Lil's Bar

I've been resting, as did Gladiators of old ,after a strenouos "engagement"
in the "ring". Does this give a clue to you gels?
I am away for a few days, to a retreat for Retired Gentlemen. Also to lern ;ow ter talk proper like - innit?
Keep it warm for me dear Laydees! (The tripe!)

I do hope your 'parts' are restored to their former glory after your stay at the clinic Retreat, gramps. It must be very painful......

Unbelievable.... Just bumped into gramps He came out of Lil's back door dressed like a Gladiator Anyone fancy a night-cap, I have a well stocked bar

That wasn't a gladiator outfit,that was Lils best bed sheet,gramps couldn't find his clothes....

What I'd like to know is...how is it that gramps can claim to like my ankles? Anyways, the retreat for retired gentlemen sounds awfully iffy. If he turns up wearing Lil's bed sheet [in the wee small hours] he may find himself adopted as the in-house phantom.

Well, if the 'retreat for Retired Gentlemen' is a euphemism for ' Lil's Private Quarters' I don't know who gramps thinks is going to teach him how to speak proper!

Ana do you mean 'Talk proper-like?'

Yeah - innit?

Wot?

I know nuffink!

My dear fiends, R U ok?
I got 'ere after a long trip. I'm startin' me electrocution laessons very soon now. Incloods spellin' misteaks an' 'ow to cure them!
This is a 'igh class hestablishment wot I am in. We have indeevidual coaching, like one to one.
The teechers are pretty, good at most facets( new word, see!) of waffle and
twaddle. Keep an eye 0n our Pete 'cos 'e gits lonely around mid-day, and is tempted by Ample Bosom, wot does 'im no good wotsever!
Must now get back to my tutor and study in my study. Cleaners brooms and mop buckets make it a bit cramped like, innit?
Back in a few days!

Gramps

Glad you didn't put wish you where heregramps why have they put an old soldier in the broom cupboard,how rude...is * mrsG* with you,or shouldn't we ask...your not looking for fifi are you..

Don't mention Fifi nellie I'm still heartbroken...... Fancy a stroll by the 'old mill' by any chance....

Would do but am playing with my new toy at the moment.....maybe later

Be VERY careful with that new toy nellie I've seen some very nasty injuries from vacuum cleaners in my time!

Nellie rushes up to her apartment to change into something more comfortable.Pete takes a leisurely stroll towards the 'old mill.' Whilst he waits, he'll strum on his ukulele...

Never heard it called that before soop mind you, I've had a sheltered life

Does many a good tune on an old fiddle have the effect on an old ukulele
Thank you jeni won't be standing on any chairs now I have my new gadget...

Depends how well-plucked the strings...Nellie

I think the whole thing needs an overhaul and a retune........

How is your plectrum * pete*...

Not sure nellie well not without a mirror.....

Be careful ....the difference between you and a turkey?.....the turkey got plucked at Christmas. ....

And also stuffed.....seems such a long time since I last pulled a cracker or enjoyed a nice juicy bird...