Grief, sadness and depression

Greatnan

I thought my first sentance made just that point. I reiterate.

"I am absolutely sure that you meant that in no way a trivial comment so please DO NOT THINK MY POST IS DIRECTED TO YOU"

I guess we write in a different style and I don't know how much clearer I can be .

If you were 'absolutely sure it was in no way a trivial comment' why use those words? And if they were not directed at me, at whom were they directed?

Anno I had similar experience when Mum died in care after years of dementia.I cared for her(and DH and 3 children)in our home until it became too much.
When she died and I was grieving my ex said something like 'Cheer up she's gone now'. Later I found he had been 'playing away'!
I had not then discovered counselling and didn't have medication.We moved to a big old house needing lots of work.Demands of family,house
and my work got me through but talking and Gransnet would have helped.
P.S.Amitryptiline -formerly used as an antidepressive -is now prescribed in low dosage by my GP to help when sleep is disturbed by arthritic pain!

One of the reasons I disliked my father so much happened before I was born, but my mother told me about it. She was carrying me when her little boy of 12 months old died of meningitis. At the funeral, she cried and my father said to her 'Oh, don't let's have the water works'. She always said that my birth saved her from deep depression. (I guess I have been some use in the world!)

I have to stress again that I am in no way critical of anybody who needs medication to fight depression, or any doctor who prescribes it. However, the women in the programme were at pains to explain that they were experiencing grief and needed to work their way through it.

You know, I didn't think this thread would cause any arguments! I should know by now!

greatnan is it not possible that POGS was trying to stop you from jumping to that conclusion? After all, you must surely admit that you have clashed with her several times, and I took this comment as a geniune attempt to prevent another one.

Gally it is almost 10years since Peter died and I still miss him. There are days when I feel down but most of the time I'm ok. As you say the worst bit is feeling 'alone'. I have now got used to it though!

Jump to what conclusion?

That her post was directed at you.

Er.....as she used my name that seemed a reasonable supposition!

Gally

Ok, I should have said that her comment was not directed at you, but if you go back and look at it again, you should see what I mean.

No, thanks, Ceesnan, I have said all I have to say on this subject. Talk about an innocent post being misinterpreted.........

Greatnan

I did infact think before I posted for exactly the reason Ceesnan has pointed to. You and I have clashed on many occassions and I do not think I posted anything on this thread that warrents your continued annoyance.

I think I may have tried too hard to be respectful to you, I should have known better. I also find it very sad this tit for tat between us has occured on a thread you started that has a serious and deep felt meaning to some GN for obvious reasons. It belittles the thread in my opinion.

You invite a response from me by the wording of your posts, it does not sit well with me to behave in this manner and I would like to leave it at that.

Gally (((hugs))) - not much help but sincerely meant.

My baby daughter died suddenly in her cot, age 7 months, in 1976.

I found her when she had been dead for an hour.

We were staying at my parents' house and after the ambulance had been my parents' GP arrived.

He gave us a large bottle of "valium" in one of its mildest strengths and said we could take up to 4 tablets at once. This was for all the family to use (it was just before Christmas and he was being practical). I rarely took any tablets as I did not want to become addicted to them.

A few weeks later we returned to the University town where my DH was studying. I had no one to talk to and my GP just prescribed more valium. My health visitor called in and when told of my DD death said "Oh so that's why you haven't been to baby clinic recently".

I think anyone who is bereaved needs someone to talk to for however long it takes. Mild sedatives may help to take the raw edge away and dull the pain of grief for a while.

Next week my DD would have celebrated her 37th birthday - it will be a quiet day for us to remember her and miss her.

Chocolate x

What a dreadful thing to happen to you, chocolate pudding. I don't believe you ever get over the loss of a child. I am sure being able to talk about your baby and what had happened would be the best possible therapy for you.
One of my friends had a still born baby, in the days before they let the parents hold the baby and take photos. She said the midwives seemed to be embarrassed and just wanted her to leave as soon as possible. Even her husband said 'Well, we can try again right way'. I think there is much greater understanding now - at least I hope so.