Jay Griffiths Q&A on childhood/child wellbeing

As Cheese says though, what about the children who are happy to sit reading a book? I was! Is it really fair to force them outside?

I do agree that outdoor and imaginative play is vital - but surely it can't be entirely at the expense of everything else? I might not like it but the world revolves around technology these days so surely having some understanding of that is essential from - say - school age if they are to keep up? And while I'm not the biggest fan of TV I still remember the kids who didn't have tellies getting teased for not having heard of stuff everyone else knew about. That was in the 70s - now I imagine it would be far far worse?

That's a good point actually, Wiggle. I know that technology is an important part of the modern world (hello Gransnet!) and I certainly don't think my GDs should be cut off from the internet or TV altogether. I just think that there has to be a balance, and that parents often have to enforce that balance.

It's fine now the sun's out but honestly during the winter, none of enjoys standing in arctic winds, trying to find leaves and hedgehogs, no matter how 'fun' you try and make it and especially if they're ill. What do you suggest we do for days like that? Fresh air is all well and good but pneumonia is not so fun.

I was at my DD's last week when she had my DGS and his mates round for a playdate. They were having a ball running around the garden and just generally being boisterous. But my poor DD was beating herself up because the previous day the kids had been at another mum's house where the kids had done structured educational games and activities all afternoon (and come away with the homebaked - organic! - cookies they'd made too). It sounds like the kids had a ball both days. So what's better, structured educational activities? Or chaotic but fun playtime?

I think my DD is dreading the day when DGS is old enough for playdates, icequeen!

That's something else that was so much simpler in the old days. Children either knocked for each other or 'came round for tea' and the guest would happily disappear off with DD and Co. It seems to be so much more formal nowadays and it does seem a shame.

I've managed to put some photos of our 'lovely day' on my profile.

Hello Jay, I hope I'm not too late...

As women we are brought up nowadays to have autonomy and control over our lives. Isn't the logical extension of your position that we end up treating children as little gods and dancing attendance on them? If there's no routine and we're not socialising them into modern life, just letting them run wild and follow their natures, how are adults to have lives? And this is true of women, particularly, because you can bet your life it won't be men dancing attendance.

I wanted to add one too!

There are no accounts of any actual children in your book (other than generalised accounts of indigenous children, or imprisoned Western ones). Do you have children, or is it all theorising?

I wondered what kith actually means in your book? I thought it meant wider family.

"There is a space around a child where even the air seems sensitive". You obviously haven't met my grandchildren!

Seriously, isn't this hopelessly romantic? I adore my children and grandchildren but they are human beings like anyone else and they need a degree of (self) discipline as much as a degree of freedom.

You are right, I'm sure, that children don't get out enough these days on their own (though my GS roams around London on public transport very happily at the age of 11) but don't you think your idealisation of childhood does your argument no favours?

Isn't your book actually in a romantic (and fanciful) tradition which looks back to an Eden that never was and has a lot to do with eg William Blake but very little to do with 21st century children?

When are we going to get the promised answers from Jay ?