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A very senior moment

(35 Posts)
absentgrana Thu 28-Jun-12 11:56:50

Wrapped in my bath robe and all freshly showered and shiny, I trotted downstairs into the kitchen and asked Mr absent, "Do we have any Viagra?"
An expression of panic crossed his face, he gulped and squeaked, "Why?"
"Oh, the usual reason," I replied nonchalantly.
He blanched.
"Both shower heads have a bit of limescale and could do with a soak."
His mouth twitching, Mr asbsent went to the appropriate cupboard and found a bottle of Viacal. The showerheds are soaking and I have just about stopped blushing. blush

Anagram Thu 28-Jun-12 12:00:23

That's wonderful, absent! grin

Bags Thu 28-Jun-12 12:10:23

grin grin

glammanana Thu 28-Jun-12 12:17:38

absent priceless !!! grin has mr.absent recovered yet ?

glassortwo Thu 28-Jun-12 12:17:43

absent grin grin has Mr Absent recovered from the shock.

glammanana Thu 28-Jun-12 12:18:29

glass great minds ?

glassortwo Thu 28-Jun-12 12:25:57

grin I thought I had posted twice grin

gracesmum Thu 28-Jun-12 12:33:52

Bless him - he must have thought it was his birthday and Christmas rolled into one! HAVE you stopped blushing yet? grin

JessM Thu 28-Jun-12 12:57:39

You have heard of Freudian slips haven't you absent ... grin

Butternut Thu 28-Jun-12 13:00:37

absent and Jess - grin grin

Ella46 Thu 28-Jun-12 13:02:35

absent grin wonderful!

Greatnan Thu 28-Jun-12 15:06:05

I loved it!

merlotgran Thu 28-Jun-12 15:35:04

Every Wednesday my nearly 94 yr old mother asks her hairdresser for a blow job. How the poor woman keeps a straight face I'll never know.

Annika Thu 28-Jun-12 15:47:08

merlotgran blush grin

mrshat Thu 28-Jun-12 16:27:13

'Thanks absent - a laugh out loud moment!

Ariadne Thu 28-Jun-12 16:59:29

absent merlot grin

nanaej Thu 28-Jun-12 17:17:49

That's what comes of writing porn novels!!

Was in school once on Shrove Tuesday when the head, who was was making pancakes in assembly in front of all the kids ..'I am not much of a tosser' says she....

dorsetpennt Thu 28-Jun-12 22:37:52

A friend I knew went to a Public school many years ago - the maths teacher would often announce that the next lesson would be a maths debate [say it quickly] grin

nanaej Thu 28-Jun-12 22:52:39

snigger, snigger went the class!

Joan Fri 29-Jun-12 08:05:40

At Heckmondwike grammar school around 1958 my friend was sitting next to a cupboard in a Latin lesson, when she suddenly noticed that the broken knob had been fixed. So this parson's daughter piped up and said "Have you had your knob mended, sir?"

nanaej Fri 29-Jun-12 08:11:03

The innocence of some and the naughtiness of others!! Always a 'snigger' combination.. in the best seaside postcard tradition! grin

cg Fri 29-Jun-12 11:31:04

My grandmother enjoyed drinking PLJ (pure lemon juice) bought from the local chemist. However, getting older and slightly confused, she regularly asked for LSD. Fortunately the staff knew her and handed over the lemon juice without comment.

cg Fri 29-Jun-12 11:38:34

The things teachers say could start a whole new thread!!
A colleague of mine many years ago was basing her weekly spelling list on the maths being taught that week which was fractions. She went through the usual - quarter, sixth etc. As I walked in she was saying to her class of nine year olds - don't forget the f in twelfths. Quite a moment! Fortunately the children didn't notice a thing - such innocence!

JessM Fri 29-Jun-12 16:22:04

When I was a science teacher there were 2 things one had to steer around carefully.
1. there was a piece of work on waves that had to be done early in "3rd year" - Y9. In order to create those waves across a water tank there was a bit of kit called a vibrator. Or "this thing that vibrates" as I used to say.
2. The "unfortunately named Wankel engine" - no way round it, had to preempt the sniggers by getting in first.

In that same waves topic, there was also a thing where there was a large perspex tank and teech had to make big waves on it with a plunger. Darn thing disintegrated one lesson, depositing about 3 gallons of water at my feet. Rest of lesson spent mopping up and laughing. Never really got control of that particular class after that - they kept waiting for another disaster.

Freda47 Fri 29-Jun-12 17:15:08

Our local Chinese restaurant has an assistant who always asks us, "D'you wanna fork 'n' tray?" (say it quickly...!)