Lil's Bar

May we have chairs with proper backs, please - I can't sit upright on a stool all night, after a bottle of Chablis.

Greatnan there will a list for customer requests left on the bar. Nellie will peruse before asking ordering the chaps to organise things.

Free drinks all round today..team bonding exercise today...

This is all great, shall we have a team photo too, there must be an experienced photographer who is probably already propping up the bar or on their way to join the merry throng, please note I haven't spelt that wrongly. This is all above board and we can also welcome the fact that the Jet Stream is finally moving north and we will have SUN sooooon. . It does wonders for the spirit!! And Littlenellie's Homecoming.

I'm sneaking in unobserved, I hope!

I'm not DRINKING this pint, Oh no -I have to check it's quality and "Thickness", Something called viscosity, I think! Damn, me lens has fallen aht me flippin' glasses agin, straight into Pete' pewter tankard, wots arf full too. 'opes 'e don't swaller it!

Slainte! Maggie...good to see you looking so fetching in your beautiful summery dress. Love the flower in your hair. What with the opening of Lil's new bar and on the way, we've all good cause to celebrate.

Would I please be able to apply for the post of assistant to the assistant dishwasher? I have suitably bad hygiene habits and am not averse to wiping the floor with the teatowel, though only when no-one's looking. I wait in anticipation for your reply...Yours obsequiously, Green Teeth.

Did you get my dt , er,ng WOTS it called Nell, CD? OH, thats a long name -
curriculum vitae!
I couldn't spell that!

It's good to see you again Nell .. mind you I'd prefer to see you through the bottom of a pint glass! .. I'll take a team photo .. after all I've taken enough team shots of my local rugby club.

green I cannot speak for Lil. I'm told she has lofty standards!

Snappy lad,
Thanks mate! Can I get you a G&T? [G&T]

snap The bar is filling up. Standing room only. Lots of merry banter and chinking of glasses. Isn't it good to have such an 'upmarket' virtual local?

I'm not sure you're in the right bar, soop!
This lot are from the local homeless shelter - gramps let them in by mistake, thinking they were the vice squad!

Anagram Ah! I'm in the upmarket snug all leather uphostery and highly polished tables. I know my place

Ahem! A gentleman has just wandered in looking all casual and carefree. He's wearing a trilby hat pulled down over his eyes, a false nose and thick lens specs...and the beard looks a little too long and shaggy for his age. I've a very strong suspicion that the afore-mentioned gent is none other than gramps in disguise.

SSHHHHHHHhhhh!

My glasses make me feel as I've made a spectacle of myself!

Can I crawl under this table? OOops , Sorry madam!

Pete here? Has he found my lens yet? It landed in his pewter pint pot, and sunk out of sight!

That doesn't explain the disguise, gramps. I thought you were supposed to be on the door?

I let some nice people in 'cos I thought they said "advice" squad!

Well, I'm just going to do a bit of on-site training, to see if anyone notices how high my low hygiene standards are. No-one will notice me, because I'm quite low down in the pecking order of the kitchen. I'll just give my protruding toenail a bit of a trim, seeing as it's sticking out of my plimsoll - oh! Nevermind, they'll never notice that in amongst the pork scratchings....right, I'll just go and find the pig-swill bucket there may just be something there....

green, I think you have definitely brought the tone down a notch or two - Lil will be pleased!

OLD! Yes - soldier -- NO, THey would not let me join as my only wartime experience was the Crimea. Sort of, neither "ea" or there like!!

I can look bigger if I blow up me inflatable vest wot I found under me seat on an aeroplane a few weeks ago! Its got a whistle and a little light too!

I've got a bit of a limp. Think its the damp in the cellar - not that I'm complaining though!

I've not even had my interview yet.....I do hope that when Lil returns from the 'clinic' that she feels I'm good enough . I hear that the selection panel for my post can be pretty tough on job candidates. I've found the pig-swill bucket, but what is this in here.....oh, the teatowels are steeping....I'll just give them a bit of a stir round......or is it the grandchildren's nappies..oh it's ok, it's tripe, I think......

Cheers to you Soop, glad you like the dress and flower, you scrub up nicely too, are you ready for another drink yet and some nibbles, and where are the rest of the gang, some are still travelling here maybe, there is plenty of space for more, maybe GN HQ might like to drop in before going home?
Where is Pete ?