Lil's Bar 5

I'm having to talk left handed because my right arm's in a sling after smashing the toilet kitchen window to get in here this afternoon

(I quite like the niff of Eau-de-Brasso meself)

Hi, never been through this door before, so what happens here then, is it all talk of your favourite drink, mine is def pernod and black, can I tell a quick story about it, thanks, well I had never gone to a pub in my life and I was asked out by my now husband to the pub, as I did not know what drink to order I asked my sister what to order and she said Pernod and black was nice so thats what I ordered, any how it tasted so nice that I had about 4!! after eachother as theydid taste sooo nice. All was ok till I tried to stand up!!!!!

Evenin' Jadey. Welcome to Lil's Bar - you can just nip round behind the bar and help yourself to a Pernod and Black. Lil's away on leave and I've no idea where Pete is, probably don't want to know. Sounds like the Pernod & Black suits yer me dear - though maybe stick to half a pint this time you're standing up very well at the moment, so try sitting down to drink it. I'm just going round to get my usual (pint of white wine & pack of Pete's best home cured Pork Scratchings). I'm sure some of the others will be along soon - I think I can hear voices (Oh dear

Goosey, if I took a gander at your past,
might I recognize you at last?
Your brogue. a Londoner I know,
You from the North . Somewhere near Bow?
Me from "Sahf Lunnon" - now in Kent,
Get out of London was our intent.
But we are overcrowded still,
We'll have a tent and live with Lil!!

Watcher Gramps
Oim from the Sahf
yewd knowr that
soon's I open me mahf.
Ma and pa's from Spittlefield
me? i live dawn by Ole Lils

My Aunt lived in London don''t you know
very near Victoria park which is in Bow!!!

I love visiting her there
Its quite nice to be fair

People are friendly and will have a chat
and I really do like that

I go once a year look forward to it I do
why don't you try it it could be good for you too

As I was walking by St Paul's
A laydee grabbed me by the ......
elbow

Pint...please

Thank goodness the tone's gone down to its usual level - cheers Pete!

No problem...*Ana*...

...a little low on the Pernod and Port Lil...

...Toto won 'sweet FA' at Crufts this week....but caused havoc in the french poodle pen....

I'll try one..thank you Lil.

Good grief, is here still open
'Ere was I a 'oping
The 'elf 'n safety mans bin round
And driven yow lot
Underground

Pint of the usual my sweetheart!

'Good evening Pete. Crufts this week is it? That explains where Fred is then, he'll be lurking outside the stadium trying to flog ripped off tins of tripe to the aristocracy of the dog world - I expect Scab (his pitbull x dachshund) is with him. Pint of white wine and two packs of pork scratchings please...."

Pint it is then

Has a busload of Cockney Bards broke down up the road.....

You need to watch en lot Pete!
They cor spake proper like us Black Country types do!
One of these days I'll tell yow about Enoch and Eli and the barge and Butty and the towpath!

...Pint please Lil.....Now it's the Brummies.....

..Fred was kicked out of Crufts on the first day Goose...didn't he phone home....

Not a bloomin Brummie!
BLACK COUNTRY!

Bah! Spifflecock Galen! Wotcher mean we's down't tawlks proper? 'S'yew lot wot tawlks likka loada bleedin countree bumkins. Yer talkin outta ther ole in yer ead.

Galen...Enoch and Eli are very welcome in here...

Now look here my good woman, just because you can't understand people wot can spake proper like? There's no need to come all over billgerent,

..It's lively tonight Lil.......I'll just sit over here....

...'my good woman'......fightin talk around here...

Right then.
Well Enoch was walking down the side of cut as usual, when he met Eli who was hard at work chiselling bricks out of bridge o'er cut!
'Why'm yow doin that?' He asks.
'Bloody new 'oss is too tall to go' under!'
'Why not dig owt towpath? It's softer?'
'Dae be sae bloody daft, it's it's is 'ead, not is feet that cor get through!'