Do you belong to any other forums?

A very sensible post, PRINTMISS.

Of course most new members play themselves in like that annie - just a few, present company excepted, seem to barge in with all guns firing, in a rather overwhelming way, that can sometimes disrupt the balance of the site. Gn is normally welcoming to new members I'd say.

On a forum as in anywhere else we are all equal. Being new or or an established member does not diminish a posters right to express a view!

I suspect people who are quick to fire a bitchy riposte /take offence/ piss take / disrupt/peace-make are like that in real life too! I avoid people in real life who I find unpleasant /irritating etc as much as possible and try to do so online. Sometimes there are issues that are very important to me and I will respond even if the tone of the thread is combative and getting snipey!

My golden rule is to do my best to respond to the issue not the personalities.

I'm afraid when I joined (at my DD's suggestion) I jumped in with both feet.
I was not even IT literate (still aren't)
I've enjoyed my time with you all, but do hate it when it gets confrontational.
I've come home after been vituperativey sworn at by an unsuccessful claimant, who really upset me and the last thing I want is more nastiness!
So please my very dear friends, lets not fight!

to cheer you up after an unpleasant time at work galen

These are for everybody!

Thanks

I joined Gransnet, and remain a member because it is so polite and reasonable and Gransnetters have enough grasp of English grammar and spelling to post contributions that are comprehensible and rational, whether I agree with them or not.

Compared with other forums I have dipped into with their illiterate posters abusing other contributors and incapable of expressing any opinions in a coherent or reasonable way, Gransnet is a glorious oasis of calm rationality.

Of course some issues may raise some people's temperatures, Gransnet postingwise, but isn't that part of normal life? My family regularly have heated discussions on all sorts of issues, but without any personal rancour or repercussions. That is what I see happening on Gransnert., heated discussions but no personal animosity.

Well said FlicketyB
Galen Have some and think of your cruise
Kitty I don't avoid threads because I'm afraid to post on them - some I avoid because I'm not interested in the subject, some I read but don't post on because I can't contribute anything to the discussion, and some I read and don't post on because I don't want to get involved in the unpleasantness. That's a choice I make, but it's not based on fear.
I agree with Penstemmon that responding to the issue, not the personality, is the important thing. If everyone did that, there would be far less unpleasantness.

Jess, I think everyone should accept we are all individuals who meet up here, different values, different opinions , different lives , different sense of humour, it's the way the world wags , and it is a lovely world even though a troubled one. I enjoy reading different opinions, and speaking of different opinions then just wait untill there is talk of what I call the S word, that white, cold, smelly stuff which comes from the sky in winter and some love , eeeeewwwww

Snow? Smelly?

Galen

I been on several forums but got tired of them because every thread seemed to end up as either a slanging match or a cosy little chat between two or three people with no encouragement to anyone else to join in.

So far most of the Gransnetters seem to be reasonable people with interesting things to say. Most of the arguments seem to be genuine misunderstandings and most people seem to be happy to agree to differ.

Gransnet is the only general forum I go on. The rest, believe it or not, are to do with politics.
I actually stopped looking and contributing for over a year because someone said something unpleasant to me. Then a month ago, I thought "What the hell!" and started adding my sixpennorth again. If people do not like what I say that's their problem, they do not need to read it.
Sometimes what I write looks like a cosy chat between a few people because we have something in common, but on the whole I do not like PMs because that can upset others who are not in the loop.
PMs should always be kept private so others on the forum cannot be made to feel that they are being left out. If this makes sense.
I agree with Flickety about the grammar and spelling. That's important to me. Oh, and I do not like swearing.

Yes thatbag, smelly , I am quite use to everyone disagreeing with me on this , most unusual I know but I can smell the horrid stuff

I love snow.

When you wake up and the world is totally silent outside because only a few intrepid souls are venturing out and the snow muffles the sound of the wheels anyway, the bright blue sky and the glare from the reflected ight off the snow, the way my garden looks no worse than anybody ele's because the weeds are well and truly hidden and the excuse (if ever I needed one) to hunker down with a good book/DVD or the laptop.
It helps of course if it falls in the right season!

Gracemum, I wish i could think of it as you do, it terrifies me, have a full blown phobia

Ah. That explains it. It has been puzzling me. I can sometimes "smell" when snow is on the way, but I think it's really "sense" because of falling pressure and a certain feel to the air.

Snow phobia can't be nice. I had a fear of driving on white stuff for a few years after a crash caused by ice, but I've overcome the worst of it now.

One of the great benefits of retirement is that snow is a pleasure and not a pain. When I was working I would immediately start worrying about getting to work and, once there, about getting home. I love the snow but hate driving in it. Of course now I can worry about my children driving in it!!

I run a forum. It is incredibly hard to find a balance between opinion and irrational and inflammatory posts. I have banned a stalker (male), someone who persistently posted racial jokes that caused two of our nicest members to leave (male), someone who was sending vile pms to various people (female) and someone (male) who kept telling me that they had been receiving death threats from our oldest male member, a kindly 90 year old male who wouldn't hurt a fly. I have refused to ban people for political reasons, but been sorely tempted. They have usually cleared off and given up anyway. Ditto religious ones who have tried to convert us. We are beyond redemption I fear.

But it is what makes a board lively, if we all agreed, how boring it would be. When the liveliest members are away on holiday the boards feels unnaturally quiet and I find I am looking elsewhere for stimulation. So now we have two joke threads, one for normal jokes, one for risque ones. Headings that warn 'If you don't like **, don't read this thread. That sort of thing. If I really dislike something I can change it or delete it before anyone else sees it and tell the member off. Or warn them that we perhaps have more gay members than they had realised... without naming names of course. And astonished by members wanting me to ban people for 'offensive grammar and spelling'!

Our board is far smaller than this so takes far less time to see what is going on, but we have lost our main source of members since the Beeb closed its boards so I fear that at some point we shall all just die off.

If there's one thing that I have learnt, it's that it is very possible to read a sentence in entirely the wrong way from which it was intended. So if you don't like something you see, please read it very carefully before you complain. And if it's late at night, read it again the next morning. I have lost count of the number of posts I made that were taken in entirely the wrong light.

Very good advice, janerowena!

Love the notion of people being incensed enough to call for the banning of other members for 'offensive grammar and spelling'!

Very interesting Janerowena and yes, good advice. I like the idea of a warning being posted on a possibly contentious thread too - a sort of 'enter at your own risk'.

Often the thread title will alert one to the possibility that one may not like to read or discuss the content. Exemple I said in a post yesterday that one thing I would disagree on with proberly most is a liking for snow, this was a light hearted comment, to day there is a thread 'snow'. Now if one was of the nature that wanted disagreements one would be into that thread looking for posts to disagree on, I have ignored it, why bother to read a thread one knows one will disagree with . Unless one wanted to seek out disagreements I suppose

It isn't a contentious thread Anniebach, mere observations on an early snowfall.
Nothing to get worried about or disagree with