Quotas for females

Greatnan, you summed it up as long as WOMEN have babies, but that's the point, women may physically give birth and, hopefully, feed the baby in the early months, but as my MiL used to say ; 'It takes two to make a bargain' and a child has two parents. It is because we have a culture that sees babies and young children as being almost entirely a female responsibility that women are so disadvantaged in the work place.

Until it is mandatory that men take as much child responsibility leave as women the situation cannot begin to change.

Lets face it both the childless and employers are as dependent as parents on the next generation of children to provide them with future customers to keep them working, fund their pensions and provide all the people that will keep society running as we get old and no longer work, not just medical staff and carers but all those from farmers to retail staff to transport manufacturers and energy providers who provide the world we live in.

Men taking responsibility for children is a great idea - but does it work? Now my daughter is back at work and her husband is at home with the children she is still having to come home and do all the things he has "forgotten". The washing is done but sits around wet because he forgets to hang it up, meals are not planned or shopped for because he doesn't think about them till the children are hungry. And he's a man who prides himself on the interest he takes in his children.

Thanks Geraldine

Deedaa - I think and hope that things are improving, as more boys are being brought up by parents who do share chores, so they accept it as normal. In my own family, I have one son-in-law and several grandsons/grandsons-in-law who are capable of running the home perfectly when needed. They take the view that sharing chores means the whole family has more time to spend together on leisure.
My ex husband was brought up with a grandmother, mother and sister who were expected to do all the 'women's work'. On holiday (self-catering, of course) my chores would just be transferred from home, without the usual mod. cons. I asked him to cook one meal and he agreed, then asked me what he should cook. I pointed out that planning the meal was part of the job!
My sister complained that her four boys did nothing to help in the house - but I had heard her talking about the young man who lived next door and shared the chores - his wife worked and they had two young children. She said he was a 'cissy' because she saw him hanging out the nappies. Fortunately, three of them married young women who soon whipped them into shape! The fourth remains a dinosaur, like his father.

I am sure all Gransnetters who have brought up sons made sure they were capable of looking after themselves and also expected to share in the chores!

Most small businesses are very reluctant to take on women of child bearing age due to enforced maternity leave/pay etc. which doesn't help matters either.

I know for a fact that my son does most of the cooking and virtually all of the cleaning in their household. My DIL would rather muck out horses than children.

Greatnan the problem with my son in law is that he thinks he is doing it all - he just gets distracted. Last week he was taking all the old receipts out of his wallet to demonstrate to me that you don't have to have a handbag bulging with them. (As if I would ???) We later found them all over the floor because he'd forgotten to put them in the bin!

I shall be interested to see how my son gets on. His girlfriend will have to have a C section and he's expecting to do most of the baby care while she recovers. (This is the one who was never going to have anything to do with women or babies!)

Yes, my ex would do a very bad job but I think it was to get out of doing it again. If I asked him to vacuum the living room he would do just the bits that showed - I pointed out that chairs were sometimes moved!
I worked for a man who had been in the navy, and he was meticulously tidy - he told me that if they mislaid anything it went in the 'gash' bag and it cost a shilling to retrieve it - quite a lot when their wage was 26 shillings a week. He wiped the bath and basin every time he used them and folded his shirts the way a laundry does.
My son-in-law is also a seaman, so perhaps that explains why he is so efficient and organised. He is master (captain) of a huge ferry with several car decks, so attention to detail is paramount.

On the other hand, my other daughter was married to a man who was obsessional - like the character in 'Sleeping with the Enemy'. The tins of food had to be put away with the labels all facing the same way. He was not particularly clean - just rigidly tidy. She was always a bit messy, but became even worse just to defy him.

I once worked with someone who was married to an ex naval officer. He used to come home every evening and run his fingers along all the doors and go round the house listing all the things she'd missed. She's probably killed him by now!

Actually having been in the US Navy one thing my son in law can do is the ironing!