Lil's Bar 2

Just a pint for me Lil please, what night is the Karaoke on? May need to clean me 'Lounge Lizard' velvet jacket

Sorry I'm late. Chucked the last of the Twink on the embers of the woodburner last night to clean the chimney. Fire Brigade didn't leave until this morning as they fell asleep after inhaling the fumes. Cost me two loaves of bread and sixty rashers of bacon for breakfast and my dreadlocks have fallen out. I need a large

Fallen out! I'm sure gramps will lend you his deerstalker hat, Merlot - it's the least he can do....I'm sure you need that large !

It's on me merlot large one! Oh and don't go near the fire in the snug...just in case Cheers

I never got on with those crackyoaky machines, they always cheat and finish the words before I do!

Ana...you finished that book yet?

gramps just go last 'cos no one gives a monkeys then

Just what I need Ana Cheers, gramps. It will stop the Twink induced acid rain burning the back of my neck.

Finished it? Blimey, I fell asleep after the first chapter....only 1,790 pages to go, though! Should see me through the winter

Perhaps you could offload the rest of the Twink stock to the local nuclear power station, gramps? Might keep it going for a few more years {grin]

Keep quiet about it though or that Martin Lewis bloke will tell everyone and they'll all want some to save on their fuel bills.

Yes, we'll have to make sure our bit's only filtered down to Lil's bar - keep the pumps active and maybe we could have a solar nuclear-powered fountain in the back passage.

And on that happy note, I'll hit the hay. Wake me up before Lil grabs a pitchfork in the morning to check how many of her 'lock ins' are still alive.

Your alright Lil 'rests' until noon most days, as your stayin over any chance of a ....Full English in the morning?

Thank goodness I was out last night I've got no Tenas left I can't stop laughing!

Ana I will get you back!

Pete you are a bad influence on me I can't resist a "lounge lizard" so good job I won't be in the bar tonight. Leave me a large one behind the bar please xxxx I'll see you right

Outrageous!!! Lil has seen fit to increase ALL her prices...It's now going to set me back TWO IOUs for 1 pint of Ample Bosom...what made it worse was that she announced this half way through pulling my pint

Luckily I managed to leave your large one. Ella, behind the bar before the greedy Lil dropped the bombshell. Will miss you tonight. and the 'velvet jacket' is at the cleaners as we speak

Lil reckons that it's 'overheads' that dictate the rip off increase....but the only overheads Lil has , correct me if I'm wrong gramps, are her ankles!

Of all the threads on GN, I do believe that Lil's bar rates high on the giggle-ometor. No need to feel glum when the regulars are in fine fettle. As for the lads - in two words, wonderfully wicked!

Please get soop a large one gramps (I've run out of IOUs)

Pete I'm off out now, so behave and maybe I'll bring something nice back for you! You'll be lucky!

Where's that Nellie anyway, she could have a word with Lil about the cost of her Ample Bosom!

Ella
It's good afternoon to all the regulars. Time I unplugged myself from this computer. Things to do. Places to go. People to see. Cats to feed. After which, the magic hour of six on a Saturday ...time for a lovely G&T with lime and plenty of ice. Slainte!
I shall return tomorrow. x

Ella just bring your goodself back, thats enough for me .....and a few bob 'cos it's your round short memory

Ok Pete....been tarting myself up it takes forever these days I should have a bob or two when I get back if you know what I mean

I might just bump into Lil oh I do hope not

_____Lil's Ankles !

Lil's ankles , a wonderful sight to behold
Such beautious legs, except where they fold.
TSo my dear Ole Lilhis stops her stockings falling down in neat rolls!
The lumps on her ankle bones are there for good use,
The elastic between stops her feet coming loose.
Now our Lil is a Lady, of that is no doubt,
Yo might call her "beery" but don't call her "stout"!
She's plenty of spirit, on that we agree,
And loves home grown veggies, 'specially a green pea!!
Our Lil is a Lady - you love or you hate.
Not many of those, I'm glad to relate!
So my dear friend Lil, I bear you no harm,
And when reading this, don't shout in alarm.
Or give me a glare that a lion would kill,
I'll send you and xxxxxx, And I love you still!

Re, Lil's ankles.
Sorry about line 3. more gremlins!!

Hope it still makes sense - if anything does!!