Gally Your message was very moving. Enjoy your visit. Much to look forward to. [flower]
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Last night was my first night alone, rattling around in our big old house, since Mr.G died. I have never lived on my own before having gone straight from home to marriage. My daughters have all returned to their families, so now it's just me. I know it will be a long, sad journey but I'm sure in time I will get accustomed to it. Do any other widowed Grans have any advice for me? I know I have to keep busy, accept any invitations to do things and generally be open to any offers that are going. I also have to spend a long time sorting out the house which over the past 3 weeks has become a tip (!). I can't face going through Mr.G's posessions yet so they will all stay put until I feel ready. Any suggestions on 'how to cope' would be welcome. 
Gally I havn't forgot about my trip to Fleetwood to the R.N.L.I I hope to go some time in August. 
Elegran Wise words, as usual.
Biker 
Georgie and I never got to Fairlight with the ashes last friday - she had a baby instead, so J is still in my suitcase!! Will wait until she is feeling stronger - hope I don't have to lug him back home again 
. We make a joke of it as it helps the grieving, but we have had some tears too since I arrived and I am missing him dreadfully especially now there's a new baby and the other gc's ask about him - how he would love to be playing with them. Barney,5, asked me yesterday, a propos of nothing as I was driving him to swimming lessons, 'is Grandad still in the ground?'. I was stumped as of course he isn't. He thinks all people go into the ground after they have died.
gally {{{hug}}}
from me too, gally
Oh gally
Good morning Gally . We have a similar situation in my family, trying to find that special day for scattering my nephew's ashes and plant a tree in his favourite spot by a lake. The time will present itself, we know. Meanwhile, a few tears thinking of the months that have gone by.
I hope you're getting some comfort from those lovely baby cuddles
Gally I know it's not quite the same, but mostly I joke about my dad, and then occasionally tears just overwhelm me. I have lots of little notes he wrote when he was going downhill, and finding one that says "Thanks for everything, love you Chris", is so bitter sweet.
Glad you've got a new baby to cuddle
Gally
Maybe your husband wasn't quite ready to be scattered Gally, knowing that the new baby was on its way. This way he has been very much there for the event. I do hope you will have time to scatter the ashes as you planned
You've got a point there Nightowl
nightowl Not at all! You may have a point - he was always very laid back and I always said he'd be late for his own funeral - he wasn't - I made sure of that!
Elegran
I still have some ashes left at home and can't bring myself to scatter those last reminders; it seems a bit surreal having him on the proverbial mantlepiece. It'sa comfort thing, so as long as it does the trick, he's staying! Each time I go into the dining room where I sometimes work on the big old table, I chat to 'him' and ask advice and when no answer comes I say ' ok you silly old......., don't answer me then!' So, for the time being, he's staying on the floor next to the old pine church pew. As you say Elegran it's lovely to be able to go to the scattering places which were familiar to both of us - the burn, the beach, the rose bush etc....
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