Be careful what you post

I think this is where a lot of young people get into trouble - they post something thinking just their friends will look at it and are then horrified to find that anyone can see what they have posted. Before I post I always think would I be upset if my neighbours saw it!

Greatnan you sound as if you are smarting from a dressing down from your daughter. Would it be ok for you to mention her (in a happy positive manner of course ) whilst giving her anonymity? I am careful not to mention names on here and hope that I can't be identified although purely because my family may feel a bit odd about being discussed on t'internet.

Oh dear Greatnan. I hope you aren't feeling too upset and your daughter isn't too cross.

Oh dear. I hope the dust settles quickly. x

Greatnan, how awful, This is such a great place sometimes we forget it can be a bit public. I'm sure your daughter will forgive you and normal services will be resumed.I was going to start a thread this morning about something going on with my daughter , but now realise it may not be wise. Keep posting I always read what you write even if I don't comment on it.

She has told me a couple of times that she does not want me to post anything personal about her and her family, but this was on an expat forum about two years ago and I had no idea anybody who knew her would look at it. She had published a blog in her own name and I was referring people to it. She won't stay upset - she knows I had only good intentions and was just proud of her. I have promised never to mention anything about her by name on any forum.
Thanks for the sympathy - I don't suppose I am the only old codger who hasn't realised how public forums are!

You can't blame someone for what other people post....I think you probably could if the OP was deliberately inflammatory. That isn't the case here. But do you want to be allied in any way with people who post offensive comments?

I'm so sorry, Greatnan That post ended up on the wrong thread entirely. Proves your point, I think.

It could so easily be other Gransnetters, Greatnan. I just Googled family names to see what came up and found things like Twitter and Facebook names, and business addresses i knew about, but little else EXCEPT a local art gallery that is selling some of my son's recent paintings and gives some promotional blurb, then shows his work with substantial price tags attached. I texted him to say I've seen them and he says he feels embarrassed that they've asked such large amounts, and this is why he didn't tell me about them. Now I know why his mates were winding him up last week. It's amazing what finds its way on to the internet!

when

He sounds very talented - and very modest!

Yes, modest, but you should see them Greatnan - weird! Very Lucien Freud. But back to your thread. My daughters have a friend who has been called into the manager's office several times because of what she has posted about her employers on Facebook. On one memorable, drunken occasion, she called them all 'faceless c**ts' and was suspended for a fortnight. Can't understand why she wasn't sacked on the spot, but they seem to like her, as do my daughters - they've known her for 25 years. She relies on forgiveness

I will have to rely on my daughter's forgiveness too!
I probably wouldn't like the paintings - I am a fan of the impressionists!

Me too!

Good point greatnan - about being careful about confidentiality.
I have been berating my DS (and that is something that happens very, very rarely) this morning about something he put about himself on FB. He is old enough to know better but does not seem to realise that FB is not for something best only shared between a handful of best buddies who share his sense of humour. DOH! Got me riled. (A couple of GN members may have caught the backwash!!)

Safe to come out, JessM??

In my last job at one time we were advertising for staff and the person given the task of making a short list looked them all up on facebook! Anyone who had posted things like "got really stoned last night" or "I fancied a day off so I've just thrown a sickie" went straight to the reject pile.

Funnily enough this happened to me. I was having a moan on here about my DHs car restoring and happened to mention what sort of car it was. He went on line to look at information about these cars and came across my reference to his car and of course my moans!!! Didn't occur to me that what we write on here is open to the world and his wife. Fortunately he took it ok ;)

The reverse is also true in many instances. I don't do Facebook but I wouldn't mind betting there's at least one photograph including me and various references to me by other people. However, I hve never looked , so what I don't know won't hurt me.

Greatnan You have always spoken of your New Zealand daughter in the warmest and most loving way so I can't believe that she will be cross with you for very long.

Thanks, absent - I couldn't say anything critical of her or any of her children as I admire them all - she just doesn't like having any details about what they are doing on line. The posts were nearly two years old - long before she told me not to put stuff about them on Facebook. I was terrified I might not be able to delete them - I know on some forums you can't edit after someone has posted a reply.

Greatnan it sounds as though you and your daughter have a very good relationship so I'm sure it will all blow over.

I have to say something and I'm sorry if it seems as if I'm criticising GRANSNET, which I'm not at all:

When I joined, about a week ago, and went through the registration process, I was quite perplexed about the reason for the part which reads "Developmental emails about your grandchildren. So that we know which mails to send and when to send them, please enter your grandchildren's details below."

I chose NOT to give my grandchildren's names, and I have also slightly fibbed about their dates of birth. I did this simply because THIS IS THE INTERNET, and as a "newbie" I was not familiar with how GRANSNET operates, or about what happens as a result of any names I've given them. Please understand GRANSNET - I was fully prepared to add my children's names, after I'd been a member for a while and then could understand the reason for you wanting these details. I'm sure it's probably something nice and innocent, like sending a birthday greeting or something. But you see where I'm coming from I hope? And after reading Greatnan's experience I'm glad I proceeded with a bit of caution.

I'm very sorry, and i mean no offence or distrust.

I just say again, in my defence ... this is the INTERNET

I understand what you mean, Beachee, but all the questions are optional. I would never give such personal information to any site I joined - I gave the ages of my GC but don't remember the bit about developmental emails. I would have opted not to receive those anyway.

Yes, the questions are optional so good for you GRANSNET. The "developmental emails" phrase is on the registration page.
I don't know what it means, sorry

greatnan I think this is a situation we all could fall into. Seeing your post, I had a bit of a panic and just looked up a name I rather foolishly put on something, Fortunately there are several references to other persons of that name so clear identification is probably not too much of a risk. I am very relieved by that.

This is all rather worrying! Is there anything anywhere on Gransnet that clearly warns about using such identifying details? It would be helpful if there was.

A clear and obvious warning posted somewhere on the site would be very helpful. Would it be possible HQ?