Vaginal Knitting!!! ??

I already have a chin tattoo - it's called a dimple but guess I could embellish it with some kohl

I think it is a dignified look
www.waikatopolitx.com/2012/10/staunch-wahine-toa.html

When my sister and I were on a coach being driven down the 90 mile beach in NZ, our Maori driver referred to the 'elder ladies'. We looked around to see who they were, and then at each other when we realised he meant us. We took it as a great compliment. But we didn't get tattoos.

Please, in the interests of people who suffer the same affliction as Nellie and I, could you please let this thread disappear.

I feel very uncomfortable each time I spot it!

Galen - experienced in what though? Knitting? I'm sure you're a perfect elder flower who is very cordial.

Micelf: Brilliant academic treatise on knitting but in order to restore the gender balance I wish to instigate a learned discussion on the uses of male genitalia for knitting by repeating my previous comment which begins with B & ends with ks.

Pin cushions?

Do you think it could be cured by use of a canesten pessary?

Gadabout With men has to be crochet as they cannot hold a needle in each hand and where would they keep their balls to stop them from rolling all over the floor.

Love this thread! Thank you all!

Don't tempt me, Nellie....

Now that would be transgressional. Or tranggressive. Or transaggressive. And definitely post modern: Bunch of hairy men sitting in a gallery with no clothes on for a couple of weeks, crocheting nice sets of genitalia in a variety of interesting yarns. Green mohair. Donegal unbleached wool. Alpaca. Lavender silk.
Now that has not been done before. Can I have my MA without actually setting this up? No? I'll be back when I have booked the gallery and found some suitably macho volunteers with hairy backs.

Could they just sit in a circle behind each other crocheting one anothers hairy backs? You could entitle it "Bonding" or "You scratch my back . . ."

Green mohair would look like fungus....

....or mould....

Kittylester & all who dislike this thread: I recommend you read, as a cure all, "The Mirror Within" & "A Woman in Your Own Right" by Anne Dickson. You should have been in Bath in the 1980s - Dickson's suggestions were all the rage there then. I wonder if she's on GN - about the right age now?

I am actually loving this thread but, with my problem 'down below', it just makes me want to scratch - especially at the mention of mohair etc! I know TMI

I wonder if this would catch on in group knitting circles

Has there been a reality knitting show yet?

The Great British Cast Off with a showstopper challenge?

merlot
This week's mums net chat letter or whatever its called gives an honourable mention to someone who once received a metal speculum from her BIL for xmas.
But I did have a plastic one. They were all the rage in the early 70s. Learn to recognise own your nether regions (Haven't i seen you somewhere before?).
Never did the group version though where you learned to recognise each others. That was a truly radical idea though.

Can't imagine any occasion when that skill would come into its own, though...

These days the problem is not that I wouldn't recognise my nether regions. I just can no longer contort my body down that far to ever get near enough to see anything.

Periscope?

After such an erudite exposition of the philosophical, metaphysical and biological issues surrounding knitting (and did red lipstick come into it earlier?) I find myself pondering the local "Knit and Natter" group and wondering what they would make of all the ramifications..

Never did quite understand the wonder of inspecting one's nether regions either, but, like Nellie I couldn't anyway these days!

I'm quite handy with a speculum and could provide a swivelling mirror, plain one side, magnifying the other?
Please form an orderly queue!