Boasting alert!

Greatnan your daughter has chosen to reject all your offers of love and support for the moment - please don't beat yourself up by taking responsibility for her behaviour - you have explained where she is in her thinking after the trials you have all been through, and she now has a choice as to whether she can move on, too. You have talked about forgiveness and being ready for her when she comes back to you, and she will have learned that from you, herself. She may have that capacity to reach out and forget the past, too - she just hasn't got to the stage of exercising it yet. Take care xx

Greatnan, your last sentence saddens me. How can you possibly still blame yourself for making 'a mess' of your relationship with your other daughter? We do sometimes just have to accept that there are things that are beyond out control or responsibility - and just go forward, as you do most of the time.

Greatnan, you didn't make a mess of the relationship with your other daughter. Circumstances took over that you could have done nothing to avert. You did your absolute utmost. I don't suppose anything that anyone can say will make you feel better, but try to reassure yourself that you did all you could, and still kept trying. .

Thank you all - her mum is certainly hard working - she got her OU degree in Health Studies when all six children were still at home and she was working full time. She was a bit worried when they moved to NZ that she would miss her professional career, but the whole point of going was to give them a better lifestyle, where she would be at home for the children and for her lovely husband when he was not working (he is a captain on the Interisland ferries and works one week on and one week off). Of course, with a two acre garden, livestock and voluntary work, she is as busy as ever.
My SIL is very helpful and when she was working and he was at home he would have a lovely meal waiting for her, and the house woud be immaculate.
He is also very tall, very handsome, very intelligent - no more than she deserves, of course!
She wanted to give the children a strong work ethic and it has certainly worked.
Seeing what a total mess I seem to have made of my relationship with her sister, her happiness is a great comfort to me.

What a great achievement for your GD - it's wonderful to know she is so well thought of. She must take after her enterprising mum and nan.

That's so good, Greatnan! Well done to them all.

Good for her!

How fantastic Greatnan - you are justifiably proud of her

Lovely news Greatnan

And from me Greatnan you must be very proud!

Congratulations * greatnan* you must feel very proud.