Is death always sad?

I think it is obviously sad for the family and friends of the person who has died, even when old and ill. However for anyone who didn't know the person then it would not have any effect, except perhaps to feel empathy for the family.

I agree, Bags. When my mother died after three years of demented misery, we were all relieved. I grieved for the happy, fun-loving mother I had known, not for the empty shell she had become. We were incensed when some arrogant doctor pumped her full of antibiotics when nature was ready for her to go with severe pneumonia. He expected us to be grateful that he had prolonged her (and our) ordeal.

It is sad when someone dies prematurely, especially in childhood. I am saddened when someone I know, love and respect dies and I shall no longer have the benefit of their physical presence in my life. That however, is a grief for my loss not their death. I recognise that the families of those who have just died, such as Mark and Carol Thatcher, will feel sad. At the same time, I cannot feel sad about the death of someone I regard as having been a deeply harmful figure and also who has been suffering from dementia and a series of strokes for a long time. What's the expression – blessed release?

Thatcher's death means nothing to me - the harm she did cannot be undone, so alive or dead is irrelevant - it is all far too late.

I'll be sad but relieved when my mother dies. Her quality of life is so poor that it will be a welcome release. My father, however, died aged fifty of a brain tumor after a very short illness. Sad didn't come close. I was devastated.

But for some, even if death brings sadness, it doesn't necessarily mean that person will be mourned.

i think if someone you care for dies you can feel sad for yourself that you have lost them and at the same time happy for them that they are no longer suffering. Human emotions are rarely straightforward. When my mother died I was amazed how much I grieved for her despite having an awful relationship with her. It took me years to realise I was grieving for the relationship that never was!

No I don't think the point of death is always sad.

My mum has Alzheimers. Without going into detail, she is very near the end
GP has withdrawn her meds apart from pain relief. There is no more can be done. She's been like this for 5wks.
I have grieved for my mum who was my best friend for the past 6yrs. Now I hope her end will be peaceful and soon.

I think you are sad for what you have lost, for what has been, for the memories, especially if they are very ill or elderly and death is a release. I am sad this week as I just heard that a local Mum died last week; she went for a run on a bitterly cold day and she didn't return home. She was found the next day having succumbed, for whatever reason, to hyperthermia. she had 4 daughters, the youngest only 8. That I find very sad.. I was and am sad that Mr.G died. He was too young to die and I was too young to be widowed but, it happens. I'm sad when I hear of tragic unnecessary deaths but I feel relieved when I hear of the death of someone who has been suffering. All a bit garbled, but I know what I mean, I think!

I was devastated at the deaths of both my parents (both still in their 60s). I was sad for my loss as I did not have their physical presence, love and support. I was sad for them not to live longer to meet all their grandchildren and carry on with their active and happy lives. I now remember them with fondness and love and talk about them a lot with my DDs who did know them. However when my aunt and grandmother who both died after a long time of incapacitating illness it was a different sadness mingled with relief their suffering was over. Sadness that it had been a long death.

I cannot feel the same sadness for people I do not know personally. But when I read /hear that a person such as a musician /actor etc whose work I have enjoyed has died I feel a momentary sorrow that they are no longer around but as Bags says it is the natural thing to happen. I could not weep or have those great outpourings that some do for a person I never met.

It's probably not sad for the person doing it. In the event.

But it would be nice to think there would be a few people shedding a tear at your funeral.

On the other hand that is a very sad making thought in itself.

No real answer to some things I guess.

Shall we not go down this road?

#cheerupforchatham.

I am sure , that if we are good and kind, a few folk will turn up to say a few nice works about us j08

Jo

I remember a good friend of mine saying to me once at a funeral.

"You know I won't bother going to your funeral don't you". I was a bit took back and said "Why". She said "Well it means you won't be coming to mine".

Is it really that conditional? "Love is not love that changes when change it sees"? (Just in case I turn into a complete witch with the possible advent of ga-ga ness)

POGS.

As for the serious side of the thread I do think if, and I am sure many of us have had the experience, you have experience of watching somebody dying painfully you do want it to end sooner rather than later. That does not mean it is any easier to come to terms with, simply accepting it is cruel to carry on living.

I always thought that when my dear mother died I would 'feel her prescence' as some say they do. I have felt saddened that is not the case, it's just one great big hole in the heart. If you do feel 'a prescence' from a loved one I envy you.

Untimely death is dreadfull, especially for those left behind. But coming to the end of a long and cative life where you have achieved something, be it raising a family, coping with problems or even running a country (for good or ill), is the natural progression. We will all have to die and better to drop dead at the Ritz (if one can afford it) than linger mindlessly or in agony in some dreary care home.

oops ment 'active'

I don't even care if I don't have a funeral. Why do people worry about what will happen after they are dead? Surely you can tell now, while you're alive, whether the people that matter to you love you or not? If not, I pity you.

I don't think the death of tyrants is sad although often the way in which they have been killed is quite sick-making. I didn't find the death of Saddam Hussein a cause for sorrow although I profoundly disapprove of the death penalty and his hanging was a very nasty business. Ditto Colonel Ghadaffi and I am pretty confident that no tears of mine will fall when Assad finally goes. I can only wish that both Adolf Hitler and Josef Stalin had died much sooner than they did.

I did not crack open the Champagne when Fred West killed himself or rejoice over the deaths of Harold Shipman or Myra Hindley – although some MPs courted popular votes with their gratuitous comments. However, I did not feel sad.

I do not feel sadness about the death of Baroness Thatcher. I do still feel anger about some of the things she did when she was alive.

Death is not always a cause of sadness for everyone – even if the personally bereaved grieve.

Bags Funerals are not, of course, for the person who died but for those who loved and cared for them. I have just been at a funeral which beautifully summed up the person's life and which was attended by a wide range of people from all the different areas of her life. Her family were surprised and comforted by the large number of people who were there and who talked about the influence she had had on their lives. Most of us need to mark the big events in our lives in some way, whether it be a religious ceremony or a secular one.

I agree absolutely, wisewoman, that funerals are for people who are still alive, and that they serve a beneficial purpose for those people. My comment above was really about people wondering who will come to their own funerals? That seems like a waste of wondering time to me.

I would like to leave my body for medical research, or even to be buried in a forensic farm, so they can dig me up from time to time and see what had happened to it.
I hope they will use any bits of me that are still viable, in spite of old age.
I do carry a donor card but it is not needed in France which uses an opt-out system but I don't think they would use anything because they won't accept blood donations from anyone who has lived in Britain since the BSE scare.
I can't see many people attending my funeral because my family and friends are too scattered. Perhaps I will make a huge circle of friends when I move to New Zealand - I intend to join a few things. If I die before then, I don't want my family to incur huge expense in flying out. I would rather they just remembered the good times and had a glass of wine to celebrate my life. My commune can cremate me.
I have made my feelings clear about not having any religion mentioned in any service and I know my daughter will respect them.
I don't fear death in the least because I think it will just mean oblivion, but I really enjoy my life so I hope it lasts a lot longer!

If you go first, I'll come to yours if you'll come to mine if I go first Greatnan.