have to have an outside interest, it's not being selfish, it's maintaining your own sanity. I have a drama group.
It's just getting someone to sit with your partner.

Agreeing with the suggestions here for AA: also try contacting your local Carers organisation, who could provide help for both of you. Re the visiting carers, my daughter did this and they have such a heavy workload, don't have any time allowed to travel between jobs, and she ended up with parking tickets due to having to try and park as near to her jobs as possible. An impossible task sometimes!

I found with my Father that a private agency still comes when they want to and not at a time to suit the person who is paying for the care.
Most private agencies also work for the local authority, the only difference being you would be paying, while a lot of people have the 6 week entitlement after leaving hospital or means tested free care. The best help would be via a self employed person if you can find a good kind person. I do hope that you can find the right care for your husband.

My mums carers have to wear disposable shoe covers, and they get delivered to my mum via social services, that is the rule to stop bringing germs in the house on their shoes. Not my mums rules but the companies rule, mum gets her carers from social services.

Can't you claim attendance allowance,give it a go?

GrauntyHelen

Apply for Attendance allowance but get help to do so Register with your local carers centre and as a carer with your GP I hear your frustration re carers but you must count your blessings that you have them because care packages are as rare as hens teeth I cared for my husband 24/7 for years so I know how difficult it is

This care is onlyfor 6 weeks.

I would be researching private carer companies now to give you time to shop around. Personal recommendation is always the most reliable but your SS Carers coordinator may also have recommendations. I found her very helpful.

The six weeks free care package is a bonus but will flash past.
I initially resisted the idea of somebody coming into our home, but soon welcomed the extra pair of hands and oddly, moral support.
Ours would shower/wash DH and help him dress, make the bed or change it when necessary and stayed to see him safely downstairs.
Timing could be erratic, but this didn’t matter in the morning as DH could have breakfast in bed, read the paper on his iPad etc.
Evening were trickier and they often turned up just as I had helped DH get ready for bed - but if we had been paying privately perhaps we could have insisted on more exact timing.
As it turned out DH had a fall not long after the “free” care package had expired, ended up in hospital and died there a few days later.
If possible try not to resent the carers, yes they range from fantastic to not great, but if you can learn how to use them to your benefit they can give you that little bit of breathing space.
Good luck. 💐💐

I wish you luck in negotiating the hoops you'll have to jump through to get anything at all out of the DWP. You - and your GP - will need persistence in buckets.

I'm a full time carer for my husband who has alzheimers, he gets attendance allowance, but as we're both pensioners, and get our state pension I don't get carers allowance, it's classed as a benefit, and they say you can't get 2 benefits,you can also download a form for severe mental impairment, get your gp to tick the boxes and sign it ...gp can't charge for this...then send it to your local council to get a reduction in council tax. it's a very hard and demanding job especially as we get older,and although we do it for our loved ones, I think we are taken advantage of, when I was in my 40's I was a carer,,,I only lasted 6 weeks, we were not given travelling time between clients,eg
one client 8am till 8.30...next client 10 miles away 8.30 till 9am
impossible task.

BlueBelle

Can I just add as Granniesunite said my Dads carers became his friends and loved him they would do anything for him within their means he really looked forward to their visits Most were from other countries and at first he was scared they wouldn’t understand him but they were wonderful with him two or three even came to his funeral A young Portuguese man was a real friend and went over and above when he could

I do wish you good luck I m sure you are still in shock with all the changes

I too would like to add to what Granniesunite said. My late husband had a massive stroke in 2006, I have written about it many times on here. I also had to give up work overnight. He was in hospital for 6 months and the last 2 weeks after the consultant finally agreed to him coming home and me caring for him we came home with a care package in place like Primrose has. I was determined to be his main carer so they trained me the last 2 weeks to do everything the carers would do, but due to not being able to have a ceiling hoist I had to have one carer with me when we hoisted and also needed it for rolling when dressing as we was totally paralysed.
I immediately told the domiciliary company only to send one carer and we would work together, it took time, but you need patience and willingness to adapt. I trained the carers to work to the system I had learnt and showed them how I required them to do things. In the beginning I had 32 slots in a week, and just as many different carers but I soon got that down to a team of 8. Be grateful for your first 6 free weeks, we never had that in our days, but these carers you are getting are from Rapid Response/UCR or whatever they are called in your area, they have to cover as many people as possible each day and have many emergencies so can't give definite slots.. When your 6 weeks are up you will be able to use private PAs and pay for them with a budget on direct Payments if you are funded by Adult Care or if you savings or a high income then you will be self funding but you will still be able to find your own carers and don't have to a domiciliary company if you do not wish to, although it is much easier at times.. You can chose a small team, but just enough to cover all the slots, holidays and sickness and my word, you will be glad of these angels who help you daily care for your husband, which you simply cannot do single handed. You sound angry that life has dealt you this enormous blow, I hope that will pass and you will start to make the best of a bad situation. I was determined to live as normal as possible a life and we went out every single day just as we used to. Yes it takes a long time to get ready in the morning, I always allowed 2 1/2 hours and likewise at night. Sorting medication, appointments, finding suitable clothes and all these things are so difficult initially but it all becomes your new normal. The sooner you accept that this is how it is going to be the better a life you can have together. Your husband must be feeling your resentfulness and this is definitely not good for either of you. Be grateful your husband survived this large stroke, so many do not. I wish you luck with settling in to your new normal and feel sure you will soon be able to see things in a better light, Have you got Stroke Association support in your area, we did not, but I know they are great support to some.

Primrose53

BlueBelle

I think you are missing out on allowances Primrose ask your GP to send you a social worker you will be surprised at what you can get to help you both in money and in appliances
Please don’t be so down on the carers they are rushing though traffic to get from placement to a placement it’s not an easy job they are only allowed a certain amount of time fr each so perhaps do have to rush
Six Weeks free care really is a generous offer for most people

I think you are understandably very ‘down’ at the recent change of events and you may need some help yourself Life is not a bowl of cherries when illness takes over but help is out there you just need to find it and that can be difficult
Good luck Primrose

All I expect is for them to assist us for the time they are supposed to be here. The other night one woman stayed for 8 minutes.

Whatever I think would be really useful, they say they are not allowed to do. Tidy the bed …. No. Give medication …. No. Use a piece of equipment to move to another room ….. no. Even though instruction book says it can be used.

I would LOVE to ring the Manager and say the service is great but it really isn’t.

You don't have to accept these visits, you can cell them and find your own carers straight away, but of course you will have to pay. The reason it is free is because they are an after care service which only does what it is essential. When you start having either PA~s or domiciliary care you are in charge because you will be paying and you can start to tell them what you would like and insist they stay the time you are paying for. It does not matter if you are being funded that is still the case because you are in fact paying their wages. Have patience and get these 6 weeks over and done with, then start afresh. Why not employ a cleaner for a few weeks to help you through the initial period until you are all settled in to a routine. It will happen, but you will need a positive attitude for it to work. Good luck.

win

BlueBelle

Can I just add as Granniesunite said my Dads carers became his friends and loved him they would do anything for him within their means he really looked forward to their visits Most were from other countries and at first he was scared they wouldn’t understand him but they were wonderful with him two or three even came to his funeral A young Portuguese man was a real friend and went over and above when he could

I do wish you good luck I m sure you are still in shock with all the changes

I too would like to add to what Granniesunite said. My late husband had a massive stroke in 2006, I have written about it many times on here. I also had to give up work overnight. He was in hospital for 6 months and the last 2 weeks after the consultant finally agreed to him coming home and me caring for him we came home with a care package in place like Primrose has. I was determined to be his main carer so they trained me the last 2 weeks to do everything the carers would do, but due to not being able to have a ceiling hoist I had to have one carer with me when we hoisted and also needed it for rolling when dressing as we was totally paralysed.
I immediately told the domiciliary company only to send one carer and we would work together, it took time, but you need patience and willingness to adapt. I trained the carers to work to the system I had learnt and showed them how I required them to do things. In the beginning I had 32 slots in a week, and just as many different carers but I soon got that down to a team of 8. Be grateful for your first 6 free weeks, we never had that in our days, but these carers you are getting are from Rapid Response/UCR or whatever they are called in your area, they have to cover as many people as possible each day and have many emergencies so can't give definite slots.. When your 6 weeks are up you will be able to use private PAs and pay for them with a budget on direct Payments if you are funded by Adult Care or if you savings or a high income then you will be self funding but you will still be able to find your own carers and don't have to a domiciliary company if you do not wish to, although it is much easier at times.. You can chose a small team, but just enough to cover all the slots, holidays and sickness and my word, you will be glad of these angels who help you daily care for your husband, which you simply cannot do single handed. You sound angry that life has dealt you this enormous blow, I hope that will pass and you will start to make the best of a bad situation. I was determined to live as normal as possible a life and we went out every single day just as we used to. Yes it takes a long time to get ready in the morning, I always allowed 2 1/2 hours and likewise at night. Sorting medication, appointments, finding suitable clothes and all these things are so difficult initially but it all becomes your new normal. The sooner you accept that this is how it is going to be the better a life you can have together. Your husband must be feeling your resentfulness and this is definitely not good for either of you. Be grateful your husband survived this large stroke, so many do not. I wish you luck with settling in to your new normal and feel sure you will soon be able to see things in a better light, Have you got Stroke Association support in your area, we did not, but I know they are great support to some.

Spot on, I AM angry and resentful but I reckon that’s fairly normal in this situation. I never show that side to my husband, never. I am always positive with him and help him with his exercises, sourcing information, making calls etc. he has been very depressed because he is normally so active. Riding - both motorbikes and horses, doing DIY, gardening, washing our vehicles regularly, still working part time etc.

I have only felt grateful to two of the carers we have had out of about 20. They don’t save me any time at all, they don’t clear up after themselves and most of them show no interest in my husband. They are from county council not Rapid Response.

You sound far more accepting than me but I also had 14 years of caring for my Mum and one of my offspring has special needs so has needed loads more help than most kids for 40 years. I had hoped for just a few years doing stuff I wanted to do. Don’t care if tha sounds selfish, it’s how I feel.

It’s your dh that claims it so not you. In that respect many pensioners get it.

But your DH and maybe yourself could get Attendance Allowance. Please do contact Age UK to find out what your eligible for. Best of luck.

Age uk are very helpful. My husband had 3 strokes, 3 years ago and I’ve cared for him ever since. The carers from the agency were good, but you have to be clear what you want them to do, which is hard at first as you don’t know yourself. I stopped using them a few months after the 6 weeks and now employ 2 private carers, cheaper than the agency, consistent, and they do what they are asked to do. Much better. I agree it’s the adjustment that’s really hard, took me 2 years of grieving before I fully accepted the new situation. You’re suddenly on your own but you’re not! I’ve never had to look after anyone before so found the transition hard. I make sure I get regular breaks and am working harder than I ever have. I worry about getting older and having to do it and that there’s no one to look after me. But you just get on with it. There is a very good social app for carers which offers a lot of support and practical help.mobilise look them up, really good. Good luck! 🤞🏻

I have been caring for my husband for many years and it is a full time job! And tiring.
Your husband is entitled to professional care and if the carers are not excellent you need to tell their manager.
I have learnt and so has my friend that you need to be 'in charge' ... keep a diary of care issues, every day, noting what the carers are doing etc. What care you need for your husband...this all sounds daunting but you will have all your issues in black and white.....helps when talking to people about your carers or your husband.
Have you had a full carers assessment? This assessment is for YOU. Your needs and advice on benefits, finance
This is a huge change to your life a big shock...its not easy. If you need to sleep/nap do it....
I hope you don't think I am being bossy....
Carers UK, Age Concern , Citizens Advice Bureau can all advise you.

One step at a time.. Wishing you both well

Primrose, I just want to add my voice to others here saying that you must fit in time to do what you like to do . Your batteries need recharging for your own wellbeing.
Once you have control over the carers, it might be easier to be more clear on what you want done ( and don't) : my Mum's carers were great and did what we wanted them to do.
One wasn't great, so we contacted the agency to say that we did mot want her again.
Good luck.

Hi. Call adult social care you are in need of a carers assessment for yourself as well as husband, Call age UK they are great, when you are filling in the Attendance allowance forms bace answers on worst day I got my daughter to do my husbands, letters from hospital and doctor the questions are! One thing there is a question about can you cook yourself a meal, that's not a ping meal it's a proper one. Also Blue badge. Can add this Facebook group Mobilese - the community for unpaid carers Fountain information were no question is silly.

I don't understand why people keep posting about attendance allowance. The OP is questioning why she, as a carer, can't get carers allowance. Attendance allowance would be something her husband can claim for himself but why shouldn't she get something as a carer that is paid to carers?

Apply for attendance allowance I will be in the same boat in aug I will be so much worse off when I get my pension