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Why do the elderly people in my area complain all the time I am not entitled to the house I inherited from my parents?.

(79 Posts)
HUNTERF Thu 08-Nov-12 17:10:20

I am now 63 and had early retirement in 2008 and my mother passed away in 2007. I was widowed in 2004.
I worked in London and inherited half of my parents house and joined my father in our jointly owned house in Birmingham.
As it happened my 2 daughters went to Birmingham University and settled in Birmingham.
I found a part time job later that year and my father joined a bereaved club and befriended a woman who was also a member.
They went out together for about 18 months but my father did explain to her at the start there was no prospect of her getting any money as I owned half the house and his half was willed to me.
She suddenly came out with a statement at the end of the 18 months saying her family should now inherit the house and when my father said this was not going to happen she left slamming the door behind her.
Sadly my father passed away earlier this year and the probate is complete and the house is now fully in my name.
Every time I go shopping locally most of the time I run into somebody saying the house belongs to this lady and it should have gone to her.
Two people have even said I have stolen the house from her.
Most of the people are 75+ but why do they never think that the house was willed to me which legally makes it mine, it is now my home and I have spent a lot of money on it.

Mishap Thu 08-Nov-12 17:16:38

Just ignore 'em.

Ana Thu 08-Nov-12 17:27:27

There was an almost identical problem posted not long ago. In that case I think the general concensus was to either take out a Notice in the local paper or inform the police, giving as many names as possible.

Nelliemoser Thu 08-Nov-12 17:35:10

HunterF It is very difficult. Has this woman actually seen the evidence about the previous ownership arrangements for the property?

You could try and check again for yourself that there is absolutely no chance at all of this woman having any such legal claim to the property and get written evidence.

Then if she persists in spreading rumours about you could call her bluff and suggest to her and to those who collar you in street, that if she really thinks she is entitled she should make a proper legal claim.

Do get some further advice about her position though.

My nasty suspicious mind leaves me wondering if this is something she has tried before, I have heard of such things, but that is idle speculation.

Ana Thu 08-Nov-12 17:42:36

Here's a link to the other thread.

www.gransnet.com/forums/legal/1193851-Can-I-stop-people-pestering-me-about-my-fathers-estate

MrsJamJam Thu 08-Nov-12 17:59:29

What a horrid situation for you. I certainly think that you might be well advised to consult a solicitor - they usually offer a first short consultation free. Once you feel yourself on firm ground both legally and morally, you may find it easier to ignore or challenge the nasty comments.

My husband lost all his family inheritance when his stepmother (left everything by OHs father), then left the whole lot to her own children and nothing to OH or his brother. Needless to say, he has never spoken to his stepsister since.

It makes me very sad to realise that there are nasty, greedy, grasping women out there who feel no shame in targetting elderley widowers with property. Greed is indeed a deadly sin.

HUNTERF Thu 08-Nov-12 18:02:36

Hi Nelliemoser

I know Dad had a photocopy of the land certificate in his wardrobe which stated I owned the house in equal shares and she does know I paid to have the house re wired and to have a new kitchen fitted.
Another incident which upset her was my father and myself wanted a new shower room but she wanted us to have a bath room.
I did leave it for about a month and then the split happened and about 3 months later we had a new shower room.
I know she has no claim as she never cared for Dad and she never stayed overnight in the house.

Ana

Your link describes a situation very similar to mine except the lady owned a flat.
I do not know where these people think I should live.

london Thu 08-Nov-12 18:04:12

i would just take no notice its yours xx

vampirequeen Thu 08-Nov-12 18:27:28

So they never lived as man and wife....she has no claim whatsoever. It's your house. Ignore them. It will be a nine day wonder....those people will find something/someone else to annoy and insult.

HUNTERF Thu 08-Nov-12 18:32:36

To be honest I do wonder why she stayed with Dad when he said I owned half the house and there was no chance of her family getting any money.

A remark I did have was I must have been after the money as I was seen going into Dad's bank only 3 days after his death.

I really went in with the death certificate to stop his account.

I got on with the probate straight away as delaying this would not bring Dad back and he allways wanted me and his grandchildren to have his estate.

Nanadog Thu 08-Nov-12 19:38:42

Weird confused

Ana Thu 08-Nov-12 19:48:52

It makes you wonder what stories this woman has been spreading. It's a very difficult situation for you to be in, HUNTERF - it would seem all you can do is sit it out. Good luck!

Joan Thu 08-Nov-12 22:19:27

When you said she never stayed overnight I was flummoxed. I cannot think why she could imagine she had any claim at all. It is difficult to deal with total illogicality, isn't it?

I wish you all the best. My own method would be to have a little paper typed out, saying: "I live in my family home which was willed to me by my father. Ms X has never lived there and has never had any claim to the house, either legally or morally. Please mind your own business and stop this slander or I will seek legal advice."

I think she must have told the old so and sos a lot of lies.

Grandola Thu 08-Nov-12 22:40:34

I wouldn't do anything at all. The woman is clearly deluded. It isn't even worth using up a moment of your time to think about.

Joan Fri 09-Nov-12 06:20:57

I agree with Grandola and this is almost certainly the best attitude to have. It is just that I always want the last word in any dispute!!! Not a good trait, but very real.

HUNTERF Fri 09-Nov-12 08:51:19

Hi Mrs JamJam

I must say I do not intend to get married again.
I have a very good relationship with both my daughters, in laws, and my grandchildren so I feel there would be nothing to gain and if I did it would cause problems to the family.
I just think it is totally unfair for the children to lose one of their parents so early and to lose their inheritance as well. Also to some extent it is unfair my grandchildren only have 3 grandparents.
The other thing which is wrong is the mortgage on my parents house was mainly paid for from the proceeds of the sale of both their parents houses when they passed away.
I am sure they wanted what was in effect their money to stay within the family.

glammanana Fri 09-Nov-12 09:50:44

Ana I also remember reading the exact same thread some time ago.

absentgrana Fri 09-Nov-12 09:50:47

HUNTERF The answer to the question as you have posted it is probably because they are silly, interfering old busybodies who have nothing better to occupy their time. Ignore them.

HUNTERF Fri 09-Nov-12 11:07:29

Hi absentgrana

Obviously I am not the only one with this prpblem.
I hope I never become one of those ''silly, interfering old busybodies who have nothing better to occupy their time.
Problems could have happened if I had not been living in the house and Dad had took her in without me knowing.
I am not sure if she would have got any rights to occupy it over time or if I would have been able to wait for her to go out when my father passes away and just change the locks regardless of the fact she may have nowhere to live.
Even when I lived away I allways had the keys to my parents house and I was a half owner from the date my mother passed away.

absentgrana Fri 09-Nov-12 11:18:29

Ah, but the problems didn't happen and you were living in the house HUNTERF and you did already own half of it to which she would never have had any claim. Thank goodness for all that. And it seems extremely unlikely that you will become a silly interfering old busybody. smile

Barrow Fri 09-Nov-12 11:19:20

From what you say she has no claim on the house at all so I would just ignore what people are saying - it will pass and they will find something else to talk about

It's horrible when someone dies how some people think only of what they can get out of it. I had a problem with one of my sisters-in-law when my husband died. Within days she had gone into his shed and helped herself to various tools and other items. When she came back for another "raid" her older brother stopped her taking more stuff.

She has since said to me that my husband had told her she could have the computer as I now use my laptop most of the time and some silver I have on display. Whilst he was generous to a fault I know this can't be the case because my husband could barely turn on the computer so it was always considered to be mine. As for the silver, these were items which were given to my parents on their silver wedding anniversary so there is no way he would have said she could have them.

HUNTERF Fri 09-Nov-12 11:50:34

Hi Barrow

I could see a problem like yours happening if the offspring had lived away from the parents home and was unsure what belonged to the parent.
This lady did not try to claim anything inside the house.
The only items I am not sure who paid for was a bird bath and 2 of the roses in the garden.
I do know my mother's jewellry and the silver so there was no point her trying to claim that.

annodomini Fri 09-Nov-12 11:50:49

Hunterf, she has neither legal nor moral claim to your property, so do your best to ignore the silly, spiteful woman. Having right on your side is a good feeling. smile

Elegran Fri 09-Nov-12 12:40:33

Give her the bird bath and the roses. Smile sweetly and say your dad told you he wanted her to have these to remember him by.

If she says you are fibbing, ask her how she could know that, as she did not live in the house and you had many conversations with him when she was not there about what he wanted - and his will was already made for the BIG items, like the house, which was already half yours anyway.

Remind her (and anyone else who slanders you) that a will is a public document, and its terms, and date, are available to any lawyer she cares to appoint.

mickey Fri 09-Nov-12 15:43:11

Take no notice of this woman, she is obviously a golddigger. If she wasn't married to him or named in a will, she has no claim-what a cheek-rise above it.