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Is this a bit OTT

(35 Posts)
ninathenana Sun 13-Jan-13 18:18:07

A friend's 24yr old daughter who is single and lives at home, has today had a follow up operation on her knee. The 1st op was last week. Her mum and dad have been at her bedside all day.
Patient is otherwise fit and healthy. Personally I think this is OTT. She's an adult and it was hardly major surgery. Am I totally heartless or given that you had the time would you have done the same.

Marelli Sun 13-Jan-13 18:26:06

I probably would, if she wanted the company, nina! Probably not a case of being at 'death's door', but if they lived a long way away, might it have been easier to stay around? I think I'd remain very aware of whether she wanted me to b....r off though! wink

GillieB Sun 13-Jan-13 19:24:35

Mmm, not sure - when I have been in hospital I was happy to have time to just read, etc., but that was just me.

On the subject of OTT, however, how about this? My DH rang his DB today for a chat and during the course of the conversation I heard him say, "you can't be serious". Afterwards he told me that my Dnephew not only takes his washing every weekend for his DM to do, but also ... wait for it ... his dishes to wash!!!! My SiL is in her 70s and her son is 37 - and, poor thing, he has no washing machine or dishwasher at his rented house. SiL is currently ill, laid up in bed and the dishwasher has packed up so DBiL was doing the washing up. I suppose I shouldn't be surprised as she told me about five years ago that she was still paying his mobile bill every month.

Marelli Sun 13-Jan-13 19:36:52

Why can't he wash his dishes in the sink, GillieB? confused It can't be easy to carry a load of dirty plates etc across town!

Ana Sun 13-Jan-13 19:39:25

Words fail me! Washing I can (just about) understand, although he should do it himself, but his dishes? shock

tanglerose Sun 13-Jan-13 19:40:08

Would buying some paper cups and plates for him be a good idea and finding the address of the nearest laundrette.

Mishap Sun 13-Jan-13 19:40:46

Deary me - has this man no self-respect! Fancy taking it all to your mum. What an idle git!

Notsogrand Sun 13-Jan-13 19:41:47

Well if he can find someone daft enought to do it........

Anne58 Sun 13-Jan-13 19:42:22

They don't fail me! Sad, useless git are the first to come to mind, but no doubt there will be others once I have picked my chin up off the floor!

Actually, something else has just come to mind, what sort of parents raised such a feeble specimen!

ninathenana Sun 13-Jan-13 19:42:57

OMG Gillie, that's amazing. Do you think she enjoys mothering him
Or am I a complete cynic :-)

Ana Sun 13-Jan-13 19:43:01

Yes, I agree, phoenix - the fault lies on both sides!

whenim64 Sun 13-Jan-13 19:43:11

That's easy to sort out - I woud just drop them on the floor and return the broken bits!! What stopped them tellng him where to get off the first time he tried it on?? Unbelieveable!

Marelli Sun 13-Jan-13 19:47:23

And all the food would be dried onto the plates...[ugh emoticon]. I've got this picture in my mind of him travelling on the bus with all this stuff - does he have a car GillieB?

Anne58 Sun 13-Jan-13 19:49:37

I think a more telling question might be "Does he have a girlfriend?" and I don't mean that in a "someone to do the washing up" sort of way!

Ella46 Sun 13-Jan-13 19:50:37

They probably go and collect him! angry

Gina123 Sun 13-Jan-13 19:53:04

I had been feeling a bit down today and after reading this I am still laughing as I type so it has certainly cheered me up. I suggest next present to son should be paper plates, cups, etc and plastic throw away cutlery. They could also buy him paper underwear if they can find it. Why does the father not trundle round to sons house with clothes and crockery and ask him to sort it out while his Mum is ill.

cheelu Sun 13-Jan-13 20:27:03

nina why wouldnt you be there for her if it is what she needed or wanted.. Personally I would worry that she did need someone there all day, Does she have learning disabilities.

Ariadne Sun 13-Jan-13 20:34:17

I can't believe the son and the washing up, Gillie! And I'd have something to say about the washing too. My sympathies are entirely with your SiL and BiL, but I do wonder if they have somehow, over the years, created this rod for their backs?

As for the daughter in hospital, nina I don't know. If I had the time, I might well have spent some of it with her, if she had no-one else, that is.

Greatnan Sun 13-Jan-13 20:53:45

I have neither washing machine nor dish washer and I manage perfectly well - wash clothes in the bath (I have a spin drier) and take bedding to laundrette. I imagine most people wash their pots in a bowl in the sink. I suspect this mother needs to be needed. If the son ever does get a wife, I can see some difficulties arising in the mother's relationship to the DIL!

annodomini Sun 13-Jan-13 20:55:31

Some mothers are reluctant to let go. When my uncle and aunt got married, they lived upstairs in granny's house. When he came home for lunch, he would find that granny had food ready for him downstairs and so had his new wife in their upstairs bedsit.

nanaej Sun 13-Jan-13 20:58:10

I am feeling like a bad mother in contrast to the parents mentioned in OP.
When my DD2 was in her last year at Uni doing her final school placement she got quinsies and was admitted to hospital as she had become dehydrated & could not swallow. I did take her to the hospital & waited until she was admitted and in her bed.. but then I left. I did go back to visit her later in the evening and took her some bits and pieces.. but saw no reason to sit by her bedside.. she was 21/22 at the time and needed rest. She also had friends who popped in when thy knew she was there!

As to the son and his washing..shock

Ana Sun 13-Jan-13 21:04:00

nanaej I'm with you - when DD was admitted to hospital with appenticitis when she was 22 I stayed with her until her op. was due, but because of distance and work commitments had to go and leave her to it! Her fiancé was there when she came round, and of course we visited regularly afterwards, but they're not children at that age.

ninathenana Sun 13-Jan-13 21:47:12

Cheelu no she doesn't have learning difficulties. Of course I would expect them to be there if that was the case.
I would of course visit, and keep I touch by phone. But even when DH had op I didn't stay at hospital 8hrs at a time.

crimson Sun 13-Jan-13 22:04:40

Some people have a real phobia about hospitals; I worked with someone like that..we went to visit a friend that had just had a baby and she told me she hated being in hospitals.

Ella46 Sun 13-Jan-13 22:08:45

I'm afraid some mothers just can't let go.
It's sad because it doesn't do either side any favours.