Gransnet forums

Chat

May i ask a question?

(111 Posts)
poppy1 Sun 15-Sept-13 15:08:32

The thread ref "caothangers and pain has been removed,
I dont understand why!

It wasnt meant to be offensive or in any ill taste yet ive just tried to read any replies and find Aka had replied last and yet the complete thread has been taken off?

May i ask why? If we dont know whats been done thats so wrong how do we know not to repeat the same wrong doings again?
At 64 years of age i certainly dont want to upset or offend anybody 'but feel to be told why would be a help.

thatbags Sun 15-Sept-13 15:09:29

I didn't read it but I understand that a term that is regarded as racist was used.

poppy1 Sun 15-Sept-13 15:19:44

Thank you "thatbags"

I can assure anyone who did read the thread that ive never been racist in my life and dont intend to be now, i would strongly ask the admin to tell me and all the readers of this forum just what was said that was racist????

If your so certain that any of the thread was racist "I as the writer has a right to know"
You can't just decide that someone carries a tag saying they're racist when they are saying they are not.

If i was racist i'd be flying the flag to say so "but i am 100% Not in anyway that sort of person and i dont like being accused of such a thing.

So please lets both hear and see this racist remark ive supposted to have made.
Regards Poppy1 [confused & really angry]

Aka Sun 15-Sept-13 15:28:20

I wouldn't use the word myself but the correct term should have been Pakistani. Enough said let's move on.

poppy1 Sun 15-Sept-13 16:10:31

"No "
lets not move on,
Im from an irish family and the street i lived in as a child was 80% irish at school we we're known as paddys, the welsh as taffs the shortening of the breed of people went on with no offence meant or taken, scouser's brummies etc etc etc
to use a shortend part of PAKISTANI is'nt meant to be an insult (not by me anyway) no more than to be called a paddy or a taff, or a scott.

only this morning on the tv the sports commentator called it the taff army ref supporters of cardiff football club, im sure he wont be termed as a racist or have his remark taken off the air.

Its about time one or two people got this sort of thing sorted out once and for all,
Who ever decided to remove the thread has decided the writier "myself" was making a racist remark and i was not.

Im willing to stand up and get the record straight ref what i am and what im not and a racist "Im " and im not willing to move on to let anyone say otherwise.

Christ you cant even smile at a kid these days without thinking i'd better not do that incase someone thinks im some sort of perv,
When are we going to be able to move without the thought of is this alright or am i doing something wrong by these so called correct rules of today.???

tanith Sun 15-Sept-13 16:19:16

Sorry poppy1 but where I come from that shortened version of Pakistani is used in a derogatory way and usually by a racist. It may not be the way you meant it but I for one do feel, rightly or wrongly that the term is racist. Whether the thread should of been pulled with no explanation or not is up to the powers that be.

NfkDumpling Sun 15-Sept-13 16:36:33

I assume that originally the Pakistani community felt insulted by the shortening of their country of origin so racists picked up on it and used the name in a derogatory way and so it became so.
There will always be morons who, because of their own insecurities like to put down others - either for race, creed, disability or just being a bit different.
However, it can be difficult for us who live in areas where ethnic minorities are well integrated to understand what the fuss is about.
(I hope this doesn't make me anti-moron, as I do realise they exist and are the way they are through no fault of their own and try to make allowances for their inadequacies as I hope they make allowances for mine)

KatyK Sun 15-Sept-13 16:43:18

I'm from an Irish family too. It has always been OK to take a pop at the Irish - call them thick or whatever. I have usually found that the Irish have been able to laugh at themselves. My (very Irish) father used to love being told Irish jokes, he never took offence.

NfkDumpling Sun 15-Sept-13 16:48:35

I should add that I have problems with a person's colour. Some years ago a new chap joined our office. My immediate boss said that he ticked the right boxes as he was an ethnic minority. I asked how and she said he was a West Ham supporter. This gorgeous bloke arrived speaking with a London accent and I just assumed she was being funny - him being from London which to us is foreign. It wasn't until he came back from a Mediterranean holiday I realised - to his amusement and my confusion - that he was black! (I had to ask him!)
When does a person become black? President Obama is half black and half white - which apparently makes him black. My son's friend has a Polynesian grandmother - which apparently makes him black. (He doesn't look black to me.) My friend who is half Dutch and half Indonesian says she's Dutch as that's where she was born - although she lived in Indonesia.
I'm not racist. It's too complicated for me!

Greatnan Sun 15-Sept-13 16:52:02

A person's colour is whatever they want it to be - it is not up to others to label them.

bluebell Sun 15-Sept-13 16:53:38

The 'correct rules' of today are about treating people with respect and we've all ( or most of us) moved on from what was accepted language in our childhood. I would never use the abbreviation you used nor the words for the Irish, Welsh etc. but carry on thinking you don't have to abide by civilised respectful rules of communication and it won't just be a thread that will go

Ana Sun 15-Sept-13 16:54:31

Nobody who's half black and half white ever seems to want to be called white, though.

KatGransnet (GNHQ) Sun 15-Sept-13 17:04:47

Hi poppy1 - we dropped you an email as soon as we deleted the thread, can you check if you've received it?

Ariadne Sun 15-Sept-13 17:06:30

Read the forum guidelines, which tell us what is acceptable and what is not.

Anniebach Sun 15-Sept-13 17:12:16

If a person is of mixed race and their skin is dark then why would they choose to say ' I am white' if their skin is not white and they described themselves as white then I would think they are in some form of denial and surely an insult to the parent who is not white skinned . Would it not be rather like a red haired person saying I am blond

If the Irish are Paddys, the Welsh are Taffs, the Scots are Jocks, what are the English? Never thought of this before

Ana Sun 15-Sept-13 17:16:09

Why would it be an insult to the parent who is not white-skinned? Why not the other way round? I was just pondering on *NfkDumpling's obvervations and am certainly not taking this any further!

JessM Sun 15-Sept-13 17:30:07

Maybe, annie because the English gave these names and/or stereotypes to the nationalities they rules over. There are lots of others on the list.
Irish people who laugh at "thick Irish" jokes - what choice do they have? Get told Irish people are always looking for a fight? Irish people often have a great sense of humour but that should not mean they have to put up with that stuff and laugh at it.
There are many incredibly sexist jokes about women. The worst one I ever heard was a rigmarole about someone having their "gender reassigned". The punchline was about having most of his brain removed and his mouth widened. Not funny. But women are under a lot of pressure to join in and laugh when men tell these jokes.
The only one I can think of re English is "limeys" - not derogatory, based on the navy giving lime juice to prevent scurvy.

bluebell Sun 15-Sept-13 17:40:13

We could just call English people English, Welsh people Welsh, Irish people Irish?

thatbags Sun 15-Sept-13 17:41:35

Your post at 16:54, ana, is interesting. Why is it always one way round even when the person concerned is not actually black in the sense of being dark skinned? As I ask that question, I know the answer – an answer anyway – it's because there is shame attached to being white and pride attached to being black. This is because of history and because of still current racism. We human beings have a long way to go before we shed all that. sad

Gorki Sun 15-Sept-13 17:46:18

My father was proud to be called a Geordie when he came down south from South Shields. Serious question: why are people from that area called Geordies ? Is it short for anything ? confused

Movedalot Sun 15-Sept-13 17:50:24

I didn't see the deleted post but do have some sympathy for Poppy if she used the abbreviation I assume she did as it is simply an abbreviation. Surely it is only the context in which it is used which makes it offensive? I am a Brit and don't have any problems with that abbreviation, my father was a Scot, no problem there. If the abbreviation in itself is considered offensive then perhaps it is the person being offended who has a problem? sad

vampirequeen Sun 15-Sept-13 17:51:05

My white friend is married to a very, very dark skinned man (the black that is almost purple). Their daughters have beautiful coffee coloured skin. One of their grandchildren (white father) is porcelain white with blue eyes and very tightly curled ginger hair. What is he?

It's time we stopped using race as a description. People are just people.

bluebell Sun 15-Sept-13 17:56:40

Interesting Bags but not sure I agree. In apartheid South Africa, very 'light skinned' mixed race people would try and pass as white for obvious reasons. Sales of skin lightening cream are popular amongst some ethnic groups and I think I remember reading something about the Indian caste system and lighter skins being more desirable. All of that is because of the centuries of discrimination that 'black' people faced ( and still do) . Once 'black is beautiful' started, acknowledging and honouring the 'black' part of a mixed race heritage was encouraged . Being 'black' is not just about the colour of your skin and I thought the term mixed race was meant to cover all that.

bluebell Sun 15-Sept-13 17:59:53

Vampire - I do agree with not automatically describing someone by the colour of their skin but equally there needs to be acceptable ways to do this of its necessary/appropriate - eg for ethnic monitoring purposes. Moved - you have completely missed the point - Brit and the abbreviation poppy used aren't remotely comparable

bluebell Sun 15-Sept-13 18:01:14

Moved - how dare you blame people who are the subject of offensive language for daring to be offended?