Some days it's just so hard to stay strong...

greatnan Thanks. You are right about the feelings. I have now accepted the situation. At least I'm not thinking about it every day now - probably once a week!!

No annobel.. ...jus ' l'il ole me..........how's the shoulder todayxxx

janthea - I can empathise exactly with your experience. At first, you are shocked, amazed, distraught, but after a time you just accept that your family member is the one with the problem and you get on with your life. It is particularly sad when adult children are forced to take sides, even though all the hostility has been in one direction.

janthea

You can't choose your relatives, thank God we can choose our friends!

whenim64/Ella46/Soop/gillybob I would like nothing better, but it wasn't just a silly misunderstanding. She made wild accusations against my daughter, her husband, me, things relating to our childhood. She seems a very, very bitter person and has been harbouring thes evil thoughts for many years. I can't see it ever being resolved. She's not someone who will ever admit to being wrong and nothing is ever her fault. She has been like this all our lives. I have always backed down and let it wash over me because she's my only sister. Even now, I didn't stand up to her because my daughters asked me to stay out of it so I wouldn't be involved in her vendetta. But she swept everything away in her awake and destroyed any feelings we may have for her. To be so vindictive and bitter, she must be a very unhappy person. No one can act like that and be happy. Even if I tried to get in touch, I would be rebuffed. I've seen this happen with her and her friends. She suddenly takes against someone for absolutely no reason and then makes it her mission in life to destroy them. Staff have been sacked and friends ostracised. She has no real friends. I always thought that we, as her family, were immune to this behaviour, but I found out to our dismay that we were not. To be honest something of the things she said and wrote were frankly libellous and slanderous.

Thank you for all you kind wishes.

nellie you ought to be a script writer. You aren't are you?

nellie You, my dear, are a wordsmith ...love a garage of grandads

soop you don't owe me anything friendship is reward in itself ....

A garage of grandads?...a few loose nuts,a few tyred models,lots of vintage parts,and an engine under every bonnet that needs encouraging to fire on all four cylinders,but when it does purrs like a good un,and an oily mechanic only to happy to polish our headlights,check our bodywork,and shake a chassis or two......

If that's a good collective noun for grannies, what would we use for grandpas?

Argh! nellie editor tells me that issue already printed. Sob! Ah well, now I don't owe you "nuffink"

nellie Wish I'd thought of Celebration of Grannies for the title of my article in this coming Fri's Lady mag. It would have been perfect. Fear too late now. May ask editor if he can arrange the title. How much will I owe you in royalties? And...keep away from that nice Pete.

Well I am always up for a lark annobel ....I too am off up the wooden hill,am definitely not an owl,two pages of my book and I will asleep...sweet dreams hope your shoulder is better....night night all god bless youxxxxxx

Getting much better thanks, nellie. I'm just persuading myself to go to bed now. Why is it that I feel so much more tired at lunchtime than at bedtime? I guess I'm an owl not a lark.

The value of this forum though is that you can be sure that those who do respond, respond effectively - either by offering advice or empathy through a similar experience - or an expression of sympathy. It helps. Responses from absolutely everyone would be overwhelming.

* glass*
annobel is that better xx

nellie you are a treasure.. no I did not say a relic

That's comforting nellie. Just keep going!

virtual massage coming your way Annobel
A celebration cos were all sweeties,a good mixture,some soft ,some nutty,good for sharing,and handy to have around at Christmas
greenanytime,anything You would like to sharexxxhugs

That's a lovely description, nellie - 'a celebration of grannies'. Could do with a cosy shawl sometimes. The b****y shoulder is very unhappy this week!

Bless you, nellieddeane. I'll remember that. xx

What a wonderful celebration of grannies you are.stepping in here is like a cosy shawl cuddling round your shoulders.Good times and bad times we stick together,supporting and sharing.....love you allxxxxxx
would be happy for anyone to inbox me if they feel that there is something I can support them with and give a virtual shoulder too... and hugsxxx

Janthea I'm an only child and always wanted a brother or sister. I don't understand sibling rivalry, and I think that's why I find it so upsetting when my dd and ds can't forgive or understand each other.
I hope your situation resolves soon