Poor little quivering wreck I should think, poor Toto. I think he heard the word Crufts mentioned and went looking for a girlfriend. He must have been very confused. .
Right...another swift pint as I draft an advert for the Cruft's newspaper...............Unattached small dog owner seeks similar female, aged over 45.....must like long walks to the chippy,dogging and football. Apply to: Ex Lounge-Lizard, C/O Lil's Bar 5. Please do not apply if you have been 'knocked-back' by gramps in the past.
That's right Pete, pick on the infirm(!) those wot can't stand up for themselves! (Even with Viagra!) i'll get me own back you rascal - NO, don't stand into the wind when in distress!