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Could I have a hug please!

(30 Posts)
kittylester Thu 28-Jun-12 21:23:20

I feel bad for feeling bad! Someone with whom I have been friends since I was 4, but who I rarely see, has just written to say she has breast cancer. The prognosis is good but she has had quite a tough life - pregnant at 17, abandoned by the baby's father, wonderful support from her family but her son has huge learning difficulties. This has really rocked me after the news that one of my best friends and one of my husband's oldest friends both have uncurable/inoperable cancer.

I know it's not about me but I could crawl into a hole and howl!! I'm sure I will be back to normal tomorrow but at the moment it's all too much and I think it has brought home to me how fragile and precious life is, how blessed I have been and how time is never going to go backwards. sad

Bags Thu 28-Jun-12 21:26:17

(((hugs))), kitty and brew. Be kind to yourself in your sadness aboutnloved ones.

whitewave Thu 28-Jun-12 21:26:59

I think that there are a few of us on GN who are in remission from BC and we are all still alive and kicking. Not an easy time for your friend but if she has a good prognosis then there is everything to live for - jsut give her as much support as you can and will luck this time next year she will be well on the road to recovery

Anagram Thu 28-Jun-12 21:29:17

{{hug}} from me. Sadness can sometimes be overwhelming, I know.

jeni Thu 28-Jun-12 21:31:15

The prognosis now is better than it has ever been. She will need a lot of support though.
Be strong and there for her!
That's the best you can do!

Sook Thu 28-Jun-12 21:58:27

Big hugs kitty

Annobel Thu 28-Jun-12 21:58:44

((((hugs)))) kitty. Have a good cry now and then be strong for your friend. You can do it.

nelliedeane Thu 28-Jun-12 22:04:43

Big hugs for you kitty for being such a lovely friend....I too have a lovely friend who has lymphoma which has been in remission,and now has returned with a vengeance,it's true how fragile the human body is but sometimes our spirit is indominatable big hugsxxxxxxx

Ella46 Thu 28-Jun-12 22:17:15

(((hugs))) from me too kitty, you sound like the sort of friend they need. sunshine

glassortwo Thu 28-Jun-12 22:19:39

kitty cry for you both tonight, then tomorrow you can be strong and be there for her. Sending you a big {{{hug}}}

JessM Thu 28-Jun-12 22:21:06

have a good cry. It's oK to do that sometimes. I expect she will be fine if they have caught it fairly early.

whenim64 Thu 28-Jun-12 22:26:29

Get your crying out of the way now kitty and then be strong for your dear friend. There will be a few times you will feel like a weep - I often do that going home in the car when I've been for a laugh and a joke with my sister, who is going through a tough time (but winning at the moment!). We make each moment as enjoyable and companiable as we can, and share lots of texts and emails when I'm not with her (she isn't able to speak on the phone now). Knowing you are thinking about her and how she's doing will be such support to your friend. The odds are that she will come through it and live to fight another day, and you will be able to celebrate together. (((hugs))) smile

Butternut Thu 28-Jun-12 22:27:01

kitty {hug}. Take care.

Annika Thu 28-Jun-12 22:44:59

kitty (((hugs))) . flowers

yogagran Thu 28-Jun-12 22:47:56

Hugs for you kitty - you'll be a great support for your friend I'm sure and we'll all be here to support you flowers

gracesmum Thu 28-Jun-12 23:00:06

Sometimes it feels as if the world has more sorrow in it than we can bear. As the others have said, there is no shame in crying and then it is time to be there in whatever capacity your friend needs you most. Perhaps crying with her.That's what friends are for. hug from me too, and console yourself that you wouldn't be much of a friend if you didn't feel like you do xx

nanaej Thu 28-Jun-12 23:17:11

Hugs from me too kitty but please don't despair. I am sure that with friends like you she will be able to fight her illness. flowers
I have a friend..we were young teachers together (though she is about 10 years younger than me) who has just gone through 8 months of chemo and her recent MRI has shown a huge improvement and the prognosis is looking much better. She may be OK to see her youngest (12) through Uni..which is what she wants.

kittylester Fri 29-Jun-12 08:56:05

Thank you all for your support. I knew I could rely on you!! flowers

Loving thoughts to those of you going through tough times, too. flowers

I feel silly being more upset about the friend with the good prognosis after 'coping' with the two not so good ones! I suppose it's just the giddy limit! My husband is also finding the awful prognosis for his friend (of nearly 50 years) very difficult to deal with. gracesmum sometimes there does seem too much sadness of one sort or another in the world.

Anyway, onward and upward! Middle daughter is moving out today (phew!) Youngest daughter is running away to get married next week (phew!), it's my elder brother's 60th party on Saturday (don't know how that happened!) and I'm off out for lunch with my friend and another friend.

Thank you all again! brewcupcake

GoldenGran Fri 29-Jun-12 09:09:18

Kitty love and hugs from me, you are being a good friend,be strong.
I have been there with 2 friends, and over ten years on they are both going strong and cancer free. Enjoy the day, and brother's party. Xflowers

Ariadne Fri 29-Jun-12 09:13:46

kitty (((((hugs))))) yes, as whitewave says, there quite a few of us in remission, but I bet we can all remember the devastation we felt on diagnosis. You will, and clearly are, a good and loving friend and you will be an enormous support. xxx

AlisonMA Fri 29-Jun-12 10:18:17

Seems I've come to this a bit late Kitty and you are coping better today. Doesn't it all just come at once? Life heaps it on and then suddenly it hits hard and we go down.

I think of all those emails about not keeping the best china, glass, clothes, jewellery etc for best and enjoy them now. None of knows what is round the corner so make the most of now. Love and play hard now, while we can.

Stansgran Fri 29-Jun-12 10:38:45

Carpe Diem- Seize the day even the Romans had bad days but good advice

absentgrana Fri 29-Jun-12 10:39:27

Glad you're feeling a bit stronger and less battered by life today kitty. It's still okay to have a weep if you need it. I hope all goes well for your newly diagnosed friend.

Grannylin Fri 29-Jun-12 11:16:17

kitty Best wishes to you. By feeling so much stronger today, I think you have proved how cathartic it is to 'let it all out' rather than go to bed pondering and worrying all night. Here's to happiness and sunshine for the weekend.

kittylester Fri 29-Jun-12 16:43:22

Hi everyone - just to let you know that I met my friend with the 'uncurable but treatable' cancer along with another friend for lunch today and we had one of the best times ever. I'm know 'you lot' made me feel brighter and that helped a lot! She is seeing the consultant on Tuesday for an update after her barrage of tests but she seems very upbeat and we laughed a lot about all the other things going on. So thank you again.

To add a really surreal note, my butcher's dog has breast cancer!