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Pre Christmas support thread - if full of seasonal joy, please start your own threads

(120 Posts)
JessM Sun 01-Dec-13 19:29:28

This is a support thread for those who find December a difficult month.
I often find this time of year sad, as my family are all in the southern hemisphere. And I never much rated it anyway.
So far so good this year but not wanting to break with tradition I am starting a thread for those of us who have to struggle through the "festive season".
Please if you love it, let us grumble or weep in peace without injections of jollity.

Galen Sun 01-Dec-13 19:31:31

Thanks JessM! I find it difficult and stressing

Soutra Sun 01-Dec-13 19:40:26

Kind and sensitive thought JessM
Judging by threads/posts there will be quite a few who will not be finding it easy

Nelliemoser Sun 01-Dec-13 19:49:16

Nice one Jess!

Nonu Sun 01-Dec-13 19:53:36

This is a kind , nice thoughtful thread !
It is not for me , but nevertheless I think it very good !!

Lindylooby Sun 01-Dec-13 19:57:07

Dreading Christmas, the first without my darling husband. Will paint a smile on my face for our 12 grandchildren on the day, but feel completely desolate. My thoughts and a virtual hug to all those gns who find themselves dreading the coming festivities. [Flowers]

kittylester Sun 01-Dec-13 20:07:05

Lovely thought, Jess flowers

Anne58 Sun 01-Dec-13 20:13:44

Somewhat bittersweet for me, on 12th December it will be 5 years since my darling boy Jack died, aged 19.

Lindy thinking of you, the first is always the hardest. flowers

Gally Sun 01-Dec-13 20:20:06

Lindy flowers I found last Christmas awful despite everyone trying to be kind and just wanted it to be over. This one will be totally different - a non-Christmas, as I will be in Oz and I never feel I have 'done' Christmas as it's too hot to get in the mood and eating barbecued fish rather than dried out turkey, is more like being on holiday ! This year I haven't bothered with Christmas cards and have kept presents to the minimum. Perhaps this is the beginning of a new type of Christmastime? Today, my 40th wedding anniversary, I have been travelling and then looking after the gc's while DD is working so my mind has been occupied. Lots of love and {{hugs}} to everyone who will not be with those they love this Christmas. sad

NfkDumpling Sun 01-Dec-13 20:23:26

I'm fortunate to have my family and DH but being married to a founder member of the Bah Humbug Society and evangelical aethiest, we don't go overboard at Christmas. I hate all the hype and the way the media pushes this ideal family thing. All these perfect families giving each other perfect presents. Getting on for half the population now live alone now for one reason or another and a hell of a lot of us will missing a loved one from their lives. There'll be a lot of brave faces again this year. ((hugs)) to all of you whose lives have been turned upside down and especially those who find themselves alone.

JessM Sun 01-Dec-13 20:31:28

flowers and a brew all round. Particularly to those who lost a loved one at this time of year.

Charleygirl Sun 01-Dec-13 20:31:55

I will be alone, I prefer not to be but that is the way it is so I will make the best of it. That is a lovely thought JessM

Ariadne Sun 01-Dec-13 21:06:43

A good thread, Jess thoughtful and needed, which I'm sure will be appreciated.

hespian Sun 01-Dec-13 22:04:13

Finding it really hard as my emotions are in turmoil. My beloved brother in law went into the hospice yesterday and is very unlikely to be with us by next week at this time. Meanwhile my DD, DS, daughter in law and new DGD are due here in two weeks to join us from Australia for Christmas after not seeing them for more than 2 years and never having met DGD. Just don't know how we will all get through the next few weeks- but we will!

positivepam Sun 01-Dec-13 22:06:36

I agree Ariadne a very thoughtful and needed thread. Although I will have some of my family with me this year, on the 6th it would be the birthday of my son who was murdered and I find it very hard not to think of what might have been and no matter how many years go by it always feels like it was yesterday. Anniversaries are always hard aren't they? My love and thoughts go out to all of you that have sad memories and a hard time at this point of the year. flowers

LizG Sun 01-Dec-13 22:08:03

I don't have a specific reason for not enjoying Christmas, I just don't. So thank you for starting this thread JessM somewhere to come when the adverts get to be too much.

Aka Sun 01-Dec-13 22:57:45

Hate this month. Saddest memories ever. Such pain and grief. sad sad sad

newist Sun 01-Dec-13 23:31:47

Aka flowers

Eloethan Sun 01-Dec-13 23:45:26

Christmas is obviously not the mythical wonderful time for everybody because, following it, the number of people seeking a divorce shoots up.

As has been said, increasing numbers of people spend it on their own and I'm sick of all the hype that presents a misleading picture, basically just to sell more stuff.

For those for whom Christmas is a sad, lonely or difficult time, I hope that chatting with other Gransnetters can provide some comfort.

absent Mon 02-Dec-13 01:41:31

Having spent only one Christmas in the past 14 years with my daughter and grandchildren, my heart goes out to all those missing loved ones at what should be a delightful, family oriented time of year. I am fortunate as I have moved and we shall now be together.

mollie65 Mon 02-Dec-13 07:05:36

just to add - I too find it hard this time of the year and the ads for the 'perfect Christmas# reinforce the feeling that so many of my much loved family in the past are no longer around us. I did not know that half the population live alone - makes me feel less alone in a way. smile
I have simplified my Christmas as much as I can and tried to ignore the razzamatazz as just another advertising ploy.

ffinnochio Mon 02-Dec-13 07:08:35

Thanks Jess. A very thoughtful thread for those of us who feel especially tender at this time of year.

Brendawymms Mon 02-Dec-13 08:12:16

Just done the Christmas cards and have realised how many of our friends have died this year. For all those without a loved one for the first time this December lots of hugs . flowers

Lona Mon 02-Dec-13 08:41:07

flowers for all the sadness, I sympathise as my mum died the week before Christmas a few years ago.
So many sad things seem to happen around this time.

shysal Mon 02-Dec-13 08:44:56

positivepam, how can anyone ever get over something like that? It makes my feelings of aloneness seem trivial. My thoughts are with all of those without their loved ones at Christmas. If the media were to be believed, everybody else has a wonderful fun-filled time with their families. Sadly that is not he case.