Banter Bar.

Expectations ? You've not even been on the back seat yet Sel

Hmmm - I may refer that remark to my chauffeur Pete

I've been up all night looking for Sarah - she escaped on Monday night. Mmm, something smells good in here, for a change. What's that in the festering stew-pot on the bar? looks like burned stew? PORK burned stew???

Goose not guilty on the burnt stew I don't use pork for anything except big fat doorstep bacon butties and brown sauce,I wonder if Pete has got in another cook at a lower "hourly rate" he's like that you know

Sel I'm so sorry, I had no idea that you were interested in the fire service
Personally, (and I think I can speak for Ana too) certainly after last night! I love a man or two in uniform, Ana likes them out of it

We'll let you know next time there's a get-together

As long as there are enough to go round!

Well thank you Ella but somehow I think Ana is not understanding the sharing concept here. Two for me, one for you, two for me etc

glamma oooh, bacon butties with brown sauce, now you're talking.

Sel Do not underestimate Ana, she's very good with her elbows!

#plentytogoaroundanyway

Same with the bacon butties I hope!

Elbows? Well, those firemen were certainly singing my praises last night, but I don't recall my elbows being singled out...

Tomato sauce on my bacon butty, please!

It's like an episode of 'Sex in the city' in here today......

You do know you're eating Goose's sow!!!

Anyway I'll have a butty....please......and could you stick a sausage on it as well... (Brown sauce).

No! Not Sarah sarnies? I haven't seen Toto around lately either - what's in the hot dogs?

Sarah again I'm afraid Goose .....Toto wouldn't make a decent size burger...

Ana, it's the way you elbowed all the other slappers fans out of the way!

All's fair in lust love and war, Ella!

I am in mourning. You load of bloody cannibals. I can't even take my pig out for a stroll without one of you lot turning her into sausages. A pint of Sherry and a packet of pork scratchings please Pete.....

Cannibals! Are you calling us pigs, Goose?
What I want to know is, how did Sarah get in the oven in the first place...

With a lot of difficulty Ana

Pint coming up Goose....you sure about the scratchings?

How about a nice 'Pork Pie'.....

SCUSE ME! I'll ave yer know, Sarah was PUSHED - she must've been snouting around the oven for bad apples and smelled the pong of burned apple sauce from them rotten apple pies last year

Goose this is appalling - I knew there were goings on in here but I'd no idea Pete would stoop so low. Abducting and then murdering your pig. He'll do anything for profit. I bet he calls himself an animal lover. Harrumph.

Sel, thank you for your understanding. PETE!!! get from stooping under that bar and explain yourself. Murdering a pig is a criminal offence - I'm a member of SOPPY, so I know all about you...I'll see you in court!

Go for it Goose - I'll be a witness although I didn't see a thing